Only Can Smile.

       Hohohohohoh~AHahahahahahaha~ that all i can do to make myself feeling better. Well, sometimes its work. Yeah, Laugh For Nothing is just the best medicine for me when i feel so broken. Yeah, my best day is gone and there come the worst. I just can't believe it. Why can't I lives my best day for a long period of time? I just having my good time for a couple of days and then POOFF~ everything is disappear just like that! WTF?! Haiz~ I'm so fed up will all this actually but what else i can do? Wait until I can find the solution? If that so, i won't having my best day till i die. You know what, today i feel so sad and honestly, i cry badly. Well, not as bad as before as my mother and father were there because I don't want to show my tears to them all.Yeah, today, i found that my cousin, Isaac Melcore is going to stay at Sabah forever. I do hate him but i feel so empty when i found this bad news. I can't accept it. When my mum told me this, I said nothing because all i can do is keep silence. Isaac... He is really testing my patience and my temper. But still, I love him inside. Sometimes he's cute and sometimes he's crazy. And when he was still a little, he call me Ngengngeng and i like the name. Almost all my cousins call me Ngeng. I thank to him for giving me such a lovely name.

    I wish I can have one more chance to say I'm Sorry to him for being a very bad sister. For all this time, I bully him and sometimes, i hurt him. I never thought about his feeling. When he asked, I never answer him with a good tune. I scold him eventhough i know that wasn't his fault. I feel so guilty. I really hope that I can celebrate New Year with him and i'll use that very moment to say i'm sorry and I'll take as many picture as i can. I also will hug him tightly. I'll give him love and care.

This is all i want for my New Year Wish.

...Bring Back Isaac To Us...

Last 3 Night, Mir(MBLAQ) Kiss Me On Cheek (ROFL!)

Ahaha =D yeah. i couldn't believe it too. Actually it just a dream but i still can't forget it. Yalorh, who doesn't feeling happy if cute guy were kissing on them, right? ahaha =D Well, in my dream, I don't know why all the sudden he come out and wanted to kiss me. So, i cover my face up and he kiss me on cheek. But then, I immediately woke up.
     I'm not even sure whether that dream is a sweet dream or a nightmare. haha :D. What confuse me here is, I'm not really into Mir because i'm a fans of Cheondung A.K.A Thunder. And for sure, that dream surely playing in my mind for this 3 whole day. ahaha =D Well, i feel lucky eventhough it just a silly dream.LOL~ whole my life, i never dreamt of anything like this. ahaha =D

The Best Christmas Ever!

 Merry Christmas everyone! Ahaha~ I really wish that i could see Santa tonight but i don't think he will come as here, the weather is so freaking hot! I know Santa don't like warm. ehehe~ This year is my first year of celebrating christmas alone. It is because my mum is following my uncles and aunts back to our hometown. But, thats cool because i'm free to do anything i want. Well not everything. Ehehe.
    On 24th, i went to school to get my PMR results and i was so suprised that i get straight A's! whoa~ I thought i get straight B's you know. When I found this out, I jumped and i feel like i was flying~ ahaha =D  I thank to cousin Gloria for accompany me to school and I am also thank to Lorene Drive for giving me the biggest luck! ahakz~
     And for real, that was my very first time getting all A's. Whoa~ I can't describe anymore how glad i am! I feel so happy inside as I can make my parents, my brother and sister and my uncles and aunts proud of me.( especially my parent) I really want to cry over it but my tears just won't come out. Maybe because i'm too happy. I feel satisfied. really satisfied as all my hard work has been paid off eventhough i'm not really a good student at school and everytime we got exam, i never get A's. At the same time, I make my parents dream come true!

          Honestly, eventhough this year i celebrate christmas alone, I feel happy because I get the best christmas present ever! But still feel lonely inside because I really wish that my parent is here with me and we can celebrate this day together~


Hoping To Get Good Grade

Today is a day where i will take my PMR results. Its really getting my nerve and honestly i said, my whole body is shaking. I'm here at home all by myself because my mum just leave with my aunt and uncle back to our hometown. So, she left me with my brother. Well, my brother had to go to work later on so that i consider that by left me here alone just like waiting for a death to come over. ahak~ I wish my mum can stay with me here today you know so that i can feel more better as i have someone to accompany me.
    About companion, i already call cousin Gloria to come over.ehehe. Not that i;m scare to left alone, but because she also being left by her parent and her sister had to go to work. We equal. ahaha =D. and just now i heard a noise in the kitchen and of course i don't want to find out. ehehe.  Back to business. PMR PMR. hopefully i can get a good grades later on. well, i think thats all for now, maybe later i'll tell what i get. ehehe =D see ya if i wanna be ya!

Life Complication

Today is another bad day. Haiz! I don't know when i can have my best day. Things always gone wrong and i'm really sick of it. Today, Miss A wanted to follow Mr.B back to his hometown as her parent doesn't agree with their relationship. But then, I saw Miss A dad and my uncle were talking with Mr.B outside but I didn't hear what are they saying. So, i decided to go to Miss A rooms and when I entered her room, she was packing her stuff. I couldn't hold my tears anymore so i hugged her tight and at that time i really don't know what to do and just hoping that she won't go. I really wanted to scream but it seem like my voice stuck. I just cry, cry and cry. More sad when her mother enter her room and she begged for Miss A to stay. After a while we said nothing, Miss A called Mr.B and asked him where is he. Suprisingly, Mr.B leave without her. Well, not really suprising actually because i can predict that Miss A father told him to go. After that, me and cousin Phoebe just stay there and accompany her there in her room. I leave her and cousin Phoebe there and run back to my house as I have nothing to say to make her feel better and i feel bad because as her sister, i should do or say something to make her feel better but unfortunately i don't. So i think a good nap can make me feel better la.
      A good nap doesn't seem can make me recover. So i really thanks to cousin Gloria for coming to our house today as she make my day more better. She just too fun to be around and i had a laugh. Thats all because of her. I didn't told her what had happen because i think i just want to keep it as a secret. Oh well, enough of the sad story.

      Today, me and cousin Gloria play delta force : black hawk down and you know what, we finish the game! Ahaha~ i am so happy and excited when we manage to finish the game. For all this time we played this game, we never reach the final.Ahakz! I feel like jumping when i found that we manage to finish the game in a very short time. Ahakz! Well, cousin Phoebe also there but she didn't played with us la she played spongebob squarepants. (PSP)
    Well, yeah~ we been killed a couple time but we still feel proud of ourselves you know because black hawk down is our favourite games for all time!
     I think that all for now. Hoping that tomorrow is my best day. I really want to feel the good in my life because i'm overly tired of worst day. Well, thats why i said, Life is Complicated. Sometimes we love it, Sometimes we hate it. What ever it is, I will never give up in life! Gambatte, Pgie! (^o^)

The Day I Took Care of My Son.

FEUH! Shawn really testing my patience today. He cry, cry and cry. Haiz! If he wasn't my brother's son, i'll kick him you know. Urgh! I give him his toys, i played with him and i even give him milk. I wish i could understand baby language.
     I call his Grandma(which is my mum) few times but she always said "we're own our way home but totally doesn't make sense because you see, i call her around 3 o'clock but they get home at 6! Truely i said. I have no experience in babysitting and i admit that i'm easily get angry and when that happen, i don't care whether they are kids or adults.
     You won't believe if you see such a very innocent looks like him in the picture can cause such a big pain. He been annoyed me all day. My best day is ruined by him. Little Monster. Me and cousin Phoebe almost lost our insanity because of him. we tried to ignore him and  let him cry there alone but we just can't.
     Sometimes he laugh, sometimes he cry. I think i will never understand what baby thinking and what they actually need. I wonder, am i just like that too when i was a child like him? I hope not. (^o^)

    If i was as annoying as him, i think i owed my mum a big apology for being annoying. Hmm.. I do angry at him before but now i realize that he isn't the one who should be blame but me because as his mother, i  should try to understand what he wants. Its my job to keep my son happy and not to let him there and cry. I just saw what my mum did to make Shawny happy again and that make me thinking. I think, today i have learn a very good lesson which had taught me how to be a good mother in the future.

Wedding Day!

Today is my brother wedding day. Well, actually he is my cousins(^o^) I didn't attend to his wedding so thats why i wrote this and hopefully he can read this one day. ahakz! Yeah. This is his second marriage. So i hope this girl who is going to be Mrs.Ron Should be a good girl because my brother deserve the best. You know, my brothers, they all are hottie.LOL. So, they really deserve the best.
     My mum, aunt and my uncle are going to the wedding but left me, cousin Phoebe and my big brother at home and took care of my naughty little son, Shawn. He's asleep right now. Nothing to worry. eheks! Hmmm..I wonder hows the wedding.  Hopefully my mum is having fun there.

    I hope their future together is just like Edward and Bella. I mean like True Love. Yeah, i' not really sure about the girl but i'm pretty sure that the girl was very lucky for having my brother as her husband. I just hoping that the girl will show some respect and grateful to my brother and not to stepping over his head and conquer his money. That is the baddest and that girl is surely going to hell. ahaha =D. Well, let just say that i'm happy for both of them and hoping that they will living a happy life until the end of their life.

I want to go to South Korea!

        As you know, i am korean wannabe. Yea. pathetic heh? ehehe but i really wish i can speak korean you know. I buy a lot of Korean books as a reference but (=_=;) Oh well, maybe i'm not meant to be korean. ahaha =D Everytime my dad come home, i told him that i want him to bring me to Korea one day and after that, i will leave him and mum alone. (^o^). 
         I learn few korean words from friends that i found on the net. First word that i learn from them is 'Ahnneyeong haseyo', 'Chingu'  and 'Sarangheyo'. a very basic word that most of us can heard by watching Korean movie and drama. The most korean drama that i ever watch is My Girl. ROFL. That drama, everytime i think about any part from the drama, i'll burst to laugh because that drama was so damn funny.

     And that drama is my first korean drama and from that drama i started to fell in love with korean celebrity. I think Lee Jun Ki was my first. (^_^). Okayla, i'm out from the main topic again. ahakz!  Well, there is a few things that i really like about Korea. First is their language. If you listen to what korean people say carefully,  you will find it very cute because almost every word they said is ended with 'O' sounds(^_0) like, 'komowayo', 'bulmeoyo' and the truth is  don't know what is that word suppose to means. ahakz! Okayla, second things i really adore about Korea is their Music. Actually if you just listen  their music just like that, you will never find what so special about them and you will say their music is just the same with others. But for me, their music got something which make it sound really special.

     I don't know why i think their music is special. Maybe because i'm too obsess with Korean things. But from many genre of music, i prefer to listen to RnB, HipHop and Rock. Hmm..On my third list is korean people. You see, for all this years. i have been watching their music video and dramas. So, i just realize that most of korean male is a pretty boy type. But i don't think that weird at all because that what make them be so special and of course have caught my heart. LOL! Sometimes, when i print out my favourites artist's photo and my mum saw them, she would say that i'm crazy and of course she would say they don't even real. LOL!  i realize that mum. But i just can't control myself you know. Everytime i found a new korean boyband, there will be one of their bandmates will caught my eyes you know. Eheks.
       Okayla. ermmm.. My Fourth is about their City. Seoul City and Busan City is my favourite. How i wish i can be there right now. And if i'm lucky, i will meet with my favourite people. LOL! alright. ahakz~ Seoul city is Bi-Rain's hometown and Busan City is Lee JunKi's hometown. ahaha! i think, thats all for now i think. ehehe~ hopefully my dream come true one day. 

Why him?!

  Why him? Why should be Inseok? arghh! I don't really get it. First, I'm so depply in love with Gdragon. But, why Inseok manage to caught my heart and make me stop thinking of Gdragon? Haiz~ well i think i just blame everything on Inseok's cute face :D He so damn cute. 
        Actually, i don't really 100%  fall in love with him because of his face but we also have common between us. Which is we both like Doraemon and Mickey Mouse! When i found this out, i just like flying in the air! L.O.L~  i never thought that there were still somebody who like doraemon and mickey mouse like i do. ahaha. Truthfully, i'm not really Doraemon and Mickey Mouse fans only but more anime and cartoon which i love so much. Ahakz! That why my mum call me immature. Well, as always, i take that as a compliment. ekeke =D Once i told my mum that i want to marry Doraemon and my mum said i'm already lose my insanity. L.O.L. 
      Okayla. I think i'm out from the main topic! ahakz! No worry about that because i'm pretty sure that will happen again in the future. (^o^) So, about this boy(Inseok) he is the leader of a band named SHU-I. Actually, at my first time seeing this band, i like one of the bandmates but not Inseok oppa. His name is Changhyun if i'm not mistaken. But then, i search again for their pictures, i change my mind and choose Hyungjun. L.O.L and thats mean Inseok oppa is my third choice and he really make my heart melt just like when i fell in love with Gdragon before. LOL. 
           So, i think this is one of the reason why i don't fell in love with real people(not celebrity). Hmm.. Maybe because i'm so syok with my own world. ahaha =D pity me! I think i'm not normal but abnormal LOL. okayla. i just don't want to talk about this anymore because i'm afraid that i just can't stop. LOL. 

Worst than Before

 I know i shouldn't start my blog by telling  bad things happen in my life because so far, all blogs that i've read, all start with happy things. You see, today i think is one of the worst day that i ever had in my entire life. Since i enter my teenage life, i had the worst. i'm tired of this actually. But what can i do? i'm just an ordinary girl.
    The thing is, i'm just confuse. I don't know whose side should i be.  I'm so blank when this thought came into my mind. So hating it but i'm helpless. I don't really want to explain everything here. So, i think its better if i use something else to describe this matter.
    Okay. Like this, Miss A and Mr.B love each other. But Miss A's parent don't agree with their relationship because they don't really like Mr.B. So, Miss A told her cousin which i named cousin C that she can't stay with her parent anymore as she love Mr.B so much. Miss A decided to move with Mr.B. The connection between me and this matter is, i'm Miss A another cousin (cousin D, i think).

    Truthfully, i can understand her feeling and i also can feel her mother's sorrow.  I really don't know whose side should i be. I wish i can make things right but if i took part in this whole matter, maybe i'll make things more worst. I'm so worried about Miss A future. What if Mr.B dumped her? What if Mr.B's family don't like her? and if that happen, will her parent forgive and welcomed her to their family once again? All of this question came out. I love her so much because she just like my real sister. And i never want anything bad happen to her. I wish that she change her mind and stay.
    And so i wish that the only bad story for today. This second story is more bad. Well bad for me of course. Its all about PMR which i just took this years. The result will come out this 24th December. I am so scare as the day is around the corner. I don't want to see my results. I didn't study well but i believe that i already did my really best for that. I can't even imagine if my results is not good. My parent will be very upset and angry with me. I don't really hope to get straight A's actually. Getting 3 or 4 A's is already enough for me. I really want to cry but my tears won't come out. Its like my tears were stuck on my cornea or something that is connected to eyes. I'm so scared. I don't think i can sleep well this night and the night after.
         I really want to make my parent proud of me but this is just to late because i can't go back in time and retake the exams. All i can do for now is hoping to get the best result. I also hope that i can enter the best class next year.
       I think thats all for now. I hope tomorrow is better than today because i'm so tired to spend my day with problems. I'm so damn tired.

Introducing Myself

                  NICKNAME : PGIE. NGENG(FAMILYONLY) & BIE.       
                     HOBBIES : WRITE A STORY.DRAWING.SLEEPING &     
                PETS : DOGS(SHIRO.CHUBIE.PIKO).