Asking What's Wrong When It's All Happen Because Of Me.

<----- Levedad : The Origin of Vampire Prophecy version of Archangel Michael. hahaha :) Yea, I think real St. Michael is looking better than him. ehehehehe :) I don't know, it just my thought. I never seen him :) Anyway, reason I'm speaking about my favorite Archangel is that when I was busy researching about my guardian angels, I found that my guardian angel is St. Michael himself :) Wehoo! in fact, he is the angel of Sunday which mean, he care for all children of God that born on Sunday, like me :) I'm born on Sunday too :))) Which this is really make my day. Well, why not? When I know my favorite angel is guarding me all this time. hahahaha :) No wonder I like St. Michael so much :) He give me strength, courage and even protect me :) I feel pretty much protected :) Thank you very much, Prince of the Heavenly host :) I really am thanking the Lord for answering my prayers though. ehehehe :) As I always wished to be protected by St. Michael and finally it is come true :) Thank you my Lord :) really, even this is just something small, but still I feel so joyful :) eheheheheehehehe :) I don't know, but I feel like something is lifted up from my chest. Maybe after that short meaningful conversation with Jaba just now. hahahaha :) Half of my burdened is lifted. I do really thanking for my Father in Heaven for answering my prayer as I asked Him to give me courage on asking Jaba why she never start conversation with me first and which then led us to compromising of misunderstood between us. The longest misunderstood that we ever had. Yeah, and realized that is all begin with me. hahahahaha :) I'm a badass.

right now, I'm pretty much mad at myself for you know, doing the mistake that I shouldn't have made. hahahaha :D I never thought all those awkwardness between me and Jaba was actually all because of me and while I keep thinking what is bothering her. hahaha :D and its seriously funny because what's bothering her is ME. hahaha. I was making the wrong choice before. I thought 'In' was seriously understand me as the way she talks to me is pretty much convincing, her innocence blinded me and all the empty promises she had gave me. Not long after that, someone told me that she actually never like me as she said that I'm pretty much annoying lah, ugly, don't have style, not ladies enough, very clumsy, childish, blah blah blah lah. hahahaha :) While I was still believing her that she accept me for who I am. served me right. I deserve that a lot. And in contrary, I was abandoning the one who really are accepting me for who I am, the one never leaving me, and the one who understand me the most. Heh, everything seems to be fucked up. I know... I'm such a jerk. Apologizing is not gonna heal her broken heart as I know how much I hurt her even she kept telling me she's fine. But I know, she's hurt. because of my idiotic action. Uh! Fuck it, I hate myself! >.< Seriously, I don't know how I'm gonna faced her this weekend. hahahaha :D I'm embarrassed of what I've done to her. I've hurt her like too deep and for too long. And for all the time, I was keep asking myself what's wrong with her and how can i help her? How the hell can I help her when it all happen because of me? hahahahahaha very funny. Hmmmmm.... I don't know what to think about right now, other than guilt. No, i got nothing in mind.

And I really do thank St. Michael for giving me courage to ask her about it though. If not, I would never know that it was me who start everything. hahaha :) Yeah, it's hurt. Truth hurt. But you know, I should have always listen to what my heart tells me which I'm such an idiot for listening more to my scumbag brain. hahahaha :D But you know, as I'm reminiscing back everything, I was never lost trust in her, in fact I miss her. hahaha :D she was near yet felt so far. Even if I'm with 'In', I never was as happy as I'm with her. I know, maybe right now it is just to late to realize this as I'm pretty much has hurt her maybe I've tore her apart. Oh God, why? hahaha :) Abandoning her is like throwing part of me, away. hahaha :) No wonderland, I felt empty. hahahahaha :D Still, I don't think we can be as close as we are before after all this happen. Still I wish with all my heart that we will stay close, or maybe closer :) hmmm... It's my fault. if she hate me one day, I wouldn't blame her. i deserved it. I'm being narcissistic. ahahaha :D I don't deserve forgiveness from her from what I've done. I just dump her and then suddenly talk like nothing happen with her. Fuck it, Kill me. hahahaha :D I deserved to be in hell. hahahaha :) Hmmm... Wish I'm not going in there. hahahahaha :D it scare the hell out of me. hahaha :) I understand if she you know, disliking me. hahaha :) I asked for it at the first place. Now i'm getting it. It's fair game to me..

And besides, I have treat her so bad before and make her mentally broke down. hahahaha :D She's Emo ( she just don't wanna admit it ) and I tore her heart. WOW, fantastic baby. you're going to be punished. hahahahahahaha :) I guess, now I'm just giving her time to cool herself down to decide whether to forgive me or not. hahahahaha :) Well, I'm thinking that she'll said she'll forgive me but I'm expecting that she took a knife and slit my throat for playing with her emotion. hahahaha :D I deserved that like ALOT. Hmmmm... Okaylah, I don't want to keep blaming myself as I'm full with positive energy right now, I guess I just hope for the best and may the Lord our God will forgive me for what I've done to my sister, real sister ( hahaha I'm not afraid writing it here as none of my friend know this blog ) hahahahaha :D Seriously, she's my biological sister :) and I'm hurting my sister mentally. HUAAAAAA~~ I'm SOO BAD!!! >.< BAD PGIE! BAD PGIE! BAD PGIE! okay done. hahahaha :) i'm having backache right now as I've been facing my lappy since I arrived home after class this morning. hahahahaha :D I don't even go out, only go out, to bank only and wash car. that it. other than that, I spend my whole day in my room, facing this thing. hahahaha :D Tomorrow, is going to be my busy day as some of my classmate have asked me out to join them eating. hahahaha eating, I'm going bebeyh. hahahaha :D they want to belanja me McD. huahahaha :D but bfore that, I'm gonna register to IBS with sis Jon :) Wish me luck on that registration thing. hahahha and in the morning, as usual, I'll go attend my computer class and maybe I'll be photostating my certificates :)

So, that's all I wanna say and today I've edited picture of the couple from Levedad : Origin of Vampire prophecy which I really shipped.  ahahaha :D so, ENJOY! :)

Leader/ Leader love is unbreakable. hahahahaha :D
this couple keep denying their feeling towards each other
They don't show it by words
but they show it through their actions
Like, worrying when any one of them in danger or
will do anything to save one another from danger
YERSEHHMENN. ahahahahaha
which always make me blushing. hahahahahahaaha :D
I just love them both
Dear Jaba
Please make them as couple, officially!! :D

shy love is undeniable
Milo is some kind of shy person who is double shy when Fina is around hahahaha
He was the most talkative when with his friend but
seriously awkward when talking to Fina
ahahahahahahaha :D
I always blushed when I read their part in the story
hahaahahahaha :))))
Make me feel like I'm Fina
Oh wait, Fina is somewhat came from my name huahahaha
which that is unofficially ME
huahahahahaha :D
I hope this two also will become couple! XDD

P.S Let Your Smile Cover Up Your Tears :)

My Guardian Angel :)

St. Michael is the Commander-in-Chief of all the hierarchies of the Heavenly Hosts. He is usually known as the Angel who defeated Lucifer and his followers in the first rebellion of creatures against God. By his battlecry: "Mi-ca-El" which means "Who is like unto God?", he was named Michael. He is the first defender of the Blessed Virgin Mary in the Mystery of the Incarnation. He is usually associated with the miracles manifesting the almighty power of God with the Blessed Virgin Mary. (Dan. 10:12; 12:1; Apoc. 12:7).


1) How strong is my faith in God?
2) Do I firmly believe that He constantly watches me in all my undertakings?
3) Do I reject sin and all the works, promises and influence of Satan?
4) Do I commit myself faithfully to Jesus Christ by serving and loving my neighbors?

Novena to the Archangels

O Mighty Prince of the Heavenly Hosts, St. Michael, we beg you to protect and defend us in ll struggles against the everyday temptations in this world. Help us to overcome all evils and strengthen us, that we may declare our faith in and loyalty to the Most High so that together with all the angels and saints in heaven we may glorify the Lord. St. Michael, please intercede for us together with the Blessed Virgin Mary, and obtain for us the following requests __________.

Present to God the Father all these petitions through Jesus Christ our Lord together with the Holy Spirit forever and ever. Amen.