this doesn't need a title.

Well, hello there. 
I just got back from sis Jaba's house. Back to this 'empty' house again like I don't know. hahahaha I don't really know what I should call it because I feel so empty and lonely and invisible at the same time. At the very moment I step onto the house, I was just gotten a very brief glanced from my parent and they just ignore me. Well, they didn't call me or anything about if I'm going home or not. But I was hoping too, ya know. hahahaha yeah, I'm just pathetic. I know. 
I should be telling about my awesome weekend that I spend with sis Jaba and sis Inut but I just can't stop crying right now because I feel so sad.

I should feel home when I get back here but I feel even better when I wasn't. I know, I know I shouldn't feel this way but I just can't help it ya know. I hate feeling like this too but it just... I don't know anymore. Maybe this is one of the reasons kids or teens always decided to run away from home or something. Because of this feeling I'm feeling right now. 

Why can't my happiness stay longer? It's never really stay long. Everytime, right after I had my best moment, there'll always some shit happen. It jsut making me questioning everything. Like, does it mean that I don't really deserve to be happy at all?Why is things always fucked up so much? Why must I feel this way? What have I done wrong? is being happy wrong?

I'm so so so stressed and I really need a hug right now hahahaha but I can't. None of person in this house seems to care or even noticed or even need me here.They only saw me when they need me like literally. Why am I even here? What's the point of me even being here?

I hate this feeling
I really really hate this feeling
I feel so alone in my own house.
And I can't even stop crying, my gosh. hahahaha XD 
ugh. I wish weekend can be longer, but then. I might only menyusahkan sis Jaba and her family for staying longer. gosh, I'm such a thick-face hahaha
Well, maybe I do deserve to be treated like this. I don't know anymore. I just wish that I have another place to go. I hated this place. like really do hate this place.
because it's making me feel so lonely. 
ignored. 
Well, maybe it just me.