Soulmate ♥ Random Topic ♥

Hello, hi! hahahaha
     This is not that random topic though but I just came back from facebook and I read this one post about a women of early twenties, around my age actually and she been saying something like she had everything except for a boyfriend. So in the articles, someone answer her and they told her like they have this one friend who told them that they wrote a list containing the traits of a guy they wanna get married with in a piece of paper and then rip it off and let flew with the wind~ and yeah, now the women married with the guy that have pretty much have the traits they listed down in the list i guess. I didn't really read it through hahahaha but anyway, the theory is interesting and no, I'm not saying that I'm doing it because I'm in need of a boyfriend, noooo... It just that *I just finding the perfect reasons to blog with Logan Lerman's gif mwahhaha* I was just gonna list down mine because the idea of listing down what you want in a partner is pretty intriguing I must say.
I mean, I always love listing down what I want and wish to have hahahaha

But obviously, my ideal man is Logan Lerman. Oh lord, if only he really is mine HAHAHAHAHA I wouldn't mind dying early age HAHAHAHAHAHA I mean, he's basically who I always wish to have as a husband.

He's cute, he's hot, he's polite and he gave that vibes of being a gentleman. I mean, he definitely knew how to treat a women since he have sisters and he pretty much in good term with his mom. He's like that prince of my heart HAHAHAHAHA but serious talk though. He have that good guy vibes and just, in short... He's my kind of guy. The kind that I would fall head over heels over. I mean, we both doesn't even know each other personally but damn, gurl... He already own half of my heart. HAHAHAHAHAHA

sheehus.


Okay, let's get back to business. So, if I had to list down the traits that I would wish for my future boyfriend / husband to have.... It would be;

1. Great smile. I don't know I just love it when someone's smile is so lovely that when they smile, you couldn't help but to smile along. It's like, great smile is very attractive, especially when they own that kind of big front teeth like Leroy Sanchez and dun dun dunn.... My LouLerman baby HAHAHAHA

2. SEcondly.... It would be nice if they have that gentleman vibes like, chivalry isn't dead kind of shiz. Like an hopeless romantic of a guy, like bringing me to sweet candle light dinner, just ya know... Being sappy shiz and doing something like cheesy romantic things that people nowadays would think cringey. But honestly, I do like the cheesy things like open a door for a girl, give flowers during date, slow dance and all that shiz you know.... AND also, it would be better if they are balance in also able to do some stupid things like running around while during groceries, gaming night date, movie date, making pancakes, home cooking and shit like that. Ya knowww, like whatever things that the characters do in the stories I wrote HAHAHAHAHA

3. Hmmmm.... Third, they love singing. Like they doesn't have to be good at singing but they just love singing, Like suddenly broke out into a karaoke session in the middle of shopping hahahahaha and randomly serenading when I'm doing the chores or just picking some groceries or clothes. It just cute. I mean, being playful and shiz. And I, definitely will join them singing as well hahahahaha ahhhh, my heart goes doki doki even just thought about that. gosh, I'm probably blushing right now hahahahaha

4. And that bring us to the fourth traits. Which is being playful. Like, they have this kind teasing grins, after saying something offensive but they didn't actually mean it it just they wanna see you like get mad because they think its cute and shiz. Ya know... it just cute for me. Love to tease you but not annoyed you. Suddenly attacking you with random tickles, calling ur name while you look away from them so that they could poke ur face when u turn over to look at them... or just being playful. A teaser. heeee I love that because I'm a teaser myself hehehehe

5. Then, a funny guy. Yeah, that's right. I love to laugh like seriously. I mean, that's like worldwidely know right now that I laugh like a banshee HAHAHAHAHA so, a funny traits is a huge turn on for me. HAHAHAHA love to jokes around and won't take it to the heart when people making fun of him. I mean, when someone doesn't meant it of course. If they mean it, damn. I'd piss too HAHAHAHA

6. Respectful. I love it when a guy know how to be respectful. Like if we are in a disagreement, they would respect my opinion even though they disagree with it and also, being understandable and not going to straight jump into a conclusion when shit happen between us. I like a guy that pretty mature in handling some shit in life too.

7. And a guy who knows what they want is a huge turn on. A guy that would do anything to achieve something that they always wanted. A guy with a life purpose and a guy with a goals. Like logan lerman JAHAHAHAHAHA I probably just describing Logan right now BUT NO. I don't know if he's playful or shiz. I don't even know him personally. HAHAHAH

 

8. Someone supportive and always be there for me when I need them. A clingy but not too clingy guy. hahahaha like they know when to give me space and they would be respectful for that. Someone who is busy living their own life but at the same time able to make me feel wanted all the time. Able to make me feel that they're always there for me and that i'm literally the one for them. hahahaha

9. I'm just gonna make it to 10 traits because I gotta go out soon. ANyway, the ninth trait would be fashionable. Not too fashionable la. Like you know, just know what would look good on them whenever they wear something. hahahaha just someone who knows how to take care of themselves and their hygiene.

10. Last but not the least, someone who just accept me for who I am. I always call myself as Queen because that's me. I'm a queen. I do things that I like... Just when I';m down, I can't do shit HAHHAHAAH and I always get what I want and I never stop trying until I get that thing. HAHAHHA so, my future shuben would definitely need to be the king who could accept this queen-ness inside of me. Someone who could take my manliness side and my girly, annoying side... SOmeone one would think my laughter is cute and not annoying HAHAHAHA and just accept me for who I am. Because I know, I'm hella wayyy far from how normal girls usually act. I'm not even act girly most of the time. HAHAHAHA so, yeah. It is very important for a guy who accept me for me just as I accept him for who he is.

So, that's all I guess. HAHAHAHA
I shall go now because i need to go dinner HAHAHAHAHA

I'll be see you soon.. TTYL!
Stay safe, homie! ♥

♥ Honey, I'm HOME! ♥

Hello again! HAHAHAHA yeah, I've been busy lately and things definitely happen so fast in my life lately and I still feel a little overwhelmed with everything that happen. I mean, I literally just updated like I don't know, last three month ago, wishing that I'm gonna have a boyfriend and guess what? YES! I did AND now I'm back to single HAHAHAHAHA SEE, told ya. Everything definitely happen so fast. AND ALSO, I'm here now at Singapore. I've been here for a week now and I'm still trying to adapt with life here. I mean, this is the first time I'm truly living away from my family and truly living independently. I haven't been in a good health lately and so it's pretty much has been messing with my mental state as well. I had a moment where I just started to question myself about my decision of going here to be honest but yeah, thanks to my one and only bro meow for being there for me and she pretty much giving an indirect slap on my face by reminding me back my reason of going here. I'm just glad that I have her you know. If I talk to the other sisters, they probably just convince me to come home ahahaha anddddd I'm definitely gonna regret it one day because I'm missing the chance of living the life that I've wanted. I mean, the money my parent converted to me will be burnt just like that if I just came home without trying right? And what's the point I talked too much about wanting to do my best to secure me and Shawny's life in the future if I just decided to give up now. I'm not doing it for myself and that, I need to bury deep in my heart. I'm doing this for Shawn and also, to prove that my parents are able to raise a children that are useful. I can't stand them being looked down upon, due to my brother. I just really hope that my brother would realize his wrongdoings towards our parent one  day, ya know. That is all I'm hoping for. I mean, if he doesn't wanna work, its fine. Just please stop hurting both of them, especially mom. Because she's been hurting so much and I wish nothing more than her happiness. I know, that my decision of going to work at Singapore truly hurt her to be honest, but then I know that she let me go because she want what's the best for me. Because I didn't actually tell her why I decided to come over, since I only have a talk with my dad. Because I know dad would understand my decision better since he know how hard it is to gain money nowadays, to have a secure life in the future and shit like that. So i just told him everything and I hope to God he did told mom too. Well, I guess he did because my mom slowly open up to the idea of me going here. I mean, I'm happy that she did. Though I'm pretty much still feeling a little guilty about hurting her in the process. But I guess, that just the price that I need to pay, right?And now, all I need to do is to prove to both of them that they waste no shit about sending me here. I'm gonna prove to them that I am able to life independently and that I am able to be the head of the family. I am the next head of the clan HAHAHAHAHAHA sheeesh.

So.... About my breakup.. HAHAHAHAHAHA i feel so unreal. I mean, honestly. It's all sunshine and rainbow for about a month and then I started to feel something isn't right about the relationship and so I didn't actually put too much expectation into it. AND also... I noticed that sis Jaba didn't really excited about it too.... I shouldn't have ignoring all these sign to be honest HAHAHAHAHA AND well, the thing is that. The guy, since the first date we had together, he's been telling me about his exes and his past life. SO its making me feel like he still living in his past and ME, I'm living in my future. I mean, I look forward to my future and enjoying the present type of person. So there, is the huge difference that we had. AND also, after sometimes, when he started to get distance with me. He make me question myself. What did I do wrong? Am I not a good girlfriend and shit like that. And that's when I knew that he wasn't the one for me. I mean, you know that I don't actually like it when someone just making me question my worth because I know my worth. I hate it when someone confuse me. AND like... we are so incompatible with each other and I'm pretty much pissed at that one time, it was my Bestie Val's birthday and he expect me to bail from that party and spend time with him and our colleagues just for steamboat? bitch please. He even ask me, You would choose ur bestie or me and I shit you not. I don't even think twice. I say I choose my bestie because I knew her wayyyyyy longer than you. AND how dare he making me choose. Did he think that I'm like other girls, and just left my bestie because i'm oh so in love with him? bitch pls. Valerie is like a family to me. I choose her over any other boy tbh. Not only her, same goes to sis Jaba and now Nisa. They hold a special place in my heart now. HAHAHAHA so to my future shuben, u better be ready to be put second after these girls. HAHAHAHAHA he doesn't know that Val been through hell and back with me and no matter how shitty I am with communication, she always be there for me. like hell, I would choose him over her. *eye rolls*

Like, if he didn't ask to break it up with me, I would break up with him too eventually. I mean, coincidentally, the day when he ask to break up, few hours before that, I actually already decided that I deserve better. So, sooner or later, I would actually break it up with him. HAHAHAHAHA so when he told me that he wanna break up because he feel like we can only be friend with each other and that he still can't move on with his ex girlfriend and shit like that, instead of feeling sad, I'm actually relieves. I feel like all my burden is lifted. I'm like I KNEW IT. So I told him like, I knew from the second date. I saw it in your eyes and shit HAHAHAHAHA jfc.  I'm so good with words HAHAHAHA and then he said to me like, pls don't block my number and I hope that you can find someone better and shit like that. You are too good for me. You know, the usual jazz. And i'm like yeah, I wont block your number because I actually like being friend with you and I told him like, Yeah, I know. You don't have to worry about me because I know God will send me someone better. So chill~ hahahaha xD I mean, yeah.... Maybe I am too good for him. Or too strong for him to handle. I need a king who can handle my queen-ness, not a peasant who expect me to throw my throne away and bow to them. Bitch please. I'm not that desperate of having a boyfriend. AND I literally just cry for one day. Well, not really one day. Half day I guess. HAHAHAHAHA and i was trying my best not to cry in office and then I heard him laughing with the other colleagues like he doesn't care and I feel like okay bitch. This is war. With the support of my one and only bro for life, sis Jaba I'm able to move on with a snap of my fingers and the next day I come to work, I even smile at him like nothing happen. I even say good morning to everyone including him. and shit, man. That just rub it to his face. His face fell down and the whole day, he avoid me. I just smirks at him. HAHAHAHAHAHA I never feel so powerful over someone. I mean, bitch. Like hell I would let you make me feel like shit. You mean shit to me, my man. And I even talk animatedly with everyone like nothing happen.

And remember when I said, that he ask me not to block him everywhere and I didn't. BUT now, he's the one who play victim. He's acting like I'm the one who ask for break up and that he's the victim like bitch. HAHAHAHA oh well, that kind of story sound better though. I mean, I ask to break up HAHAHAHA xD But I regret not a single moment with him though. I gotta say, when we were still together, he's actually a very nice guy. He care about his family. It just that he doesn't know how to handle life. He has a dream but he was way too scared to get out from his comfort zone. I remember that I told him like, if we're meant to be, we will meet again. So it's okay. I did thank him for everything. I mean, I did have my sweet moment with him and I'm glad that it wasn't that much but every little things did means something. So I will just cherish that. I did say that I won't consider him as my first boyfriend but I guess, for the first few month we were still together, he did his job as a boyfriend. So maybe I'll just put him as my first boyfriend. HAHAHAHA yeah, I guess I am too good for him HAHAHAHA I mean, both Nisa and sis Jaba told me that I am wayyy too good for him. Though I'm pretty much unsure about that hahahaha. It was truly an experience though.

So..... Currently I'm still trying my best to pull my shit together. I have found a few place to work honestly and now I just need to uhhh, send out my resumes or just walk in. I did send out a few and I wanna go through some of the places again like which one I should just send my resume to and which one I should just go for walk-ins. I need to plan it out nicely then at least, I would able to know which one is which hahahaha I also need to see the place, so it won't be to far for me. But so far, outlets are everywhere so it pretty easy for me to be honest. And I was just started questioning myself again today. And coincidentally, Nisa was talking about going walk-in interview with one company in our group and then I'm like if she can, I can do it too. So I told her that and she said, 'You're making me as your inspiration and now I feel like crying.' and im like sheeshusss HAHAHAHAHA you can't cry, only me can. HAHAHAHAHA xD AND she's very sensitive with my being too. Like if she sense something ain't right with me, she would directly contact me asking if I'm okay or not. Well, I am honestly blessed to have her actually hahahaha. I mean, having someone to care about you is such a rare things to have these days. I mean, other than sis Jaba, it's nice to have someone else to care ya know. I don't want to keep burden sis Jaba solely. HAHAHAHA I am a burden enough for her and plus her own shit too. HAHAHAHA i can't risk that.  I sometimes scared that I drained too much of her mental energy by telling her shit that I'm dealing with. I mean, yeah, she doesn't really mind about that but I do mind. HAHAHAHAHA I just... ya know. I don't wanna burden everyone if I could but the more I don't wanna do it, the more I kinda burden everyone HAHAHAHA.
SIGHS.
Oh well.

Welp, I guess that's all for now. I shall be back again soon. I don't know when I promise I will update again when I got interviews and shit hahahaha Wish me luck in everything though. I shall start my hunting this week and I will do my very best. YOU CAN DO IT PGIE-CHAN!

Bye bye for now!
and Stay Bless! ♥♥