The Scar That Stay Deep. Oh well ヽ(´ー`)┌

Heyyyyyoo~ Annyeonghaseyyooooo~~~
hahahaha I'm just being hyper here, maybe because of the coffee effect. miahahahaha XD
Anyway, right now, obviously. I'm seriously need to get my assignment done since it's been 2 weeks past the deadline. hahahaha I know! I'm going to be roasted alive by my english teacher if I don't send it tomorrow. hahahahaha and I think I'm the only person who haven't pass it to her. ekekeke oh well, I'm a very good procrastinator. ekeke not just that. I have tons of homework that I haven't pass to my teachers.

I don't know which should I settled first so I just let them accumulating on my table. ekekeke :) But anyway, I hope I can finish it all before study break next 2 weeks. gosh! I still have lots. But for sure, english assignment and my business communication and most importantly my P.O.M. if I can finish these three in this week, it will be my biggest achievement ever. hahahahaha and then, the last week before study break, I might try to finish my business in statistic homework and updating my FA book. save the baddest for last. hahahaha =.=
and since the final exam is here, I think I'm not going to make it this sems. hwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa (T__T) well, I do have confidence that I can pass my P.O.M, Business communication and English and my FA1 but BS~ =.= Imma gonna die. hahahahahahaha it's MATH! ME AND MATH CAN NEVER BE TOGETHER!!! >.<

well, yeah... I've mention that BS is quite easy if I study well but uh... oh well, i think i can survive it though because I have one week off before the final. so, if I'm using my study break well, I can survive it without repeating any subjects. YEAH! Pgie HWAITING!! XDD

ANYWAYY~~~~ notice my nail? HAHAHAHAHAH *showoff modes* <------- Yeah, baby~ I've painted my nail and put infinite logo on it. asdfghjkkljfjkjermvnkmk!!!! hahahahahaha Uhh... well, i'm new in being inspirit though and actually, I was thinking of doing super junior nail's art but since it was my first kpop nail art, so I decided to use the simple one first hehehei :)  but thank goodness I didn't ask for superjunior because it was the manicurist first time doing kpop nail art but seriously,  even though it was her first time, it turn out soo good!!! It is beyond my expectation! it's not so perfect like the real logo but still, it's really look so nice. Next month, me and sis Jon decided to do nail's art again and since next month is christmas month, so I'm going to do christmas nail'art. ngehehehehe :)

and uhh.... oh right! my stuff has arrived. I mean, the stuffy that my friends help me to order one. hahahahaha:) YEAH BABY!!! yesterday i received my Doraemon Bag and my Doraemon Calculator from ever so lovely ShinRuei and and I can't wait to wear it!! xDDDDDDDDDDDD it's look so damn cute!!! I'm like nsdjviwjeijfiowejigesmfk when she show me hahahahaha and and my kpop stuff is also arrived on the same day. XDDDDDDD I can't wait to get it from Shock Hui this monday YAWWW~~~ my infinite Hoodieeeeee~~~~ XDDDDDDD

That's the picture of my newly arrive stuff. hahahaha:D Anyway...
uh... my dad coming home last friday and I'm like "Um... he's coming home?" hahahaha don't ask why I have no feeling of excitement about it but yeah, I'm so freaking not excited at all. I mean, instead of excited, I'm like annoyed and irritated and something like hatred piling in me. I don't know why... but that i thought it was because of my lack of sleep on the day before. Still, until today, I still act cold on him. Of all people, I can't... I don't know, I just can't act nice ya know. Well of course he do give me money, pay for my education, buy all the stuff i ever wanted and yeah, heck I'm grateful for everything but i just still can't tolerate with him. I mean, when i heard he's home, I was suddenly recalling back the day when mum ask me the most hurtful question i ever get, "if me and dad ever split up, who will you choose to be with?"
It's... I don't know. I know it happen like 4-5 years ago but that little scar still scratching slowly deep in me. I can't let go. I mean, I still can't forgive him for doing that bullshit thing to mum. I just can't. I know he's trying hard to make it up to me but no. I need more time for this.
I mean, I love my mom more than anything else and that fucking moment, it was my very first time on seeing her crying that bad and I can't even watch it.

My brother, he done a lot of crazy stuff that make my mom broken but still i can forgive him somehow but not my dad. I don't know. I just... dislike him. Like, everything he said, done, or even just seeing him in person, I'm all like annoyed. Seriously. I can't even hide my hatred towards him. I mean, I can't go all hypocrites on him, I show him my real emotion. yeah, i'm a bad daughter eh?
I really do want to make it up with my dad but I just think I need more time to forgive and forget. hmmm.. I just can't stop this stuff, this nightmare from keep haunting me. I just need some more time.

<------- Finally I have Doraemon Pajama! XDD WeeWOOOWeeeowooooO~~~~~ When I saw this, I'm like "Erghhhhmaaaagerrrdddddddd!!" hahahahahahaha XDDD ha...... hahahahaha i'm feeling contented. hahahahahahaha XDD

and right now, I'm currently collecting Detective Conan's manga and i have until volume 10 now. hehehei and yeah, I was thinking of going to buy it later or maybe tomorrow after class though. Oh, tomorrow, I'm going to do presentation for P.O.M assignment and I haven't prepare my script yet. Oh wow! my work is adding! hahahaha oh well, I'll do it later evening. after updating this blog, I'm going to continue on my english assignment. hehehei :) wish me luck on finishing this crappy assignment. gosh! I'm having headache now. hahahahahaha XDD

Umm.. what else? uhh... Oh right! since my end year holiday is around, I was thinking of reading all my novels for that two lovely week. hehehei :) Yeah, I miss the good times when I drowned myself into the characters in the book and I might have some ideas for my story though and right now, I'm taking a short break from writing since I have to focus my ass out on this upcoming finals. Just hopefully I won't forget the story line in the future. hahahaha I'm really-really sorry for my internet best friend, le Marj because I'm pulling myself away from online-ing to much in social network. Yeah, I miss that random girl okay? hahahaha but I can't now. oh well, I'm sure she's understand about my busyness. hehehei:) i'll make it up to her on my two weeks holidays:)

on 19th, which is tomorrow... my Kyu will released his official teaser. UWJSJENFJNJENJEOKMFKJE !!!! I can't wait to watch the teaser tomorrow!!! XDDDDDD hahahahahahahaha he just too cute. haishh.... I really am wishing that I can meet him in person. even for a second. hahahahha =.= oh well, that's not gonna happen unless we're destined to be together, YEAH! XDDD
anyway, I already ordered his album yesterday and just done the payment today. I CAN'T HELP IT BUT TO ORDER! hahahahaha XD well, maybe this is my last online shopping for this year. well.... maybe.. hahahahaha I really-really hope that I won't find another cool website, sellling stuff I ever so likey. because i need to restrain myself from keep wasting money. hahahaha i mean, in only  like 4 months, I used about 15k already =.= Oh god~ help me with this. hahahahaha =.= I really-really need to control myself from buying more stuff.....
Wait... maybe after I buy the doraemon watch. HAHAHAHAHAHA seriously. I want that watch for my christmas. I'll buy it as christmas present for myself to myself. ekekeke
speaking of christmas, I can't wait for my Okumura's twins and my izaya's action figure to arrive this coming december! OMGAWWDDDDD~~~~~~~ I can't wait! like seriously!!!!!!! XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD okay enough. hahaahahahahahaha XDDD

uhh... what else? ummm.........oh right. I've been making myself busy on facebook lately and I was stalking all my long lost high school friends, All of them, just to be fair. hahahaha and I'm like "whoa... they all grown up already" and "whoa, so matured" hahahahaha I guess, I'm the only one who still haven't grow up. I mean, come on man. hahahaha girl like me, a almost 19 years old person who still watching anime, collecting mangas, playing with action figure, still playing PS2, buying junks, watching cartoons, i mean come on. I'm an extinct creature. ahahahahahaha XD sad truth. But still, at least I'm being myself though. I  know I'm not so social or have so many friends or even done some human interaction but seriously, I like this better. less people, less bullshit. hahahahaha I'm right?
then, I stalk my sis lalan fb and I'm like "whoaaaa..." she's grown up and i'm like seriously those kid in her generation especially girls, is looking like even matured than me. I mean, they all use make-up and stuff, dressing up maturily, talking about boyfriend and stuff. and going out and shopping and do all the girly stuff. I mean, they make me feel young. bwahahahahahaha XD seriously. 
for lalan case, I feel like she's now a different person. I mean, when she's with us, her siblings, she would act like "Whoa i'm retarted and childish," and then when she's with her friend she's like "muax, i'm a lady, i'm grown up, childish people, fuck off" hahahaha=.= that's what i feel. well, in fact, I feel fooled. I mean, she don't have to act all innocent when around us, she just go with her wild side. We will still accept her for who she is. Instead of being all hypocrites and be someone who isn't herself, I mean, that shit hurt. I feel like, all this time, I feel like shit. Maybe I deserve it though for being all to ever trusting her because of her innocent looking. haishh... whatever then. I can't say I don't give a fuck about this because I do. and It's hurt.
Not just lalan alone, same goes to my little pearl. I mean, she is just 13. 13 man.... and she all like 17 years old girl. hmmmm.... well, i guess new generation grow up to fast eh? Oh well, who am i to say stuff about them. I am just a person who have no life. hahahahaha XDD
and and my maturity has come to me very very slow. hahahaha

I have no more picture so yeah. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA XD 
uhh.... I have nothing else to say. hahahahahah XD uhh...  I feel like printing out kyuzizi's picture and update my journal book. hahahaha:) Yeah, that's what i feel right now. hahahahaha :) Neway, I think i shall put this post end now. I hope we'll be seeing each other again soon. Goodbye and have a nice day

P.S Let Your Smile Cover Up Your Tears :)