Another Unrequited Love Story :)


Hello, hello~ hahaha! I'm back again. YEah, well I have to catch up with deadlines to be honest but I ended up here because I got so much to tell hahahaha you wouldn't believe it but well, it's gonna be more on my current crush of course oohohohohoh XD no one know how much I'm crazy over that boy hahaha too much its frustrating when the rest of your friends wishing him to end up with your other friend. SIGHS I'm definitely sad right now but meh, I'll just keep quiet about it until I'm asked. hahaha Ahem, Anyway. So far, I've only told Lalan about my obsession about Norman Jan hahahahaha and hella, ksajfksajfksag HAHAHAHA I can't even content my bubbling feelings right now like ugh, I hate my life hahahahaha But I do hope he could sense my feelings for him since well, I'm sure capricorn are very sensitive with that kind of thing or maybe he got his gut feelings told him about my mix signals for him HAHAHAHAHA I'm HOpeless I know HAHAHAHAHA I'm crying HAHAHAHA I don't even know why I'm laughing but hella, this is just embarrassing. hajahahahaha Anyway, something happen today hehehehehehe well, nothing big actually but nghhhhhh my heart can't take this HAHAHAHAHA

Actually, today he has this presentation for public speaking (And yes, lalan is in his class too while I'm in Macro SIGHS) AND GUESS WHAT? ngeeeeeeeeeeee HE FUCKING PRESENT ABOUT DORAEMON LIKE WHAAAAAAAT?! aND YOU KNOW EVEN CRAZIER, HE ACTUALLY ASKED ME ABOUT DORAEMON LAST WEDNESDAY LIKE KSFNLSJKFJDHGKJSHRDKWJHDIUHEFIW HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA well, last wednesday. while the rest of our gang were busy talking to one another, I was busy vandalising the school property (the chair) ahahaha and he ask me like, "Draw a Doraemon," and I'm like sending a skeptical glance at him but I drew it anyway and I said like, "I can even draw doraemon with my eyes close." and he chuckles a bit and then he like, "I think I'll be presenting about Doraemon for my public speaking" AND as I'm a huge fans of that cutie bluish doraemon Oh god my eyes flew and went so big and be like, "OH MY GOD YES PLEASE! DO IT!"
 and he laughs again at my reaction ( Oh by the way, he ever mention in our group chat that he always 'love' my reaction which reallly make my heart goes dokidoki HAHAHAHA) and then he said like, "Can u tell me about doraemon then?" and I'm like *INHALED* "WELL< first thing is that doraemon teach u about science and then some of it is about life itself AND then...." I didn't have any idea because it was too impromptu and I just go with, "And how can u not love him and how cute and bluish he is and it just NGHHHHH!" hahahaha and he just shook his head Idk if he was laughing or what because i think shock hui ask me what is happening to me and I'm like nothing. hahahahaha
I actually NEVER THOuGHT HE WOulD DO ABOUT DORAEMON LIKE SERIOUSLY LIKE WHY

but I don't wanna dwell in it too much though. I mean, he could be one of the people who like doraemon just as much as i do. I mean, who doesn't love doraemon anyway? HAHAHAHA

AND AND AND another thing is that kan we got this RP class, I mean thesis and well, their class just starting a while ago and then got this one time, where we met them at Kenny's Maku store and he was doing his chapter one. and i saw him and I ask him, what is his topic and he said about gaming and i arched my brows and said like, "I did wanting to do that before but i change it to coffee shop instead. Why u choose the topic tho?" AND GUESS WHAT HE SAID,  HE FREAKING SAId, "BECAUSE You'RE A GAMEr I CAN Ask U
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I THINK I BLUSHED THAT TIME. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I HAVE THE TENDENCY TO BLUSH LIKE A LOT and then he even ask me to give him some ideas in gamer perspective. AGAIN IT WAS IMPROMPTU and all I can tell him is like, WEll gaming is good because it like make ur reflect much faster but though the good thing is there, still the bad thing about gaming is wayy alot. hahahahahahahaha I'm HOPELESS
*SIGHS*

I don't think he even noticed how much of everything he said affect me so much. GOsh, hahahahaha my heart felt clenched whenever I think like both kenny and hui2 like rooting him and ellan. hahahaha and well, with a few nods from me too. hahahaha I mean, like I keep on saying, I know where I stand and I'm pretty sure he won't like me the way I want him too THOUGH of course, I do wish he would feel the same way as I am. hahahaha but for now, i'm just too fucked up to be in a relationship so I think nah. hahahaha I'll try harder to not falling for him even harder than I have now. Gosh, I just nghhhh.. My love life is really sad hahahahaha

SIGHS
Oh right, before I forgot. hahahaha I realized that his hair is not actually black, it's a bit brownish and it's really look good on him and suit his a little tanned-skin of some sort like hell, his look will be the death of me but his awkwardness will be the one that kills me. hahahahaha and ahh, another thing too. Since today he was presenting, he was wearing something more uhh formal, white long sleeves, with black tshirt underneath and matching slacks. He looks so cool, like a megane protagonist from a shoujo manga hahahaha tall, handsome, megane character. hahahaha I'm sad HAHAHAHA because I think he doesn't like me that way hahahahahahahahaha

its hurt just hurt because i know kenny and hui2 will do everything they can to make him end up with ellan and I can't do anything. I mean, I can but it would be meaning that I'm betraying my friends right? So.... hahahahaha I'm so sad HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

BUT, honestly I'm glad of his existence though. Like the first thing I said to him on our first met, after I know he was only 4 days older than I am, "THank you for existing." hahahaha I literally said that though. ANd now, I do mean it. THank you for existing and give me the opportunity to know what love is, and that I still can feel it even when on my darkest hour hahaha. Thank you for simply waken up the girly feeling, and make waking up the butterflies in my tummy once more, at the most unexpected time. And just thank you. Thank you, Norman Jan for just simply existing in my life. hahahaha

Ahh, I almost cry. I probably cry after this so I guess that's all for now. hahahaha

Maybe after I cried everything out, I can maybe lessen the love I feel for him hahahaha though I must be honest that I do hope he feel the same way towards me ^^

Well, if it's God's will, it will meant to be :)


P.S There's always rainbow after the storms, Lel


BYE~ (>.O)


Love, Me.

Daniel James Howell grins will be the death of me xD

Ay~ I'm back. hahahaha did you realized that I've been active in here lately? Well yeah, because of the same reason of yesterday. I'm running away from responsibility HAHAHA meh, I've done my part for I.M assignment though so I'm thinking that today I don't wanna do anything, just consider today as my reward for burning the midnight oil last night hahaha seriously, I was done with everything around 3.30a.m this morning and then I continued reading Dramione's fanfic which resulting me to sleep around 7.30 or 8 something hohohoho SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK! xD
      And my Japanese class cancelled today so i feel a bit bored staying at home because it's freaking stressful since well, the usual stuff. But meh, I'm just looking forward for weekend since I can leave this house and go to where my home is, my own house, my sanctuary yer. hahaha though there I won't have any internet access but I still can played my games and even left some tabs with information i need open before I went there. So far, my mood has been increasingly positive, since the time I've started to spend more time at my home. It just make me realize that it was hella important that I need to leave the house. Bad feng shui in here hahahaha xD So, today. I think I'm gonna talk a bit about Dan Howell, AGAIN. yes. HAHAHAHA

Look at him. Just freaking look at him. He's the definition of perfection kyaaa kyaaaa hahahahaha xD Like ughhh, his existence should be illegal ya know HAHAHAHA if he's my boyfriend, I would definitely cherish him forever and just idk, lock him in the dungeon so that I can have him all by myself HAHAHAHA nah, that's too extreme. Well, I guess I'd definitely being overly cuddly with him, I mean, look at him. Gosh, how in the world would you say no to cuddling with someone like him. Gah~ and the sweater, it's so blue it's killing me softly HAHAHAHA it's not related but whatever hahaha  I honestly find that sweater is rather nice. I would wear it if Malaysia wasn't this hot.
       This bring me to this previous thought of mine where I kinda think like If I'm Dan Howell's girlfriend I would.... maybe I should do it now hohohohohoho Okay! Let's start!
*AHEM* IF I'M DAN HOWELL'S GIRLFRIEND, I WOULD:
1. Ask him 3 times a day if he really love me. HAHAHAHA Like honestly. Not that I don't believe him but it just that, it's definitely feel surreal to be the girlfriend of someone like him. Like, "Are you serious about me being ur gurl?" hahahahahaha I mean, there's zillions of other girls who are obviously, more stand out, hotter, talented from you and he choose you among those girls, like, "Are you not shitting me now?" HAHAHAHA Maybe I won't ask him 3 times a day, maybe only twice a day, morning and before bed. HAHAHAHA like in the morning, "Morning, do you still love me today?" HAHAHAHA and then at night, "You sure you're not regretting your option of making me ur girl, now?" hahahahahaha I apologize for my insecurity HAHAHAHA

2.  Second, I'm very much have this weirdness with cuddling. I'm not the type to cuddle but if it like someone I like so much, I'd definitely become the cuddliest of cuddler that ever exist hahahahaha SO, if I'm Dan's girlfriend, I might be very cuddly and playing with his hair a lot, like seriously. Look at his hair, oh my god! I just wanna mess with his hair and maybe even braid it hahahaha and put all the colorful and ribbon-ish, candy-ish hair clip kyaaaaaaa hahahhaha

3. He wouldn't have to worry about me cheating on him or maybe leaving him for someone else. hahahahahahaha like DUDE, I don't even go out from my room, especially when I got new anime to watch or drama or just bought new games to play. I'm all yours danny HAHAHAHA Just buy me those things and I'm never gonna leave you, like ever. Comparing us both, I think there are higher chances that he's the one who's gonna leave me, HAHAHAHA xD I gotta say, my loyalty game is strong. Too freaking strong that sometimes I gotten myself hurt for it hahahaha xD

4. If I'm seriously his girlfriend, I'd bake or cook him whatever he wants. I love cooking and baking. Like seriously. No kidding hahahaha but I only cook for those I care the most. So, if he happens to be my boyfriend, he'll be lucky. hahahaha I don't cook for anyone. AND also, I love learning new recipe so that's actually make me a good girlfriend and wifeu material *wink*wink* HAHAHAHAHA killmepls

5. Lastly, if I'm his girlfriend, I won't stop him from doing whatever he wants. He can go and have a sleepover with his friends as long as he wants, as long as he text or call me and tell me beforehand. hahahaha and I wouldn't even mind if he cursed a lot, like hella. Have u not heard his voice when cursing? Like it was the sexiest, at the same time the cutest voice I ever heard in my whole life. hahahahaha

SO, these are the five things I would do to him if he choose me as his girlfriend. IT JUST TOO BAD THAT WE LIVES IN DIFFERENT PLANET OH MY GOSH. hahahaha xD but oh well. If it's God's will, i'll meet him one day hahahaha just hope that he will never find out about this blog HAHAHAHA


IMAGINE his reaction is like in the gif when he stumble upon this post like kajdkasjfksdjhfksdjghsd HAHAHAHAHA I'll be damn HAHAHAHAHAHAHA I've just imagined something impossible Ughuhguhg my life is sad HAHAHAHAHA


*SIGHS dreamily* Ah, by the way. I've been thinking lately *when did i not thinking? hahaha* Um that I think I finally decided that I want to make a gaming youtube channel hahahaha well, not that I want to be famous or anything, it just sound really fun to do and I mean, like if I had the gaming channel of my own, maybe I could use it as an excuse for me to finish every unfinished games that I've been playing. hahahaha I mean, I have A LOT of unfinished games and there's so many new games I hadn't play too. But I think like maybe I won't monetize any of the gameplay I'd do because I don't want to risk it hahaha so maybe if I'm lucky and have few people subcribes to me and that they ask questions about me, then I just monetize the vlog instead. hahahaha Yeah, this is just in planning though. I have a very limited financial sources for the time being that I can't afford any capture card hahahaha so, I'll just wait for a miracle to happen or I happen to win some lottery in the future hahahaha
      For now, I'll keep it to myself ^^b. I'm no professional gamer, but I do enjoy my games. hahahaha I just feel like I need to do it. HAHAHAHA I'm trying to create a purpose for my life hahaha at least I manage to do one of my long term bucket list hahahaha AMEN, AMEN TO THAT.

I think I'll write until here for now. I shall be back again soon. Wish me luck in getting Dan Howell as my future husband HAHAHAHAHA AMEN! AMEN!

p.s: the rainbows always came after the storm.


Here's Phil cutest selfie to end this post.


Love, Dan's future wifeu xD

I think I got my ear infected ( > w < )


Hello, hello!
   I'm back again hahaha yeah well, as you can see. I'm actually running from the responsibility of finishing up my assignments hohohoho ergh, I actually can finish it in maybe 2 or 3 hours top, without stopping of course but yeah, here I am HAHAHAHA

Anyway, yeah. Just like what the title says. I think i got my ear infected ughughhgug i feel like the something blocking inside it like ya know, when the airplane went landing and shit like that, that's how its feel right now hahaha but never mind, I still can hear so, I guess it'll be okay in a few days. I probably just stressed out ahahaha.

But seriously. I mean, today in I.M class, I just found out that we need to pass up our assignment next week instead of next next week im like what the actual fuck??????? But thank God, I've done my part and it's almost done BUT, that's only the beginning of my fucked up days. I mean, In the next two week, I had to pass up 2 assignments on the same day and also in the same day, I have a presentation. I'm fucked. then by next week, I gotta passed up my Chapter Five for my Thesis and the funny thing is that I haven't even done with my chapter 2 and 3 hohohohohoh i'm just digging my own grave here and Dr. Hii want us to finish everything before April I think and I'm like Gosh, I'm so fucked. HAHAHAHAHA but oh well, I think I'll managed I mean, I always does hahahaha if I put my mind into it, then nothing is impossible hahahaha

Anyway, let's talk about something happier hhahaha Okay, so. Remember that guy I'm currently crush with? The one I mentioned in previous post, Norman Jan hohohoho even typing his name out make my heart go doki-doki hahahaha xD I'm so hopelessly in love lol kill meh HAHAHA well, nothing really happen between us to be honest, we're still as awkward as ever and only interacted whenever the groups are with us. Ugh its suck being a capricorn sometimes. YEP, he's a capricorn tooo like he's only older 4 days than I am nghhhhhhh HAHAHAHAHAHA ugh, I hate my life  HAHAHAHA But yeah, the thing is. Today I realized that he look abit like Dan Howell and I'm like heyyy~ they look a bit like in certain angle and I'm like now its all make sense. HAHAHA because he just recently cut his hair and the style is almost the same with Dan's haircut only shorter and he's a bit thinner than Dan of course but yea, they both equally cute and oh lordy. I wish i could just hug him and snuggle with him for the rest of my life HAHAHAHAHA and that's my love, is how much I fell for him. HAHAHAHA But the thing is that, since my friend Ellan, she's pretty obvious liking him and they seems to be flirting with each other and Jannie seems like giving her positive comeback and I'm like SIgHS.
        I know where I stand. I mean, I don't mean to compare myself with ellan because I honestly dare to say that I actually look better than her. HAHAHA seriously.(though I just realized that in my prev post i said she was prettier lewl) But yeah, the only thing i'm losing is the confidence to flirt with the guy I like. I would never EVER can flirt with anyone even if my life depends on it hahahahaha SO, I guess this is going to be another unrequited love of mine. I don't know how many times I've been in this situation but meh, I'm used to it actually hahahaha  though I gotta say, it's hurt me deep down when I saw them interact with each other, I shall say I'm a bit jealous and whenever they did the small interaction and shit like that, i always excuse myself or just start talking nonsense about anything with Hui2 or Kenny hahahah oh gosh. And well,
     If anything, I don't think he would like too. Like, I'm pretty much a mess. I go to school with shirts and slack, even my hair is messier than usual because of the fucked up saloon and gosh, I don't even behave like a women fgs. Seriously. I'm too childish for my own ages. NOT that I'm complaining but yeah. If I'm him, I wouldn't want to date me too
I'm kidding. I definitely date ME. hahahaha Oh well, I think I'll just try to forget him though I'm planning like if let's say that on our upcoming trip and they decided to play truth or dare (like theyve planned too) and if they happen to ask me who's im currently crushing with, I'd tell them with a grinning cheshire face, "I'm crushing hard on Norman Jan." ahahahahah IMAGINE THEIR FACES i'd like to see their reaction hohohohoho but of course, I'd tell them that I didn't say anything because I valued friendship more than anything. I mean, I've been friends with the two amoi since diploma time and well, it's obviously longer than I know Norman. So..... yeah.
     Y'know. I secretly enjoy calling him Norman instead of Jan. HAHAHAHA I don't tell anyone about it but if I get the chance, I always call him Norman like if I said something ridiculous or just nonsense and he give me that 'areyoushittingme?' look, I'll be like, "Oh, just shut up Norman." Nonchalantly HAHAHAHAHAHA ugh. I hate myself
I definitely have no luck in love hahahahaha but oh well, I'll just focus on how to love myself better for now because I surely need to learn how to embrace my flaws and be flawless. This just reminds me of this one movie called, "Teen SPirit" where the girl quoted like, "No one is confident. Confident is something you projected from within," and i'm like yea, that's really true. I'm just gonna be confident and be comfortable in my own skin. I mean, I'm obviously FLAWLESS lol HHAHAHAHA

Okay then. I shall bid you good bye for now because I need to start doing my shit so. Yeah, Bye :)

P.S: There's always rainbow after the storm lel


It's been a while I didn't fangirling over HyukMin though hahahahaha

Love, Me :)