love all their songs. i think i'm BLACKJACK because since their mini album, i love them 4! 2NE1 hwaiting!

Something Call Life.

Konnichiwa! hahaha :D its been a while.well, i do remember and i do have something to share but my bone say, No. so, i skip :D hahaha :D well, you know me, i'm lazy bump ~ hahaha. i'm having a very very long boring holiday this year as i've mention, 2010 is totally terrible year for me. i can't wait to end it soon. wheuhh~ and i'm so glad i wasn't SPM candidate for this year. if not, i may get straight F~ hahaha :D oh ho, hell yeah, i'm tension. here and there problems. whenever i'm free they always come. hate them. still, problems do teach me what life is and i learn a lot from them :D them? hahahaha :D well, i'm so damn bored right now, got nothing to do *got actually, just don't feel like doing it. :P* Right now, i'm waiting for my sis Jon and sis Ina to come back home ^^ miss them very very very very much! even its just few days its feel like urgh! thousands years!but if it really a thousand years, i'm going to be reborn, then i can meet them back hahahaha :D if, i have the chance to be reborn. hahahaha :D you know what i mean.

oh yeah, i just bought black rims spec. wuhuu! dream come true. originally, it was a sunglasses but i took out the glasses and make it like that *like in the pics* nice kan? make my eyes look even bigger than usual. ekeke :D i love it. i bought 2, this one and another one is white, but not really suit me and i don't really like it. hehehe :D i want to say sorry to my mum for already wasting money buying the other one but didn't use it. sorry mum! mianhaeyo! Oh yeah, i still have a tons of homework that waiting to be done but i don't have guts to do it. i think i'm going to start doing it next week. ohohoh hopefully, my dear. if not, next year i'll be deadmeat for i guarentee next year, all the teachers will be as fierce as a monster and even some of them would have the ability to change into hulk or worst T^T. no playing year. urgh! i already feel the pressure, NOT! hahahaha :D  and i have visited my friend blog, err, YunQian blog. i read her post and there she talked about future and she also mention that she already old enough and it is her time to think about her future. after i read that post, i realize, i'm going to be old too. SOON! i don't like it but i have no choice, like it or not, i'm gonna be old one day. talk about future. what is my future? to be honest, i don't even act maturely and i still don't know what field i want to study after high school graduation. hmm..hmm..i don't know for i never think about my future. all i do this time is dreaming to be a good korean celebrities. now i realizw, i've waste 16 and half years of my life with something that can't guarentee my future. i'm wondering, what will i be? what job will i have? what i want to be? what? what? what? haiya. so many what! and if i don't know what, then how the hell i know how to achieve it? urgh! i'm so useless. i'm useless daughter. i feel guilty to my parent for they give me a very high expectation. 

haiz! i can't stop sighing. hahaha :D for sure, i want to do something that can make my parent happy and proud to have me as their daughter as now, it look like i am their only brother? still haven't change. always being the hateful big brother. yeah, i do hate him but still he is my brother. i forgive him but i won't forget what he did to mum and dad. every night he call mum and asked for money. last night, they fight again and i heard it all but i pretend i didn't hear a things. whenever i think about their fight, my heart feel like being crash by two big truck from both side. so hurtful, hateful.. oh well, just need to be patience right? that what i'm doing right now, be patience. i believe, one day, everything is going to be okay ^^. just hope for the best :D

well, i want to use this opportunity to talk about my besties. first is prudence. well, i realize she change a lot after couple with Christyan. i don't know but i can feel it. something really different change in her. my heart keep saying it to me. well, maybe i'm too sensitive. hahahaha :D as long as she didn't forget and betray me, that enough ^^ and valerie? i haven't see her face to face, still i have contact her through facebook. ehehe :D glad she did not lost contact. if she did, i'm going to ambush her facebook every minute. hahaha :D neah, not going to do that. Fiona? she is in her own world right now. hahaha :D she found her love. his name is Freddy Yaw. hahaha :D just kidding, facebook name, Freddy Raw. hahaha :D well, they match each other. that boy seem nice and if he  dare to broke my precious Fiona's heart, i will crash him and slice his body into 1000 pieces. Huh! hahahahaha :D its a metaphor actually. if he hurt fiona, i will confront him and tell him that he lose something precious and very hard to find. yepp :D its true. tinna? she's fine i think. just having boring holiday as bored as mine. hehehe :D i keep seeing her posting on facebook telling bored, bored and bored. haiz, tinna. i know how you feel. hahahahaha :D clock is ticking and keep ticking can't be pause nor stop, can't wait to see my cherish sisters to come home XD i'm so excited!!

phoebe is really gone. i miss her badly. i can't stop thinking about her. did she eat well? does her mother treat her right? is she happy? this question keep playing on my mind. i just can't stop thinking about her. i don't know why, maybe she just to valuable. well, of course she doesn't know that. i never told her. hahaha :D ah, this christmas, my cousin from Labuan will come and celebrates christmas here together with us. everyone will come except for Phoebe i think. but i really hope she could join us. if she really coming back, i won't scold her or say anything to her, but i will hug her and beg her for not to leave anymore. i don't want our sisterhood chain broken. it is enough we lose one of us. and honestly, i miss sis Chyi even how nasty she is, she always be my sister because we still have blood ties. sometimes i wonder, why they leaving? aren't they feeling lonely after leaving? talk about leaving, i think sis Inut and sis Jaba is leaving me too. for sis Inut going to follow her boyfriend stay in KK when her boyfriend officially stay and work there later on. sis Jaba, of course will go with her. sis Ina, already leave. sis Jon, going to leave soon. everyone that in really care is leaving soon. even my dearest Val is leaving, and my respectful madam Suriati also leaving. eventhough they still here with me, i can feel that my heart is empty. i wish we can be together forever but i have no right to that that, right? its all in His hand. its true, people come and then leave but God make them leave because He have His reason, right? just that, we don't know. Honestly, i really love my family and my friends. i cherish them all and they are my most valuable things in my whole life.

love one? neah... i really don't want to talk about it anymore. i want to stop. if i don't stop, i will totally losing my merits to enter university and make my parent proud. haha! thats it, HyukMin malaysia, i want to forget you dear. thank you for making me falling in love again. love it and now i know how it feel to be stalker. LOL XD got experience already! hahaha :D and to my HyukMin korea, i love you still baby. hahaha :D don't you worry, just worry about your position and keep praying that you'll stay in my top 5. hahaha XD just kidding :P i'm not that crazy la. he don't even know me, how can i tell the world that he is mine, Duh! pathetic! hahaha :D so, i guess that is all i want to share. uh! i think this is the longest post that i ever post here :D hehehehe :DD

so, i guess, be seeing you guys next time :D Adieu >..0

whoa :D so big! LOL XDD my my, when i can meet him?. agagagagaagga *mr.crab laugh*
and here i got another short poem :D

you're eyes are shining bright
brighter then the twinkling stars
your smile is sweeter than sugars
melts my heart every time its beating.

-to my deares Kang Hyuk Min-
Chuwahae! SarangHae! hahaha :D

Bad Person

I am not a good person
I hurt those I love
I seek for attention when they down
I can’t even read their real expression

I am not a good person
I don’t understand what they going through
I mess up with them and make their life worst
I was never there when they need me

I am not a good person
I never notice their broken heart
I never seek for the pieces
I never try to glued them back

I am not a good person
I never wipe their tears
But I am the one who brought them to tears

I am the worst
I don’t deserve the best
But still I never want to be ignored
For I am afraid to be alone

Walking through the dark path of life
Never was easy to be done
I’m desperate to find the light
So, I hurt them and took their light

I made a mistake
I darken their path to lighten mine
I was so selfish back then
But now I realize
Still it just too late
For I can’t turn back time
And give back their light

Even they forgive my selfishness
It makes no differences
For I can’t erase the things I’ve done
And I’m going to be a bad person for the rest of my life.