My Life is Hell But One Day I'll Turn It To A Paradise.

But the things is....

I was never fine
I was never okay
I always lied to you
and I lied to myself too
I thought I am fine
But the truth I'm bleeding so hard inside
I can't barely breathing
I'm going away soon
I decided soo
Now, I need you to help me out....

Understand all this fucking stuff that keep happening to my life?
I wish I had the gun and blow my head so my brain will colored the wall
I hate this fucking life
Everything keep falling apart
I try to be happy
I want to live normal
But I guess being normal is nothing but a lie
When i feel normal, I'm fucking delusional
Everything is fake
But now I see
I'm decided to leave this fucking world
But still I have something make me stay
Someone who keeps me going
My parent keep me moving on too
I never was strong to face all this shit
But I pretended to be
So I can be my mum's strength and keep her going......
if I lost this people one day
Then, I welcomed you to my funeral

Dear God
Give me more strength
I want to fight
I don't want to lose in this game call life
I have my rights
Those shit aren't the one who should end me.
I should end myself
Even the devil himself don't have the rights to end me
For I know that God is the one who hold my souls
I'm belong to Him and no one else.
So, it's Him only who can end me.
I am blessed with his endless love
I'm full of His grace...
I have purpose in life and I know it
I won't let those bastard to end me 
I will keep on fighting
I will fight till the last breath I have inside
I know God is there with me
So, I'm not afraid at all.
Nothing can stop me
with God,
I am Strong even when I'm weak...