It's Just Life

I Never thought that my blog title would have songs. hahaha :) I was randomly searched for it and I found this song by Ricki Lee ( I have no idea who is this) hahaha :) But the song is quite cute too :) Unfortunately I can't find the original version in Youtube. Still, the cover is cute too ;) So, enjoy and sing a long if you know the song :)

its just life
cant say its wrong cant say its rightbut i know that I'm living this thing called life, now that I've come and found my way i know where exactly I'm going today, i used to worry 'bout what they would say but now i don't worry i just walk away and smile, i don't really need your opinion about how i

had to break away so that i could fly, i have seen the rain and the sunshine, stumbled through the darkness to make me wise. had to climb the wall i was hiding behind to open up my eyes and find that even the mistakes weren't a waste of time. its just life.

there was a time i couldnt see who i was or what i could be, i took a hold of somebody's hand they helped me see exactly who i am, clear all the smoke and turn down the lights thats who you are without all the hype. open the curtain and ill take the stage and ill show you all that I'm not afraid.

had to break away so that i could fly, i have seen the rain and the sunshine, stumbled through the darkness to make me wise. had to the wall i was hiding behind to open up my eyes and find that even the mistakes weren't a waste of time. its just life.

nobody's born with the answers to life show me someone who always got it right show me the light and ill figure it out. hey, don't feel that you have to face it alone, you cant live this thing called life all on your own. first we're all blind but in time we will see the beautiful colors of life.

i had to break away so that i could fly, i have seen the rain and the sunshine stumbled through the darkness to make me wise. had to climb the wall i was hiding behind to open up my eyes and find that even the mistakes weren't a waste of time. its just life.its just life.yes, its just life.come on yeah, yeah, its just life.sing it, sing it, sing, its just life.its just life.
P.S Let Your Smile Cover Up Your Tears

I'm Not The Happiest Person and I May Lost If There Is No God In My Life :)

Greeting Humanoid.
Yeah, I know.
It's been a while I didn't update my blog. Hehehei, I'm pretty busy on the weekday now. Yeah and this is just for the starter. Gonna be even busier in the future but not really care about it though. It's all just the same for me. Everyday is shitty day, and it's going to be even shittier. hahaha :) Trust me, I'm laughing right now. Not really haha-ing just mute one. hahaha :)
And yeah, I've change by blog theme :)
From colorful to Black and White. It's cute right? I KNOW! I'm fell in love with it! hahaha :) And I feel even calmer looking at it. It's much more of Me and the background song, as usual. Still random. hahaha :D Just that, subtract the rock and screamo song. hahaha :) as I seriously needing an upbeat song for myself. hahahaha :) Yeah, completely feeling depressed today. Not just today actually, I think almost everyday :) But I never mention it here as lots of humanoid know my blog. hahaha :) But not today. because I've changed my blog URL hahahaha! and the only person I tell is of course, one and only Jaba :)
Well, actually I don't want to tell people about how my life has been. It's my life and they have nothing to do with it :) And I don't want them to think that I'm exaggerating about stuff and making stories about my life so that I would get empathy from people. No, I'm not doing that. hahaha :) If I can, I don't want to write anything bad that happen in my life in here. IF, I can handle it emotionally. hahaha :) If I can, I just want to write about the beautiful memories I had and have everyday. But if I do, then maybe I would updated my blog like 2 or 3 weeks. hahahaha :) if you know what i mean. ehehei :)
Yeah, if I'm an Emo person or Drama Queen, I would tell here that I'm the most unfortunate person for having this kind of shitty life but thank God, I'm not any of that. hahaha :) You would be bored if I'm them. ehei :) I'm pretty optimist kind of girl, ya know. I always keep smile on my face no matter how much my heart breaks. I always find a way to make myself happy or laughing. Yeah, I do laughing by myself a LOT. hahaha :) And I'm thanking 9Gag as well for helping me laughing a lot. hahaha :) Not forget to awesome Twitter Account :)

If I'm feeling deeply depressed you can easily tell :) When I joked a lot or laughing real hard, that's mean I'm in the high level of depression. hahaha :) And if I'm just snorting or maybe chuckling, that's mean I'm normal and calm. hahahaha :) yeah, I'm observing myself. But still, I'm not pretty sure if that is correct. Ya know, I'm bipolar. hahahaha :) It change every second :) I guess that's enough about me. I'm talking to much about myself, no? hahaha :)

So, yeah. Today is somewhat um... how to say this. Quite normal. For me. hahaha :) If you were me, you would broke to tears on the spot but me, I'm immune. So, no worries :) As usual, my brother taking the shitty stuff again, yelling at my mum, blaming my little Chubby for barking at his friends, asking for 200+ ringgit but bring home nothing, bringing groups of 4 to 5 strangers home which continuously different everyday... My life is pretty nice, no? haha :) Now I feel like living with strangers or more like living in rental house. hahaha :) yeah, everyday different people coming in :D I'm sometimes really scared to be in the living room when I knew there would be bunch of strangers went in. My life is pretty insecure but I trust God. He kept me going :) I know that He is looking after me and He send his angels to guard me every night and day, walking by my side to keep me from any danger. So, I'm not really scared though :) Honestly, if I don't believe in Heaven and Hell, I think I probably has performed Voodoo or maybe I already kill my brother. hahahaha :) But yeah, I don't like to be a sinners, Sinners suck! hahaha :) I always wanted to kill him, I know I've sinned in this matter for thinking of killing my own brother. hahaha :)

And if without God in my life, I would probably had commit suicide for long time ago. I would hang myself out right after everything becoming even troublesome and hard to handle or maybe I would already slit my wrist like an Emos often do when they depressed. Heh, Emos. Or maybe I would be a wild girl, going out every night, clubbing and drinking alcohol to 'ease' the pain. hahaha :) which I knew completely that is utter bullshit :) So, I'm really thankful that I know God and having God to take of me.
Ya know, this past 2 years, I broke to tears like almost every night. But yeah, you know in the day I keep smiling hard and pretend nothing happen. hahaha :) Even few years before this, I'm feeling the same thing too. Especially when my parent almost separated last time ( thank God, they are okay now ) I was lost and I don't know what to do and how to get back on track. I never told my parents about this hahaha :) But I guess, they saw me crying. Oh, what the hell? They deserve to know how scarred I am because of them. hahaha :) I was younger that time ;) ehehei :) But yeah, maybe because God really are loves me as He always do, everything started to be okay. Then, I was busy with my school life and even sometimes, I forgot to pray before bed and I'm started to not going to church. Then, everything bad happen to me again. hahaha :) Like now, having highly positive drug brother is scared the shit out of me and I'm even cussing real bad nowadays. hahaha :D You know, I started to cussing around like it was just some everyday words since the day my brother breaks my mum's heart and I kept seeing her teary eyes. Yeah, and I cussing all over even in real life sometimes, without me noticing it ( until my friends told me or just gasped ) hahaha :) Whenever I'm cussing, I feel stronger and its help a lot reducing the pain inside me but of course I know its SO freaking wrong. hahahaha :) So, yeah, I'm thinking to stop cussing. hahaha :) besides, i'm immune with all the freaking shit things that keep happening to me. Hehei :) Relax~

Not just my brother who is haunting my head, also my future. As my parent really doesn't allow me to fulfill my childhood dream, I'm kind of rebelling about furthering my study. hahaha :) yeah, I wish I just could get out of this house sometimes. But when the reality hits me, I would tell myself "if I'm out from this house, who would take care of mum and dad? the Zombie in the room? Oh Puhlease" hahaha :) Yeah, I'm their only hopes so I guess I just stick to their plans and maybe one day I would do my best to fulfill mine. Relax~ I'm still young. hahaha :) I was thinking, maybe I'm gonna take Accounting courses. Yeah, it's easier, I think. hahaha :) and then I would getting a job and then If I got enough money, then I'll go for my childhood dream :) I've been thinking about this lately and yeah, I'm feeling a bit depressed as well. ahahaha :) I don't know how to described what I really feel inside, it just to broken up. hahaha :) can't be fixed anymore but yeah, I'm gonna keep it holding on as long as I can and If I can hold it forever, then forever it is :) I just can't stop feeling miserable ya know but I'm pretty sure that everything happens for a reason and God have plans something for me though. My life isn't that bad if I look at the bright side. I have everything I wanted, families, loves, money (haha) gadgets, foods, drinks, friends, music. hahaha :) My life is somewhat almost perfects. I just need to look at the bright side of it and keep moving on. Leave all the bad stuff behind, ignored all the negativity and keep holding on.

And in conclusion, I don't even know what I'm talking about. hahahahahahahahahaha :D Yeah, reality just knock my head just now and I was like "What the hell that I just typed?" Hahahahahaha :D sorry if this post had no sense. But I'm random and you aware of that. hahahahahaha :D about chapter 8 Levedad Little Adventure, I guess its going to be done tomorrow along with 2 chapters from Saving Chrystella Mclaren :) Oh YEAH! hahahahaha :)
And last but not least from me, I was waiting for Jaba to start our conversation in Google talk. So I just left my google talk online but Nope :) she didn't even bothered to hit the chat. *sighed* maybe she just busy though :) Well, reason I did this is because I feel like an annoying person. Actually, like seriously I'm always scared to be the first one to start the conversation as I don't really want to bother her doing stuff she's doing ( whatever the stuff is ) But if I don't she never bother, like I've said. We won't have any conversation. So, I'm thinking, maybe all this time I'm disturbing her concentration in doing things she like. I'm just freaking annoyed her. HAHAHAHAHA :) who knows, maybe she just getting bored and maybe sometimes pissed as I'm always making the chatbox popped up and distracting her. hahahaha :D I'm pretty good in distracting people though. So, I guess I just stop :(

So, Phoebe has already come and I have no privacy anymore. hahahahahahaha :) So, to end this post, enjoy my two children's picture :)

Introducing Rakael the Rabbit and Kaymie the Kitty Cat :)
So, Adieu :)

P.S Let Your Smile Cover Up Your Tears :)