Konbanwa~ hahahaha as promised, I'm back again. wahahaha and yes, today is pretty lousy day for me but pretty cool since I only have 1 and half hour class weee! BUT tomorrow, I'll be at school whole day since I have two class, morning and evening. *sighs* and today also, I've won my first victory in class; in teamwork I mean. I said what I think is right and the other member agreed with me and now we're doing the assignment in our way. Since the appointed leader seems to be clueless what is teamwork means. like he want to do everything first and then distribute it to each one of us so we can check it. I mean, dude, it's teamwork. Teamwork means that everyone gotta do their part and then we can check each other's work. *sighs* But yeah, I'm very happy that he finally not opposing the idea. Like seriously. hahahaha haaaaaa.... It's been a while i didn't feel this good. hahaha :3 Usually, I don't speak out but yeah, I'm doing it for the good of my other teammates too. I know they're not comfortable with the idea of him doing everything for the assignment and plus, the guy should be very aware that it's a group work and not individual work.
Oh, by the way. I haven't told you that I'm now a degree student. hahaha unbelievable eh? Like almost every single post I've wrote in here is about me opposing the idea of taking degree under business but here I am! hahaha :3 officially a degree student. But I'm not taking Account and Finance anymore and yes, I've change my course into International Business. My mom know about it but I don't think my dad realized it since he keep on saying that I should pass and be accountant one day. I'll be just like meh, whatever dad. wahahaha :3 I mean, even if I told him that I'm taking IB, it's not that he's gonna listen to me and it's just giving me more stress. I'm stressful enough already and I don't wanna make it badder. hahaha So, I'll just keep it as a secret and if they really want me to be an accountant, I'll just take the ACCA level outside.
And ummm, Oh right! I'm actually going to have my midterm next week and I want to score in that test. I should be studying right now and I am having the urge to study hahaha :3 but I just want to update this blog for a while and I need my bath. So I can do my homework with more fresh feelings. hahahaha and ah! next weekend, there's going to be MACGcon in town in which the cosplay competition will be held. Not taking part but I'm excited to wear my costume. I'm going to be Psyche Orihara Yay! and speaking of Psyche, I've ordered his headphone from some chinese website called Taobao with the help of my chinese friend, ShockHui. hahaha and there's so many cosplay stuff and anime stuff oh my god. I just can't. I even bought Noiz cap kehehehehe
Other than becoming cosplayer, I was also thinking of continuing my goals of becoming ulzzang wannabe. hahahaha I mean, yeah.I just need to work on my self-confidence and learn not to care too much of what people gotta say about how my fashion sense is since my idea of fashion is more towards Japanese and Anime so it's pretty weird for people in Miri. hahahaha There's not many otaku or those who knows anime around here so it's kinda bit disappointing hehehe :3
I'm currently watching Thor: the Dark World. Well, not exactly watching it. I just turn on the tv and here I am. hahahaha :3 I want to take a bath and then going to do my homework. And tomorrow, I'll just need to pass up. Yep, I shall do my best this year since it's degree and I have no time to play around. Wait! Scratch that. I do have time to play and I need my play time too it just that I need to keep them balance. Yep, that's true. I just need to keep my work and play mode in balance.
For this semester, I'm going to have 8 weeks holiday and I was thinking of getting a part-time job for the whole 8 weeks. At least I'm going to have some pocket money for myself right? It's pretty embarrassing to ask money from my mom even though she doesn't really complaint about it but still, I'm a grown up and it's pretty embarrassing hehehe :3 So, I just want to have my own money and dude, I can have some working experience too ya know. hehehe :3 So, I've told Lalan last time that if she's going to have a part-time job for the holiday, I told her to tell me as well.
Other than that, Um...... what else?
ummm...... Oh I decided to not dwell to much with negativity and will never give up no matter how much life pushing me down. It's because this one quote from otomegame in which it says like;
"He won't push you down the cliff if he doesn't believe that you can climb back up to the top" and I'm like true, true. hahahaha so, in my case, He is of course referring to our Father in heaven. It's true right? it's like God will never put you through something you can't.
So, it's pretty good quotes and it's make me realize that, no matter how rough my day is, there's always something good happen after that. It's like God just want me to learn from those mistakes I made and survive my dark phase. hahahaha yeah, I've been in my dark phase for too long now and I want to swim through it. I'm done giving up and I want to move on.
I'm sure this life will get tougher but bring it on! hahaha Just kidding. I just have to fight this self-harm thing first before I move to the next level. hahaha :3
Haa~ I know you guys miss my pretty face hahahaha :3 but this was my old pic. Um, not so old but yeah, it's like last month pic to be exact kehehehe. I miss my long bangs *sighs* Oh well, it's pretty long too nowadays but the only problem is now that my hair is zigzag-ing *sighsss* i wanna straightened it again. hahahah and dyed my hair ashbrown wahahaha and then I can cosplay as Eren or some other character that have brown hair yay! hahaha :3
Okay. enough. Speaking of cosplay, I was thinking of cosplaying lots of character like, like from naruto, karneval, SNK, K-On hahahaha I Knoww~!! but it just the matter of money and confidence actually. *sighsss* hahahaha oh well, I'll just do it slowly. hehehe well, not that I'm gonna cosplay as the character directly. I'm just wanting to have their uniform as my possession hahaha and if I die, at least I can write in my last statement that I want to be buried while wearing SNK uniform. At least it's gonna make me die as a warrior hahahahaha :P
Speaking of dying. There's one time, I was thinking of slitting my wrist deeply but something hold me back. I don't know what it was but it's like suddenly my brain goes blank and I ended up cutting my upper wrist and continue my shower and pretend it never happen. hahahaha and the suicide thought comes and goes but it's not as often as it use to be. I guess I'm pretty okay now.
And ah, I've just tried to draw some random anime character just now but I didn't finished it since I lost my confident in drawing hahahaha and I feel like, why do I even bother drawing? I can't even drawing it right. I don't have the talent and shit like that. But I really want to draw so badly. I guess I need more practice but then, no matter how many times I practice, I can't seems to make any progress. *sighss* hahahaha oh well, I guess I don't have that talent naturally like people often said to me. I'm just a wannabe mangaka. hahahaiwai.
Maybe that's why God show me this path towards business. Maybe because He knows that I'm not talented enough to pursue my childhood ambition and bring shamed to the entire clans. hahahaha Haaaaa *sighs* I'll just make drawing as my hobby from now on.
SO, that's all for now. I want to take my bath and do my homework. Yosh! byebyebee
Let Your Smile Cover Up Your Tears (>__0)v
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