Can't Handle It! Everything Seem Completely Wrong :(

AnnyeongHaseyo, everyone :) today is another day I write my blog. yeah, I've been very busy lately as i have to attend the extra classes and the song practices. i really need rest for this weekend. hopefully nothing can stop me from resting. Urgh.. i feel so tired this week, i always going home late like 4p.m. Neomu Apayo :( hahahaha. well, its only for this year right? yeah. Next year i'm going to rest after SPM result come out, there i'm going to further my study. Huh, hopefully i really can further my study to foreign university, AMEN. hahaha :) Oh, SPM is 4 month ahead and i haven't done any revision yet. How to do revision if i haven't done my homework? ha? ha? tell me.. hahaha :D anyway its all my own fault de. I should discipline myself and put homework as my priority before i done anything unimportant like, Blogging. hehehei. I really do want to stop myself to prioritize anything that is not related to SPM but i just couldn't. Actually i can but i just can't help it :(

Oh, its raining, thundering outside. so badly. to be honest, i don't really like thunder even though i love rainy days. hahaha :) yeah, right now i should be scare but i'm not because i know that i'm protected by His blessing towards me. hehehe :) i love HIM for always be there and protect me from every evil. Ah, talking about evil. Yesterday my stupid brother gone mad because mum wasn't at home. i don't really know about it but for sure he really mad at mum. To be honest, i don't think he can scold mum for not being at home because mum is the one who gave him money, shelters even shirts. even how much mum cry, she always pray for his safety. I don't understand why he being so rude towards mum. doesn't he ever felt the love that mum always gave him since he was brought to this world? I just don't get it. even both of my parent care more about him than me. Actually, i am the one who suppose to be mad at this house as i'm just invisible here. Well, I'm glad though for not becoming crazy like him. hahahaha :) well, i'm so mad, hate, angry, dislike him right now. whenever i think about what he done to mum, i can't take it. i just pissed. i'm clueless. what more he want mum to give him? he had more than enough. even i think millionaire's son won't have the easiest live like he had. he don't even go to work. all he do is sleep then ask for money, bringing his friends home to hang out till dawn. then mum gives him enough food and then he scold mum. DUH! i just don't understand. Well, maybe that because he needs that thing so much. i mean, the drugs. Yes, i suspected him to involved in drugs. even my intuitive strongly say YES. My Lord, can you please tell me if my intuitive is right or wrong. I just demand for an answer.
     And to be honest, i sometimes wished my brother to die. haha :) i'm so bad eh? i know. but that only when i pissed off lah. sometimes i wonder, why can't i have normal family like my friends does? why must i have this kind of complicated family and troublesome brother? these are one of the reason why I don't want to grow up. growing up making you notice what you never notice when you are young. When you're young, you don't really care whether you hurting other's feeling or what happen at your surrounding. all you care about is your friends and the games you're about to play. I miss that childhood stuff. hmm...hmm.. whether i like it or not, i have to grow up right? i have no other choice. so, i think i better be calm and try not to mix my personal problems and school problems together. if not, i'm going to be dead-meat and have no future. LOL :D

Another thing that i am so worry about is of course, SPM. i wonder, will i ever make it? can i get the best mark ever or can i get straight A+ for my SPM? well, it only 4 month left. what can i do in this 4 month? for sure i don't know what i should do. hahaha :) i'm blur to death. eishh! i wish i never been this stupid. i just knew that Science subject is the most important subject to pass if i want to further my study and Tett, i failed every single science subjects that i took. LOL XD very funny. Chemistry and Mathematics, I have a bit progression i think. the problem now is Biology, Additional Mathematics and Physic. GAH! i'm so blur on what to do. how can i pass the science subject if History is already that hard for me to get A? i don't know what to do. no one is able to help me now unless i want to help myself. So, i really make up my mind that i want to do revision on this coming month of July. I really really really should revise or maybe do some practices. practice make perfect, right? so, that is what i'm going to do. then, we'll see whether in third trial later on, do i have progression or my grades are getting worsen. Ugh! hopefully not going to be worsen. hahaha :) i'm so scare and nervous. I may look relax, but inside, i'm trembling. hahaha :) haishh.. i started to feel sleepy lah. i don't knowlah.. because just now i thought of doing my homework after i update my blog but i guess today is not the day because i still can feel the tiredness. eishh.. tomorrow going home late again. I got Chemistry's extra classes and so do the song practices. Haizh..

I guess, that is all I want to tell for now. I want to rest my body a bit before i fell sick and miss one day of school. if i miss even just for 24 hours, i know that i miss many stuff. hehehe. i don't want to be the Blitz. ekeke :) so, see you guys in my next post. hehehe. annyeongiGaseyo! and sweet dream~
so, to end this post, i end it with Yu Ha Min's New picture :) ENJOY!

P.S : Let Your Smile Cover Up Your Tears :)