Part 14: I'm Just Too Coward.

Heyy again :) 
Well, i guess i'm right about being the worst. Haha... *sighs* now everyone hates me. I know i deserve it but then, it just painful you know. Haha... I really didn't mean to leave or whatever. The reason i was going away from the internet, tumblr or even chatting is because i don't want them to dwell with my negativeness. *sighs* well, it doesn't matter now. I mean, its my fault for not telling and explain to them beforehand. I'm just the worst people of all. Heh. Maybe, well I can't even forgive myself you know. I hurt soo many people and its all because of my stupid breakdown. I hate it. I hate being so weak that now i'm being the reason everyone i care about is hurting. Ironically, those people i hurt were a group of people that would be the last i would hurt. But then, well... Heh.

I guess all i'm good at is hurting people. Its seems like it the only things im good at. Wait, no. Thats the first, the second thing im good at is being a burden. Yeah, i still not over the fact that im being adopt is just a burden for my parent. Its true what? I know lots of people would agree with me in this.  Like i said, i'm just the worst. 

I really really hate myself right now. I wish in brave enough to kill myself hahaha... I just want to get off from everyone life because all i ever do to them is hurt them. No matter how many times i apologizes, it will not going to change the facts that i hurt them so much. I'm.... I hate myself even more right now. I won't blame them if they ever hate me from now. I deserved it. I deserve all the hates.  I'm just the worst. 

And yeah, my scar adding up today. I just feel that i deserve some punishment for what i've done. Yeah, i just want to cut right now but no matter how many time i slit my wrist, it just didn't satisfied me. I deserve to be punished more than that. Because im just the worst. The most bad person ever. The baddest friend, the baddest sister, the baddest rp partners. Just simply the worst of the worst.

"Every scars that I drew were always meant to bleed. It's to show that how fucked up I really am,"