I'm Bend and Close to Broken.

There are so many times I feel fucked up
Feeling the anger bubbling up
Making me feel hatred towards anything, everything
I don't wanna hate
Hate is such a strong words
I don't ever wanna hate
Hate is making me fell into pit of anger

I can't even control it anymore
Losing my temper is the last thing I wanna do
I would hurt everyone that around me
This anger is the one that bring death to me
I'm defeated by this anger of mine
I wish I never have this emotion.

I'm tired of hurting people
I'm tired of being left behind
I'm tired of being blame
I'm tired of being hatred
I'm tired of misunderstanding

My dearest best friends
I don't think it will leave me soon
I feel so fucked up
Everyone seems to hate me secretly
Shoving all the blame on me
Or making me feel like I deserved all the blame

I just want to fade away
I just want to feel better
I just want to stop faking my real emotion
Was it too much to ask?

I lost myself once again
I'm sorry I can't stop myself any longer
I'm fallen deeper than yesterday
This time I don't know when I'll be back again
For this hole seems too deep
and its slippery and stiff for me to hold on

I'm sorry I lose control
But I have reasons that I can't tell
Reasons that I don't even realized why
I'm sorry I'm so fucked up
I'm not strong enough to stop
Everything just triggering me

Every drop of blood I shed
Will constantly make me feel at ease
The pain I felt on my skins
Is nothing than the pain I kept inside me
I just want to release my pain
So please
Please understand me
This may not the best way
But for me
It's the only things
That could ever
Make me feel like
I'm in control
of my own emotion

Don't mind the scars
Don't mind the blood
Don't mind the pain
I wish I could cry easily
Expressed myself openly to everyone
But I just can't
and that just me
I'm bend and close to broken.
If you hear me scream
Please save me