♥ Welcome 2018! ♥ [ Part One ]

Helloo 2018! hahaha yeah, I've been MIA since April last year. Wow! There's so many things happen though. We're so going to have a long entry today hahahaha Still, that's depends on my focus level because well, we all know how quick I am getting distracted by something else lol (≧∇≦) And soo, before I get into it, I wanna start this post with a short wishes that I have for this new year of 2018. This year, I believe that it's gonna be my year of spreading my wings and the year where I'm going to bloom like a fresh flower in the field of greens. YER. Because why? Because this year is the Year of the Dog and it's the year where I'm born. So this will be my year! I won't wish that life will get easier for me but I wish for physical and mental strength so I can overcome whatever shit that will coming in my way. I wish for prolong health for both of my parents and endless joy and blessing for the rest of my family. I wish repentance for my brother and hoping that he'll find his way back to the right path. I wish nothing but the most best things for my dearest little Shawny and hope that this year will be the year where he will be able to study and learn a lot to become a better person and show potential that he too, can learn as well as the other kids. As for my friends, I also hope that this year will bring them lots of happiness and that they will too, find courage to be able to do whatever things they wanna do. For my bro (the one and only bro meow (≧∇≦) ) I wish you everything that I've wished for others because you deserve all of it and more. And as for my love life, I hope that this year I would find someone lol xD Well, not that I reeeaaalllly want to have a boyfriend. I want, but not really (not particularly need one so...) HAHAHAHA I'm just saying that I'm ready for a new set of love since I already blessed with the love of family and the love of friendships, which is truly wonderful, to be honest. And well,... I do have a candidate but I'm just not sure that he could be the one for me because well, I never been in love before so I'm putting my trust in God because I believe He'll find a great guy for me as well as for my families. So, that's my wishes for this year of dog. hahahaha Okay, so. Let's get started!

And so, I gotta say that 2017 was the year where the happiest and the saddest things has happened to me. Sounds like the cliche quote from Pinterest, right? HAHAHAHA I KNOW! but then it's true though. There's so many things happen in 2017 and it's completely overwhelming. I still feel surreal about some things that has happen. I'm still questioning myself every now and then, was it real? did I really went through that event? hahaha yeah, but bad or good, it all true and I've went through it all. Oh by the way, my birthday is four days away lol xD

Okay, first event after April 2017 lol. Around May... If I'm not mistaken... I went to Hakken's birthday party and the huge coincidence was, during the time, I was super addicted to this game call Mystic Messenger and guess what the theme was? YESSS!!! MYSTIC MESSENGER And HE or SHE * yeah, Hakken chama is a shee U.U * but it's okay tho HAHAHAHAHAHA AND AND Hakken chama is Jumin HAn!!!!!! He look super wowsome and I remember how nervous I was when I ask for a picture with him like Kyaaaaaaahhhhh ♥♥♥♥ HAHAHAHAHA and because my hands were super shaky that time, he hold the phone for me, I feel like my heart almost explodes LOL HAHAHAHAHA and the funny thing about the party celebration is like for the whole time of the party, Hakken-chama and the rest of the cosplays were like mostly talking to me and sis Jaba though we're pretty sure that we were the loudest and the most annoying guest that coming into the party. Well, sis Jaba not so much since she has limited life battery that time. It was me. It was  all me who were hyperactive and shit HAHAHAHAHA but meh, whatever! I had my fun HAHAHAHAHA but seriously, it was so beyond my imagination that I meet him right after I posted on this blog about how much I wish he's my boyfriend and that I would meet him in real life like klsjafkweshfkjwehfwe and by now and then, whenever I left a comment on him videos or pictures, he always reacted to it. I wonder if he still remember me. HAHAHAHA I hope so. I wish to meet him again in the future hehehe (ؑ⸍⸍ᵕؑ̇⸍⸍)◞✧ But during the party, I like Zen coser the most LOL xD

Okay, Moving on ⸂⸂⸜(രᴗര๑)⸝⸃⸃

So, remember the trip to Penang I was talking about last year? Yeah, we went through it HAHAHAHAHA and it was definitely one of the best trip I ever went to and everything just wowsome! xD It was our first trip together without other people so it's pretty exciting though. And we went to lots of places and the foods are amazing. I don't exactly remember where we went, other than Bukit Bintang, the museums and some other places lol but the feelings were amazing! I remember the time we went cycling around Penang, hunting for the street arts. It was super fun. Very tiring but it was very fun. Then, we kinda make this birthday surprise for my bitch, Kenny hahahaha and I almost blew it ෆු(*˃ர்˂*)ෆු because well, I tend to talk first then think HAHAHAHAHAHAHA but thank goodness, that time Kenny was too tired to care about whatever shit I was saying lol xD But overall, it work out and he definitely surprised hahahahaha it was last minute ideas though because the two girls doesn't actually know that he was coming to join us, except for me because he told me beforehand hahahahaha It was fun and tiring but exciting. I wanna go to another trip with them again because well, they're just the type of people that just go with the flow and whatever happens, happens lol xD So, I kinda like that ya know hehehe because I'm the type that doesn't wanna think about stuff, so they kinda do all the thinking and planning and I'm just going with it lol xD Also, I'm super glad that I went with them and I thanked them for their patience towards my mood swings and bitch face when I'm super tired. (༶ૢ˃̵̑◡˂̵̑༶ૢ)

And then, July...... There's not much things happen in July except for sis Jaba and sis Inut Birthday... OH WAIT! During June. I have received another SON. So here, I welcomed CELESTINE MEROME CLEMENT to the family <3 a super cute and strong little baby and I wish him to continue to grow healthy and adorable and sweet and with cuteness overload! ૮(ᶿ̴͈᷇ॢ௰ᶿ̴͈᷆ॢ)ა✧

Okay, now. Next.

July, nothing really happen. August. Well... By the end of August, I received a very shocking news about my mom. She was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer Stage Two. When I found out about it I was literally shut down. I just stared at mom like I have no feeling at all but well, we all know how much it took me that time. I didn't know how to react at all. I have feelings that mom definitely thought that I wasn't concern about it or whatever. But thank goodness that I have my friends to support me and I talk to them and they reassures me about everything, especially Kenny who were like introducing me to many of his relative who sells supplements specialize for cancer patience. Thanks to Hui Hui as well for helping me with booking the flight tickets and all when none of the people who is family by blood with me wanting to help us out. I was so pissed as well as disappointed that time. They just doesn't even bother to help even for a sec. And during my mom treatment at Kuching, it was all thanks to sis Bien for accompanying mom over there. I am truly grateful for her. That was the time I knew who I should keep in my life and who I should get rid off. Not getting rid of them forever, no. But I won't even bother to give my everything to help them anymore. It's more like my problem, my problems. Yours, yours. I don't wanna be involves.

And September.
I'm still saddened by the fact that my mom was diagnosed with cancer and that she has to go through around 20 times chemotheraphy and 5 times radiotheraphy for the whole month but then, I got my blessing in disguise with me because Hui-hui got us a ticket to Seventeen Concert! hahahaha xD

Well, it was something that I've been wanting to do. Attending concert and I really thanking her for making the dream coming true hahahaha xD another goals to be scratch off the list woooh! Though I'm definitely feeling a little guilty for going for the concert when my mom were battling to survive her treatments, but I'm glad I took the opportunity because it definitely give a new set of vibes and strength after I went back. Back from the concert, I realized that I had to keep looking strong for my parents sake though having to put up a strong face everyday isn't easy but then, the concert really was the kind of break that I needed to be strong. I know that I'm still is a burden for both of my parents but then, I am the pillar of their strength. I knew they look up to me so much about taking care of everything if things went wrong but I didn't want them to believe the negative side of things so I keep telling my mom that it's gonna be okay, things will be alright. The treatment will definitely work out and you will be healthy again. Though, deep down. I'm scared. I'm so scared of the possibility of things to go wrong and that I could lost her. Of all things or people, the one person that I can't lose is mom. But I'm glad that my hopeful heart, and abundant wishes that I've made paid the price. She went through the treatment like a warrior she is. Now, she's pretty much become healthy again, like she used to be. Not exactly like before but definitely better. So, for all the time that I kinda lose my faith, I started to believe in Him again and because He is real and He is always good. Though, till this day, I still hoping it was me instead of mom. I mean, I lives my life doing shit I've been wanting to do and I'm pretty much satisfied with many things in my life. So, I don't really mind of getting diagnosed with cancer or die. hahahaha xD but real talk though, I am satisfied with my life so far and I really don't mind dying :)

Well, I still have half of 2017 to write about but damn, my emotion suddenly went down to the ground. HAHAHAHA Yeah, I've been pretty emotional this few days since, by the end of the December. Maybe because the time is near and I'm not sure if i'm making the right decisions. So I'm gonna leave this post until here for now. I shall come back again, hopefully tomorrow hahahaha ;)


So, I'll be seeing you again.
Bye and stay safe! ♥

Here's my new selfie. Lol xD