Nan Mollaseyo :3

Greetings, humanoids :)
I'm still feeling the same and nothing seems to be working out to make me get through this shit. in facts, it's getting worst hahahaha blame me for that though. it's all because of me. i don't know why but ummm...i just don't know. oh well, i'll get through this eventually. relax~ i always do :)
so,  yesterday i was going to do my homework and i did forced myself to do it but i can't motivate myself to do even some of it. i just able to write the questions ahaha and plus what concern me the most now is that my group assignment which due tomorrow. i don't want to let my teammates down you see. i really need to do my part but i just can't. i feel so helpless, so unmotivated. you know ehat i'm saying? i feel like i have no reason to be here anymore. i can't sort out what the exact words but yeah. its feel like it. nawww~ i never want to ends my life okay? i'm too fabulous to commit suicide kekeke XD still, sometimes i have the thought that it is the only way but then something always stop me from doing it. likemy mom  suddenly go all goody-goody to me and cook my favorite dishes for dinner... something like that... and sometimes, when i'm feeling so down to the earth crust, my playlist suddenly played some encouraging songs, gospel songs like they want me to keep on living and never give up. so in other word, i'm struggling to live right now because i feel loved by these kind of thing. they're not living things, except my mom of course, but it just that they can make me feel okay you see. i don't know how to put this but music really do help me get through this shitty reality i'm having. music inspires me to keep moving forward. Sounds like i'm making things up eh? Hahaha i know! I don't believe it either. I feel like i'm living in nightmares :3 but honestly, what i really need now is an escape. A place that i can be all by myself, listening to my favourite tunes, doing all my favourite stuff like drawings, sketching, colouring... Stuff like that... In my head there is no shitty things going on, everything just so peaceful, every time i take a breath, all i'm feeling is happiness and gratefulness. The feeling of freedom and gladness. Smiling all through out the day... You know what i'm saying? Yeah its a total paradise, you see :) but i know i never can have it unless i'm going to Heaven which is i'm so far away from that place kekeke :3 hmm.. Oh well :)

I keep telling myself "it's just life. Life is like a roller coaster, sometimes we're high up in the sky but sometimes there are moment where we kissing the ground. Everything is falling apart but it's just for temporary, so keep moving forward, happiness is waiting at the end of the line" yeah. This is what make me still holding on till today :) you see, i'm quite grateful that i still have positivity within me and i always try to help myself to stand back on my feet when everyone seems to leave me behind. This because i feel like no one ever stand beside me when i  need them the most. in fact, they don't even noticed that i need somebody to be with. so i think that, maybe its better if i help myself up and not depending on others. But i wonder, how long can i help myself doing this? I hope it will be forever though well at least until i can guarantee that my big brother can take care of mom and dad well. It just something concern me a lo lately. What if one day i'm not going to be strong enough to hold on and end myself before i knew he could take care of them? Heh... Shussshhh... I better not speak of this anymore. Hahahaha it's worthless. Its not like i'm having the courage of killing myself anyway ahahahaha XD forgive me for that suspense :3

Right! Remember when i said that i won't make any first attempt in making the first comversation with sis Jaba? Well, i lied. Yeah. I've read her updates on her blog and i think that maybe she need to be comfort more than i am though. I mean, pshh... My problem is nothing though. Besides i can settle this on my own. So i think that maybe i should just forget it and will stay as the first speaker as usual. Besides, she's really important to me though and seeing her down and stuff really making me feel lots worst you see. She's both a sister and a best friend to me and very dear to me though. Well, maybe she doesn't feel the same towards me but it doesn't matter though as long as she's regaining herself back to her self hyper and funny self, thats matter the most to me. I'm not trying to be a saints in this but its true. I guess its really will end of our relationship if i don't do it though hehehe :) Oh well... Let just think that she's more social awkward with me than with those role-players on tumblr because i'm too fabulous hahahaha :3 but then i think that, she still okay though and she can get through all the negative thoughts if she fight for it because at least she still have sis inut to talk with and to enlighten her mood a bit and she can make sis inut as her motivation to keep on moving forwards. I mean, sis inut always there for her though even no matter how busy she's with her love one, she make time for sis Jaba. Me? I have no one to talk to or to make me feel better but if you counted 9gagger, then yeah. I have kekeke XD i can't opened up to everyone else even mom or even sis Jon. I lost trust on everybody. Maybe the real fault is really on me hahahaha yeah, i'm the one at fault though kekeke since i can't be opened up with other on how i'm feeling~ oh well. Its not like they would give a fuck about it though :3
Yeah. Well. Sometimes i think that i'm born to comfort others and not to be comforted. Because i notices that every time i need someone, everybody seems to be running away from me. That i have to deal with all this shit all by myself. But yeah... Maybe this happens because people are scared of my fabulousness kekekeke XD oh well, whatever. I have myself to be with and i have my Father to take care of me and my lovely Guardian Angel to protect me though :)  i'll be fine in no time now :3

Even today i feel much better... :)

P.S Let Your Smile Cover Up Your Tears :)

Another bullshit? hahaha XD just kidding. I can't think of any creative title.

Greetings, humanoid :)
Yes~ that cutie can light up my world you see. She meant the world to me. Well, not just her, there also Shawn my little nemesis. ehehe :D but since she's now reaching 1 years old, she doesn't really like to play with me anymore like we use too it's kind of hurting me a bit:( ahahaha but yeah, I forced her to play with me though. SHE MUST PLAY WITH MAMA NGENG~ hahahaha XD

Anyway, today I have my accounting test and TETT~ I die in action. hahahaha I seriously don't know what the fuck is written on the questions. I mean, everything look so alien to me. hahahaha well. I did some of it but I don't know if I did correctly and both questions, I ended up with emoticons (O.O and T^T) ahahahaha oh well, seriously. I don't think I can make it. oh well, whatever. what past is past. kekeke XD

Uh.... My life has nothing interesting going on. I'm still the same reserved person as usual and now I'm more of locking myself away from the crowds and drowned in my own fantasy, listening to musics and even instagramming, I'm no longer fond with that shit anymore. hahaha :) Well, I don't know. Nothing excites me you see. I just... hmm... Oh well, I'll just keep looking ahahaha oh ya! I lied about that. Actually in this few days, I'm more of watching movies. I always spend time to watch some random movies. hahahaha yeah I have bunch of unwatched movies in my locker and I think I'm going to watch some... maybe later or maybe next week. I need to deal with my HR assignments and tutorials first though. Plus, I'm currently worried about my Finance Group Assignment. I think my group members doesn't even move their asses out on dealing with it. Well, I don't either because hell I don't know anything about it. ahahaha XD seriously. But for now, I'm gonna deal with HR first. Easy work first la ehehei~

And... uh what else? Um..... Right. Uh.... In this few days, I've been thinking that maybe everything that happens to me like the paranoia, depressions, negative thoughts, insecurities... all that happens to me because of me. I mean like, maybe it just all me that made that all out and thought negatively about people around me. I don't know why but I feel like it was just me though. It all come from my scumbag brains and it keep telling me to try to fit in with the other kids. Seriously, brains? you think it fucking easy to do that? People only looking for me when they need something, I can't afford that anymore okay? I just... come on. I'm not a slave and I'm not that really want to fit in. I mean, I NEVER CAN FIT IN with those pretty, confident, and smartass boys and girls. I'm just me.

Yep. Seriously. My brain keep telling me this and its really killing me slowly from the inside. I'm confused. I even sometimes found myself mingling with those classmates of mine even when my other self say no. I... I guess that I'm really are stupid. A stupid one who wants to fit in even when she knew she never can. ahaha Pathetic.

Ahh~~ I just hate myself. ahahaha Oh well.... and last time, when I was on tumblr, I saw this post from one of those I followed on my dashboard. She posted that she was telling everyone that she's fat and she doesn't even have that thigh gap and her stomach is big. she also said that her weight it 93lbs (45 something Kg) unlike before which is on 70 something. And then I'm like, seriously? If she have my weight, she's definitely going to kill herself. I'm 67.8 kg, I have this big butt that I always hate so much but I pretend that I love it with all my heart, I have no thigh gap that sometime I feel like puking whenever I wore that tight jeans or shorts. It just make me fat even more. I feel like hiding wholeself under the blanket all the time. And then plus, I have this weird body shape I mean come on! she's beautiful enough okay? why don't she feel grateful with what she got? i just don't understand people. Tell me I'm just some ignorant bitch but its true. I mean, her post make me hating myself. Make me feel fat, make me feel ugly and make me want to jump to the abyss and never come back to the surface anymore. I mean, *sighs*
I just hate my body even more than she does and I never tell anyone about it because I don't want other people to hate theirs. That post seriously strike me straight to the heart. hahaha XD seriously. I feel like being shot with revolver or something. XD

Well... There is one more thing that really bothering me lately. I'm very confuse with people around me. I mean, I keep on getting some confusing shit from these people. One say something and the other say the opposite about the same topic. I mean. seriously. I'm just tired. They confused me with all this shit that I sometimes feel like I never want to be home. I'm confuse like hell and i don't know who's story should I believe. The facts that they only have the same thing to say about is other people. I mean, why should they say bad thing about people? people are free to visit to my home its not like these people coming to THEIR house. I mean, why? why are they talking bad about others like they are all so fucking perfect and stuff. and then, when they're with me, any one of them, they would talk bad about each other, calling each others names. I mean, seriously. I'm tired of all that shit. Can we just have some random conversation about natures maybe? Stop talking shit about other people behinds their back. I'm tired. and i really wish they could stop poisoning my head with the untruth. I'm tired. why can't they just let me think about it myself? let me observe it and see it with my very own two fucking eyes?

I have no problem with people coming to my house, then why that so bothering them anyway? Seriously. I really wants to cry right now but as usual my tears won't fall and it's freaking hurting me right now. Especially when they talk bad and described like how bad my favorite people are actually. I mean come on. Its not like their also that perfect. God. hmm.... It just... I'm tired of all that bullshit you see. all that I keep on listening to is bullshit. Yes, my life is full of bullshit now. I'm turning into a bullshit myself. and when I thought about this, I guess that they would talk shit about me too when they are together eh? I mean, pshhhh..... look how they talk about other people? how they talk about them, that's how they would talk about me right? it's fact. It's a fucking facts.

I'm just tired of all the bullshit.
I need to escape from this hell.
I need  to escape
I want to escape
I wish to escape
Before I'm going crazy,
kekekeke XD
just kidding :D

P.S Let Your Smile Cover Your Tears :)

Whoaaaa.....

Disorder	Your Score
Major Depression:	Extremely High
Dysthymia:	Very High
Bipolar Disorder:	Slight
Cyclothymia:	Moderate
Seasonal Affective Disorder:	Very High
Postpartum Depression:	N/A
Take the Depression Test

In Class O.O

Greetings, humanoids :) Right now i'm in a middle of class but i can't concentrate because the teacher only speaking in front and i'm too lazy to translate all the English words he's saying kekeke :3

So, uhhh.... Just to say that I must admit that i'm seriously depressed like i used too hahaha i mean, you see.... In the last two days, i really fond to cut my hair by myself and now my hair isn't at the same length ahahaha no one will noticed it thought because i only cut some of it. But seriously, this is what i do whenever i'm depressed because by cutting my hair, i can release this hidden depression inside well... I'm feeling a little better and i have my positive sense back actually; not all but okaylah. I still have that negativity though but thank God i manage to finished off my Economics assignment and Finance, i only have one more questions left. So, my day is getting better. Now, i only have to prepare myself for BEshit presentation tomorrow and settle all my HR undone tutorials. I guess i can make it this week and next week.... WOOHOOOO~ hahaha no more work!
Oh wait! I still have HR presentation. Oh well, at least i've done with some shit kekeke xD and i just remember that this Saturday, I'll have my Accounting test 5 (^__^)v wish me luck though. I wonder what chapter will come out. I think chapter 15-18 i think. Oh wow, i still don't get chapter 16. I think i'm gonna die hahahaha XD hopefully the questions won't be very hard to deal with though :)

Uhhh... I guess that's all for now. i shall come back again later or in few days hahahaha :D byebye for now !

P.S : Let Your Smile Cover Up Your Tears

No Ideas For The Titles. ehe

Greetings, humanoids :)
I'm actually doing my Economics assignment but I'm distracted so... here I am. hehehe :) As usual. My life didn't get better in fact my depression and paranoia getting out of control in this few days but don't worry, I'm cool with it. I had worse. hahaha :) Anyway, speaking of depression... I'm not depressed because I'm sad or stressed because of the assignments due date or anything. It just came to me naturally and be part of me hahahaha seriously. I can't even figure out the reason why I'm being sad and stuff. hahaha and yeah, I noticed that I'm even quieter than before like seriously. I only let my mind speak ( Only connects with people via texts and social network ) I don't really, you know... like to talk. I mean, every time I talk to someone, in less than few minutes, I get bored and pissed at them for no reason. I know.... I guess I'm really are anti-social eh? hahahaha I do love interacting with people surrounds me it just that I can't help it but to be pissed off.

Even at home, my mum and I don't really talk with each other. Once I get home, I immediately put my earphone on and face the lappy screen until night time and she just sit there and watch whatever shows on the TV. But then, I didn't feel awkward though. Maybe it just how we interact with each other. hahaha I mean, by be there at each other side? hahahaha I don't know.

And speaking of interacting. It's been about 3 weeks I didn't interact with sis Jaba though. Yep, well... I guess she just busy with stuff. You know, role-playing stuff. Yeah... I don't feel like flooding her ask box on tumblr anymore though because I feel like I annoyed her in some ways. I mean, seriously. I'm annoying like fuck. hahaha XD And in this few weeks too, I've decided not to seek or make the first attempts to start any conversation with her though because you see, it's always me who start the conversation. She did, but too seldom. And this make me think like, what if she never wants to talk to me but have too because she just don't want to hurt my feelings for not replying? Well, what if this is true? heh... Well, I don't know the truth though but this questions hurts me. I mean, like seriously. I'm tired of it. Seriously. I mean, it's really not that easy to start a conversation you see. I'm very bad at this thing but then because I want to talk to her and keeping in touch, I have to force myself. And plus, I can't really stand it when I have to ask so many things just to keep the conversation alive. You know what I mean? It just. gosh. Hmm.... And to conclude this, I'm very sure that she doesn't really wants to talk to me. hahahahahaha well. Yeah. whatever :)

<----- This is my most favorite picture. I don't know who the hell is he but he's adorable especially in the second picture and I'm like GAGDYUHSFIJEFKEKF<KE~~~ hahahaha XD Oh well, he's just cute alright? I can't help it :) And so... I'm going to have a presentation by this week on Thursday. Yeah, and I don't know how it will turns out but I'm really hoping for the best now. I'm a bit nervous when I think of this but yeah... the sooner, the better. kekeke and my final exams will be like around 3 more weeks and I haven't done any study yet. I'm thinking of doing some during the study week *One week holiday wwooooo* XD I'm scared that I can't score for my Finance. Yeah, that's the only subject that I'm very terrified with right now. Too much fucking formula and I don't even understand any of that shit. hahahaha and Economics, I think I can just read everything from the notes that the teacher gave me though and HR, its just reading and stuff and for BEshit. It's just a piece of shit. hahaha Seriously. The teacher don't even teach us anything yet. I don't know how I'm going to study that shit. For Account, um.... depends on the questions and I really hope the teacher still have a merciful heart and gives us a little bit of easiness on the questions. ahahahahaha :D And uhh.. what else about school? Um..... Right! I'm thinking of sending out all of my assignments and tutorials by this week. Hopefully. I'm quite a bit stress because of it but I'm controlling it hahahaha I can't let it overcome meh. If I do, I would turn into your worst nightmare and the grumpiest person ever. like seriously. And if I let my negative energy to control me, i guess I'm already die. hahahaha :)

Cute right? I know! I made them kekeke XD it's a flyers for our imaginary shop hehehe :) Anyway, last time when I was going somewhere with my mum, I suddenly have this thought hits me in the skull. Like imagine that one day, Miri City were flooded my zombies. hahahaha XD and yeah, I came up with newly fresh ideas for story. kekeke but I haven't start writing it yet since I've lost my confidence somewhere in writing this kind of shit. So, the ideas I'm having is like this. Uh.... Well, the characters will be like 4 to 5 person like that lah, mixed of adults, teenagers and maybe kids. yeah. I don't know. I just randomly thought of this. hahaha XD and then they were like being left out from the main evacuation day but the got notes la from the evacuator staff and the notes contains the information like the place where the other evacuation process will be held and what time, what day... something like that la and then they have about three days to survive before the huge termination of the undead on the 4th day. Yeah... and they have lots of experiences and stuff and shit going on during their surviving moments. Well, maybe few of them dies in action. Maybe. If I have the guts to kill them. kekeke and I'm thinking of making it a bit funny though. But then when I think back, I'm not funny enough to write funny shit. hahahaha
So, maybe nahh~~ I'll just go with the flow, write whatever shit I want. I mean, no one will wants to read it anyway. Even if the does, it would bored them to death. hahahahaha So, yeah. I shall not speak a word of this. hehehehe :)

And yeah, I'm currently doing another story too hehehehe :) It's about band thing. Well, they're not famous band but they were paid to perform in a special birthday party of the daughter of rich man lah. hahahaha because the girl likes the vocalist bah since they were like coming from the same school kan. So yalah~ but then, the vocalist got crush la with this one part-timer in the hotel where the rich girl will celebrate her birthday and the vocalist crush is the guitarist friend from kids lah and the guitarist also like the girl la. Plus, vocalist and guitarist is bro-forever bahh. hahahaha then... I don't know. HAHAHAHAH well, I actually haven't write anything on this one two, I'm just starting with the character. kekekeke XD yeah~~~ XD I just love finding characters for my story okay? but not writing or finishing it off. kekeke XD
I'm Awesomely Slacker.

It's almost 12.00 a.m now and I'm lacking of ideas on what to write. kekekeke oh right! I'm currently loving Of Mice and Men. Yeahhh~~ Austin is full of awesomeness XDD I love all of their songs. Well, only in this one album lah, The Flood. Seriously, the way he scream really synchronized with the music. It just deadly awesome! hahahaha XDDD my current favorite song is the Production of Murderer and Ben Threw :)

And I'm actually getting bored with Instagram and Tumblr and Twitter and also Facebook. Because I started to feel insecure and no privacy at all. Only here, in Blogger I can have my privacy you see. Here I can talk whatever I really feel and whatever is in my head because nowadays, people seems to drift away from blogger only few left. Well i guess i shall say THANK GOD!

hahahaha XD I'm sick and tired of people actually. So, yeah... I guess I'll be here more often from now on :)

P.S Let Your Smile Cover Up Your Tears.

Life Goals That I Will Achieves No Matter What (PART TWO)

Greetings again, humanoids. I was just finish updating my journal book ehe :) a bit of emoish stuff I guess. I just wrote what my brain tell me to write kekeke and yeah, I don't want to read now. I'll save it for the future. kekeke XD anyway, as I've told you... I'm going to continue what I've left this morning. The life goals of mine. ehehe and if I'm not mistaken, in this post will be the 6th, right? hm... oh well, I'll check on that later. So, today... Nothing much happen at school though, just my classmate ask me to join them for movies tomorrow. Let just wait and see what's gonna happen tomorrow. I don't want to expect anything though ehehe :) and well, uhh.... I guess let's just continue on the life goals thing. ehehehe :)

6. Collecting figurines of all my favorite Anime.

Well, yes. I really want collect all the anime figurine of my favorite. Currently I'm waiting for Izaya's figurine to arrive but gosh, it's hell to damn long for me to wait T^T Well, after I'm receiving Izaya-san, I was thinking to get Shizuo and Celty's figurine as well. ehehe then, my Durarara collection will be completed. Woohoo! Right, I was thinking of going to KL as well since I've heard lots of rumors about there are few shops selling anime merchandises, figurines and even cosplaying costume. Whoa~ ahahaha :D I mean, it is the nearest paradise for Otaku like me. Well, one day. I shall go there and BUY ALL THE ANIME! kekekeke :3

Besides Durarara, I want to finish collecting Naruto's figurine as well. I now have only few of the characters. Oh wow, I think I need an extra room if I want to collect all the figurine no? hmm..... oh well, for now, I'll just stick with Durarara. hehehe :)

7. Cos-playing or attending Cos-play convention

Well, yeah. I always wanted to cosplaying ya know. hehehehe :) But then, whenever I think of it, I always wonder what character should I be cosplaying as? hahahaha well, until today, I never get the answer so well, I guess I'll just cosplaying as lolita gothic wuhuuu~ it would be awesome and badass kekeke XD And yeah, I would really love it if I'm having the opportunity to went to the biggest cosplayer convention and meet with lots and lots of awesome cosplayers and cosplay costume. I once went to this anime convention but I couldn't fan-girling since I was along that time. I really wish sis Jaba was with me. if she does, I bet I've taken a picture with Hatsune Miku and Sakura Haruno. kekeke XD oh well, I think this year, they will arrange another anime convention like that one again XD I will go no matter what cost! XD

8. Opening Manga Cafe

Since I watched Coffee Prince, I always wanted to open a cafe of my own. And now, as my Otakuness overcome me, I was thinking of opening a Manga Cafe. kekeke Well, it's not really like the real manga cafe where everyone just came and read manga. No, mine is more of people eating in like real cafe but at the same time they can chilling, reading the mangas while listening to anime soundtracks and watching animax. ehehe :) Well, I didn't come out with this idea solely. It was originally sis Jaba ideas and the food thing is from sis Inut. Yep, the three of us has dreaming of opening this kind of cafe around Miri. Well, the chances aren't that big for us to get famous but still, we can attract customers though since we still have the normality of normal cafe. ekekeke :D I bet there aren't so many otakus or anime lover around Miri but I know the number is increasing kukukuku XD Well, in our cafe, our employees will need to wear those maid and butler outfit on their normal days and a week for each month, they have to cosplay hehehe :) gosh, I can imagine it already. ekeke XDD I hope this would be coming true one day! AMEN! XDD

9. Sending LEVEDAD (Jaba's works) to be published. hehehehehe :)

I am dead serious about this one. kekekeke XD if one day, she manage to finish of this fucking awesome story, I shall print it out few copies and look for publisher that would published it for me. kekekeke she doesn't have to know. Well, I might give her some hints about publishing it but since I know she wouldn't agree with it, so yeah. kuikuikuikui~ Well, if it got accepted, she'll thanked me one day. ehehehehehe XD I KNOW THI GONNA BE BLAST. well, i think before that I shall publish it publically around the internet and closest friends first and see what they think. As her unofficial manager, (I just become one today kekekeke) I shall see first then if many people like it, I shall go for it. YEAH!

My own story? Pffftttt. don't make me laughed/ 3rd grader can write better than me. XD

10. Own A Library

I always wanted to own my own library for sure. hehehe :) Well, that is because my manga are adding up and I need a place to put my figurines. Plus, I need more place to put all my novels collections. I mean, I seriously need a library you know. I just can't help it but to be seduced by my smoochie bed and I always end up sleeping whenever I'm doing my homework or any important works. even when I'm reading manga, I can fall asleep. I just can't do my stuff in my bedroom. So, I wish to own a library. A special place for me to get my things done. so far mom and dad doesn't agree with me though wuwuwuwuwu. Oh well, I shall find my way to have a library of my own one day! XD

Well, I guess that is all my current life goals. hehehe :) It's not that many but it freaking hard to be achieve you know because I'm having an overprotective parents kekekeke Well, ASIANS~ what can I say? but I'm very grateful to have such parents though even though sometimes they really got in my nerves but it all for my own good. I think I won't be this introvert at the same time otaku which is rather weird for normal teenagers like me hehehe and I'm limited editions. All thanks to my parent that I'm still a unicorn. kekekeke XD I love being a unicorn! XD

So, yeah.... Bye-bye for now. We shall meet again soon. Adieu XD

P.S Let Your Smile Cover Up Your Tears :)

Life Goals That I Will Achieves No Matter What (PART ONE)

Greetings, humanoid. Well, honestly.... as usual I should be doing my homework but I don't know which one should I be starting first because they are piling now. I have 3 HR homework, 2 Finance assignments, Economics Assignment, Entrepreneurship Assignments and... eh... I don't have homework for Accounting, wohoo~~ XD Oh ya, speaking of accounting, on my previous test, I manage to get 5.4/12 I'm like whoaaa~~~~ it's something! hahahaha I mean seriously. It was my highest mark so far. Usually I got 4.8, 4 something like that and yesterday I feel like going to the top of the building and shouted "I AM THE QUEEN OF THE WORLD!" ahahahahaha well, I did it mentally. kekeke XD I'm so proud of myself for able to beat my own records. kukuku. Ah, yes. I only wanted to beat myself before I'm going to beat the rest. I mean, come on. What the use of beating each other records? I mean, its not like you already good enough yourself right? Unless you're Einstein. kekeke XD Anyway, congratulation to myself. ekeke XD YAYY~~ and right now, I actually thought of doing my Entrepreneurship Presentations. I did the first one but the second one, I haven't do because I don't have the updated information. Maybe I'll ask from my teammates later on. And yeah, I'm thinking of telling the two losers of my team to do their presentations as well. Their part lah so that they can understand better. as if. Oh well, whatever. hehehe :)
Okay then, let's get this done with this shit.

Well, hello Kellin freaking Quinn. ehe~ I just love the sounds of that. ekeke XD I want that cookies >.< I mean, that's the largest cookie I ever saw in my friggin 19 life. I wonder where I can get one of those. kekeke XD anyway. I'm going to list down all my life goals that I'm going to achieve at any cost. ahahaha I mean, everyone have life goals right? So do I. But so far, I can manage to achieve only a few that I don't really care like, materialism things. kekeke You know what I mean? I mean like uhh... PS2, smartphones, DSLR, cameras. Gosh, I have 3-4 camera you know. ahahaahaha >.< I don't know why my parents so generous to buy me camera every time I ask for it. ahaha xD i feel like asking for Olympus XZ-1 kukukuku well, not now I guess. I'm waiting for my pocket money, kekeke XD Well, I'll think about it tho since my DSLR still okay. Ah~ only one thing I haven't got. PSP~~ Wait. This isn't the real point =.= Oh well, let's get to the first life goals and my most important;

1. Going to JAPAN

Japan is like the most favorite country of mine. I mean, since forever I've been wanting to step my foot there but I never had the chance. I've talk about going there with my parents but they seems to just ignore this. They're like, "Ok, sure.. fine, whatever" =.=' It kind of frustrating ya know. Because I've been wanting, seriously LIKE REALLY REALLY wanting to go there. Well, you know that I'm a big fans of Anime right? So, when I watch Anime and I knew that the place drawn in the Anime is real, I feel like wanting to see it for myself. the schools, the places, OH! especially Enoshima! I want to go and take pictures at where the Tsuritama's character fishing. I would.... GOD! that's the most awesomeness thing will ever happen in my life. AND plus, I want to go to Ikebukuro and take picture at all places that I ever seen in Durarara~ plus, I want to go to SAITAMA and went to mount Fuji~~~ XDDD Oh wow.. I mean, literally wow~ i can't even imagine it if I'm going to get there. ahahahaha XD 

And SO.... I am really going to make this trip happen. I mean, I'm 19 and going to be 20 soon. I'm old enough to go for a trip right? But of course, I won't go alone though. ehehe :) I'm of course going with my forever lovely and loveliest sis Jaba. Since we're like having the same dream and stuff. So yeah :))) 

*FINGERCROSS* I wish to get there.

2. Attending Concerts.

And yes. I've been dying to attend concerts. Since I was young, I've been dreaming of seeing my favorite bands or artist to perform right before my eyes. It just gosh~ I mean, seriously. I'm very envious with those who can go attending concerts of the singers that their adore so much. I mean, it just the best fucking time ever. So, if I'm going to attend any concerts, I definitely getting myself a gold tickets I mean come on. Once in a life time. ahahaha XD I never set  my foot to any concerts before. No matter what concert though, Kpop or non-kpop, I just want to attend the concerts. Well, pshhh.. if the bands aren't my likes, of course I wouldn't attend. kekeke XD I'm seriously going to make this happen as soon as I'm turning 20. ehehe :) I mean, I'm already legal to go somewhere else without my parent provision. But of course, I won't go there myself. ehehe... You know very well who I'm going to bring along. kekeke XD no other than sis Jaba~ 

She doesn't have to worry about the tickets or our place to stay though because I will volunteerily pay for us as long as she's coming with me and pay the plane tickets for herself. kekeke XD Even I would buy her plane tickets ya know. I'm just freaking dying to attend concerts before I die. Who knows, I might die one day. And since I didn't manage to make my life goals done, I'm going to be a wanderer-ghost. kukukuku JK~ XD

3. Selca-ing with my favorites people.

Like hell, I want to do this. hahahhaha XD I mean, seriously. If I had this opportunity, I will take as many as I can and would print it out as big as I can and even frame it and even hang it on every empty wall I can find. HAHAHAHA seriously, it would be the most fucking awesome moment, taking pictures with our favorite people. I want to mostly selca-ing with Kpop artists, especially Infinite, Super Junior and MBLAQ. As for english bands, I want to take picture with One Directions, kukukuku and SWS and of course Pierce The Veil~ I don't ask much, I would want to take group pictures with this awesome people but if luck is on my side, i would want to selca individually with them. I'd be ajfsjfojesogjoejfkojoejgiojwieojow~~~ ahahahahahaha XD seriously, after that selca moment, I would die of happiness. kekekeke XD

4. Draw my own Manga

I always dream to draw my own manga actually since I was so young age. I mean, you know that my real ambition was to be a Mangaka right? but now, since there is no way I can achieve this childhood dream of mine, so I thought that maybe I could make my own manga and publish it illegally kukukuku I mean, home-publish la~ I would start with love manga, since it is the most easy genre to draw for amateur like me. and yeah, I still hadn't improve a lot in drawing lately but I would want to try though. I mean, seriously. If I can't be the real mangaka, at least I have my own self-made manga, right? I would proudly presented my children in the future. kekekeke XD And yeah, I would let some of my friends to read it up for me and comment on it so I can improvise. ehe :)

This, I think I'm going to do it soon, maybe around this year :) I just need some adjustment in my character figures. Expressions, I can do well now. It just the figures, they still look so stern and cocky. kukukuku XD

5. Become an unofficial Ulzzang

Well, unofficial ulzzang here I mean like uhh... how to say this... I want to be stand out in the net world. kukukuku XD Seriously, I want to know how it feels like having 100+ of people liking your pictures HAHAHAHA this is ridiculous >.< but heyy~ I'm a girl okay? and plus, I want to be confident when other people took my picture. I mean, I never like it when other people took a picture of mine, I feel so small and losing 70% of my confidents. ahahahahaha I only can took pic of myself (selca-ing) I really adore those people who still have confident in them even when other people took it for them. I mean seriously. Oh wow, i think this will be the hardest things for me to achieve. kekeke. I seriously couldn't over come the thought of 'how fat I am' ahahahaha Yeah.... I mean, I'm still traumatic with the harsh comments from the You-Know-Who. I just can't overcome with it. Well, sometimes I do find my body is great ekekekeke but yeah, that negative thought always manage to get me. heeee~ so yeah, I just need to find that confident eh?

Plus, I want to wear pretty clothes like ulzzang did with confident that I look good on them ehehe :) I mean, I really adore their fashions and I want to try on those clothes too~ kukukuku XD So, yeah~ I want to achieve this as well. I think this one is better if I entitled it as "Confident to my body kukukuku"

Shy VIC FUENTES is the most fucking adorable things I ever seen in my life. ahahaha XD seriously, I'm blushing right now. Seeing him all shy like that. God, it just some precious gifs. Thank you Lord for creating such a beautiful creature. kekeke I mean, LOOK AT THAT TEETH~ Oh myyy~~~ XDDD cannot me *fell on the ground dramatically* 

*cough*

Anyway, I'm actually going to school in less than an hour. Plus, I haven't shower yet. kekeke XD And yeah, I need to get my ass to the shower and get ready for school. But don't worry, this going to have part two. Oh yeah~ I still have a lot of goals that I haven' achieve yet. ekeke pity me eh? I know~~~ anyway, my alarm has rang and it's time to go shower. 

I shall come back here again later. (since I only have one class this morning and be back around 11 something. So yeahh~~~ TTYL)

Talk to you later, my Mr. Bloggy :D

P.S Let Your Smile Cover Up Your Tears.