Pieces Of My Heart -Pgie-

I felt like my heart is crumpled like an old piece of paper,

I can't barely felt my heart pounding beautifully as ever,

I suffocated in the life of guiltiness

After I push you away from my life.

I never felt so much misery in my whole life

Until I made that baddest decision of my life

Decision that make us apart

Decision that make our friendship destroy.

I miss all the great memories that we've have

I miss all the crazy ideas that we've shared

I miss everything that we did when we had a blast

The memories drive me crazy all the time but still I ignored

For I choose to listen what my head says instead of listening to what my hearts wants.

I admit I miss you to be part of my life

The time I realize I could lose you for I don't know until when,

I could feel my heart sank and its never beating in sweet rhythms anymore

I had another greatest lost of my heart.

Yes, I do happy when you're wasn't around

but it didn't last long

It never felt the same even after I had a great laugh

I must tell that you only can make my heart joyful.

I wish I could win your forgiveness back

But I truly understand if I couldn't 

Simply said,

I'm shame of myself for pushing you away,

That's make I feel shameful to face you back,

I'm sure that I'm the baddest friend that you ever had

Which that I'm very regret too.

I hope you read this poems and stuff it deep in your heart

For through this,

you could feel the feeling that Istuff throughout this poems,

A feeling that I can't possibly show against my egoistic self.

I conclude this poems with the simple words which I always wanted to say

I'm Sorry.

A Very Long Story :)

AnnyeongHaseyo and Hello to my Mr.Bloggy :) Oh, it's feel like a decade I hadn't wrote my blog. Sorry sorry! I just don't feel like it because I'm too busy with school and stuff. Even I getting involved in family drama. haha :) Oh, yes. I'm in an unofficial drama. hehehe and I hate it with all my life. Life drama isn't as bad as those family drama we often watch on tv. In fact, it is way more bad than that. It's suck! haha :) Well, I've got lots too tell in this very post you know, like about my grades, stressfulness, my stupid brother, my friends, and stuff. Oh, before that, I want to tell that I'm still the same BlackJack -2ne1 fans- haha :) I'm kinda can't get away from 2ne1. hehehe :) just love the girls. 2ne1 rocks my world! and oh, maybe its late to tell but yeah, SimplePlan, my long lost favourite band had come back with their new album. WOOHOO! and pierre bouvier is damn, cuter than before even though now he maybe around 24+ years old. hehe :) cute oldman. ekeke :) well, he's my bias before and will not going to change it unless he's going to back with his emo's look because I don't like him with long hair. just not suit him :) that's only my personal opinion. No hurt-feeling, na? heheh :) SO, let us move to first sad story.

Kay, school is on my top list because this is one of the most saddening story of my life. You know, I just finished my third trial examination, which determine whether I can get good grades on the real exam or not and NO, I can't have a very good and flying color grades because I'm suck! I'm stupid and i'm SO damn dumb! I get all my science and mathematic exams FAIL. all five! can you imagine how suck I am? I know! pathetic, right?! now i'm so damn stress and I admit, I'm really controlling my tongue from slipping out a nasty words in front of my classmates, teachers and even my parents. I just want to cursed, cursed and CURSED! Oh, damn I'm now so mad at myself. Mad, Sick, and damn i'm stupid. hehehei. see, even my fingers kept on typing the word 'damn' Urgh! I'm very upset with my grades. I don't feel that I could get good grades to make my parents proud of me. I'm just going to make them embarrassed. Oh, I'm so stress right now. Only exactly a month left and I don't know what I should do now. I want to study but too many things about Biology, Chemistry, Physics, Additional Math and Math that I didn't knew. Everything written in the text book or in the work book look aliens to me. I just can't understand it. I'm so dumb. I'm stunned right now. I don't know how to study anymore. Everything I do, nothing goes right. And last time, I checked my range in class, I got the last place in class again. Maybe I'm born to be a loser. I don't know. Now, I don't know why am I typing so many I don't know right now. Maybe because I really don't know what to do to improve myself. hmmm... I just keep on praying so that father in heaven could help me reduce the stress deep inside me. Well, enough about this, I feel like i'm almost leaking right now. hehehe. Lets move another sad story of mine.

"If killing wasn't a sins, I've been done that a while ago" that's what mum always said. Yep, she had her reason why she said that and her reason is, of course and obviously my Stupid Big Brother who never be grateful for what our parent had gave him. This whole year, throughout 2011, mum suspecting him to be involved in drug and last few month, he and mum started to quarelling none stop because he kept on asking money, in a very large amount. Mum never miss a day to cry, she kept on cry, cry and Cry. Sometimes, she even let out her anger on me, the one who didn't even involve in anything about it. Sometimes, I pissed when she did that but I just stood there and act numb because I knew that she's depressed for what my brother had become. I know, she just love him as much as she loved me and I know that she's disappointed about him. Which mother doesn't disappointed if their child is involved with something stupid? Well, maybe she didn't know, but whenever she scold me on something silly, its totally stressing me out. Sometimes, I just couldn't hold my tears, that I ran and locked myself inside the bathroom because I don't want her to see me cry. It would even saddened her more, right? He, i mean my brother, brought dozens of strangers entered our house and party like there is no tomorrow when mum wasn't staying at night (as she had to sleepover and my aunt to take care of my sick grandpa) I have to suffered and I can't sleep well every night for I'm scared that they would kick the room and stormed in and.... We never want to know about what happen next. maybe I could lost my life or worst... All I could do right now is pray for help and hoping that justice will be taken. As the conclusion, I hate my brother. I know hate is such a strong words, but yeah. Hell, I'm so right about it. I HATE HIM. if he doesn't getting involve with something that serious, mum would never cry everyday, would never pissed me off, would never stressing me out and my life would me much better. I wish justice will be served around the corner. I couldn't let myself to see mu cry any longer and Hell, my eyes sore for leaking so many times a day. Sorry for my words. hehe :) I'm not usually use that kind of word, you know. but yeah, I do mad right now.

Friends. Well, I love my friends for helping me a lot in my study, especially Angela Vidda. She had beed helping me a lot lately. So do Ek Cheng and my best friend, Prudence. Now, I could understand a bit on mathematic and Add math. Still, I have three more subject to worried about. hmmm... But, I admit that sometimes they annoyed my especially my best friend, Prudence. I don't know how to explained but sometimes she just pissed me off but yeah, as usual I didn't tell her about that. I just ignored her. haha :) but I don't blame her to be so talkative like that because that's her nature. I can't change her. Actually, I never pissed about that before. I guess, maybe my stress level is reaching the baddest top in the level of stressed. I mean, my stressfulness make me pissed about her talkative nature. hehehee. sorry Dence! :) You know, not just her who pissed me, sometimes random people also pissed me. hahaha :D Haiya.. I'm such a bad girl. ehehe. I wish I could just lay on a bed of green grass and enjoying the cool breeze slapping my face viciously, breathing in a very good amount of fresh oxygen and staring at the blue sky for hours without thinking about sad thing. haiz, in dream only lah. haha :) I wish.. *sighed*

And Oh, chapter 16 and 17 is published by sis Jaba yesterday. teehee :) I love it! I don't know other readers, but hell, I love it damn much! hahaha :) I thought she'd been abandoning it you know. I was so worried sick about it. hehei :) Right, that's short. hahaha :) Urm... what else? Oh, I did some personal story also. I make 3 stories but I will do it next year. I just manage to make it half way. Maybe i'll posted it on the net next year. After I manage to survive the real exam. hahaha :D Err.... Yes, I still obsessed with Kang Hyuk Min. ehehe :) He's getting cuter and cuter everytime I stalked the tumblr. hehehe :) I have almost thousands of his pictures and now, wow! he's getting famous every day :) maybe I'll passed him when everyone started to know him later. hehe :) Sometimes, I got this crazy idea when I talk to Him. I told Him that I want to be Hyukmin's girlfriend so badly. LOL XD but it just for fun even though I meant it because I know I'm not cute, hot, have nice body type. I'm just plain and average type of girl who lose her two front tooth in march 2011. hahaha :) I always wonder, is there a guy who like girls with fakes tooth? LOL XD i don't think so *chuckled* Well, if it meant that I live alone, then I'll gladly devoted my life to help those in need :)

What? crush? Oh, no time to make crush on people. Let just say that I'm still stick to one. hahaha :) well, you know who. I can't tell who he is but sure, my closest people of my life knew about him. Yep, still developing a little crush on the same guy. hehehe :) still, he couldn't beat up my HyukMin O.o And today also, I've revealed my second best friend, Valerie's crush. ohoho :) She's in love, Yaw! hahaha :) God, I'm happy for her. but I shall hope that she won't be too drifted away with her whole crush things till her forget about study :) And OH, I've got my LG580 already and last few month, my uncle who worked at Singapore did bought me Canon PowerShot. WOohoo! and last week, I had spending a fabulous time with my sisters and me and Jaba crack few jokes that make us laugh like a banshee! hahaha! XD I guess, that's the very last time I feel so happy because after that best moment, I never felt my heart lighted anymore, its dimmer and dimmer each day. Haiz. hahaha :) Well, what ever. Even though everything turns against me, I still have God by my side :)

SO, i guess that's all I need to say for now. Maybe I'll write again when I have the mood to strike me. hahaha :) SO, ummm.. wish me luck on the coming exam. I'm trembling right now. haha :) Pray that I could do my very best in my SPM and won't let my parent down. Hope justice will be done and Pray that my mum will never need to cry again. Pray for me, so that I can study well and use this one month left wisely and do my best in my exams! NEVER LOSE HOPE ON ME, YAH?! thanks! ADIEU


♥-Let Your Smile Cover Up Your Tears- :)

I'll Be Fine.

Hello! It's me again. Duh! obviously. it's my blog. hahah :D anyway, it's been ages I didn't update, don't i? Well, its not because i'm busy but i just don't feel like updating my bloggy. Well, it just that my life is pretty rough lately. hahaha :D i'm so confuse and my mind is twisting here and there. I want to tell here but i just don't know where to start. Everything seems to giving me pressure. Schools, Home-works, Homes, or for short, everything surround me is giving me pressure. I'm stressed out to be honest and this make me don't want to go out to see the world and speak to anyone. i just wish i can be alone for a day. I want to have a break without seeing anyone or anything except for my bedroom. I'm tired to play in the game of life. but i don't have other choice but to keep on participating if i want to keep on living.  I'm only losing when I'm dead but so far, i haven't thought of doing that yet. LOL :D i'm not fully hopeless, don't i? I still have the chance to live a good life, don't i? But it seems to be tough if i want it as everything that had happen doesn't seem to be supporting. hehe :)

I keep on entertained myself and being cheerful as i can be but still, its only happen when i'm out from this zone, *the house* yeah, sometimes, i've thought of never going home and spend a night at school. I just don't have the guts to go home. Everything is so wrong. I hate my house. I hate the atmosphere. I wonder, how many people had to lives like me in this world? Sometimes, i feel like i'm the black sheep of the family. No one in my family could understand me, even mum. She just keep on giving me pressure and put her anger to my brother into me. It just doesn't seem fair to me. If she keep on doing that, how can i ever focus on my study? she just keep on making me thinking about the stuff that she hates about my brother. i don't even have time to entertain myself. whenever I having fun, they will start the dramas. Urgh! i can't stand it anymore. I blame my brother for sure. If he didn't make mum angry, mum won't do such things to me and of course, i can do better in school. My mind is messy right now. i don't know what to think about anymore and truthfully, i'm losing hope of getting straight A+ for SPM. I feel hopeless. I don't even study. It's only 2 month left and I didn't do any revision. Oh, God. what kind of life are you giving me? I want to be success but everythings seem to be so wrong and nothing is right in my eyes. I keep on thinking negatively and i hate it so much!

I can't think of anything else right now. I'm so bothered. I wish i had someone who can listen and understand my condition right now but its seem like everyone is leaving me and letting me going through this rough time alone. whenever i need anyone, no one will ever be there. even if there is someone, but they couldn't understand what I am really feeling. they thought they do, but actually they don't. well, maybe they do, but not fully understand. I don't know what else can i do. Should I run from it or should i stay and faced it? But i don't think i'm strong enough to faced everything that had happen because it doesn't seem to ended soon. For me, its getting worsen.  i don't know how bad will it be but i can feel it, this things won't end if my parent don't take action on my brother. the main reason for all this is my brother. if not because of him, i think i can have that happiness right in my arms. I wish i can do something about it. I really need someone that i can trust to talked about this matter. I need therapist. I'm desperately need guidance! I'm afraid that i will ended up with doing something stupid. i don't want it to happen. Oh God, please give me strength!!

I guess that's all i wanted to tell for now. Actually, there's more but i think i'm lacking of blogging skills. hehei :) so, i end up my post with Cheondung's picture .

P.S : let your smile cover up your tears :)

Just Updating :)

AnnyeongHaseyo! hehehei. its been a while eh? Yeah, I realize that too. I didn't blog for a weeks eh? hmm..hmm.. not that i'm busy or what just that i'm not quite into online on weekdays as i'm too busy with school works. So, that is why i didn't blogging. hehehe :) i miss bloggy a lot. Besides, I have no good stories to tell here. ehehehe :) yeah, my life seems to be repeating the same situation everyday. I'm getting used to it no matter how much i hate it. hehehei :) its like a normal routine you know, fight, sleep, online, eat, homeworks, talk, laugh.. etc. etc.. same.. no new stuff is going on. Oh, except for one.

Yepp, it is all about my besties, Prudence and her boyfie, Christyan. They just having an excessive fight last night and i'm becoming their middle person ( as usual ) that doesn't really matter you know. the things is they ALMOST break up because of the stupid rumours that come from no where. Haiz~ YEAH, i'm freaking mad at this stuff. I'm still not sure who spread the rumours but to be honest, if i knew who's that idiot is, i swear i'm gonna give him/her body gloves on his/her face on the spot. URGH! i'm so frustrated you know. yea, i may not be in the relationship but HELL-O~ that's my BEST FRIEND relationship. Who wouldn't beat a person for someone who breaks their BFF's heart? huh? you tell me. But to be honest, the slapping part, I won't dare to do it. but what i dare is, I give him/her a  piece of my mind until he/she wouldn't want to talk to me forever. hahaha :D don't underestimate me. i can do better than that if i want to. just that i'm not that bad. hahaha :D back to the topic. the rumours also make me somewhat confuse you because there are two groups of people who involved with this rumours. One, the one who tell me the rumours, Two, the one who is included in the rumours. So, when i asked group One, they said that Christyan is guitly but when i go to Two, they said he's innocent. So, this may haven't settle yet as there are still lots to dig up. for now, i think Prudence and Christyan are okay now, hopefully. if not, i'm the one who will cry out. LOL XD yeah, you know me. i'm the most emotional one in class. ekeke :DD

ermmm... what else to say here? Ahh, yes. later at 1800 hours, i'm going to attend this birthday party. it is organized by my long lost friend name Aery. oh, i never mention about her before but yeah, she's one of my friends. hehehe :) the smallest and the cutest among all of us.. ahh, i miss all the stuff we went through together back then. ehehei :D anyway, i'm glad that she didn't forget to invite me to her party. I feel so glad. hahaha :D and her party will be my second party celebrated together with friends. And yes, i'm quite nervous right now because i can't imagine how awkward the party will be. LOL XD hopefully not that awkward. urmmm...yeah, my besties will also be there so i'm not that really nervous lah. hahaha :) what else? urmmm... Oh, I've bought a present for her, well the present is not just from me. we shared the present lah.. expensive ohh, i can't afford myself. ekekeke :D the price doesn't really matter. what matter the most, we gave her the present with all our hearts kan? hehehei :D *sighing* LOL XD and today also, i have blast with sis jaba on FaceBook. ekekeke :) i have to control my mouth so that i won't suddenly burst to laugh. if i did that, my neighbour would probably thought i'm that "things" you know,.. the women.. in white. ekekeke :D we menyindir the ulzzang and Kpop roleplayers a.k.a fakers. LOL XD hmmm.. its not right, but it is fun doing it. ekeke :)

so, i guess, that is all for now. i'm so lacking of ideas for now. i need a very good night sleep so that i won't have panda eyes when going attend the party later on. LOL XD wish me luck and enjoy some of my drawing that i drew when i wasn't really listening to the teachers in class. i drew myself in Doraemon costume. hehehe :) Adieu ~

nice or not? give me a comment :) thanks again for reading.

p.S : Let your Smile Cover Up Your Tears :)

Randomly Post :D

AnnyeongHaseyo, Bloggers! yeah, i'm back! hahaha :) it's been a while eh i didn't update my blog. kinda busy lately as my sis Ina is around so i don't have any chance to only for too long. ekeke :) yeah, she is quite strict you know. Oh well, for my own good lah that :) i've been doing my History Notes for this weekend and finally i finish until 3.1.1 LOL XD improving eh? hahaha :D crazy. actually i'm about to do chapter 7 of my history's workbook but oh well, maybe after i update this baby blog of mine, then i'll do it or maybe i'll wake up early morning later on to do some of it before my history teacher kick me out of the class. hahaha :D and for English tomorrow, i'm guarenteed that i'm going to stand outside tomorrow for i haven't hands in my Holiday homeworks. ekeke :D not that i have no time, but my lazybones always said no. Not my fault. blame my lazybones and spines. ekekeke :) 

this week, nothing unusual happen. just that i'm worried about birthday party next saturday. Urgh! i'm so worried. what if i wear something that is not suitable? what if? ahh~ i'm so worried and yeah, to be honest, that is my first time going to the party of others. haiz~i did being invited last time, but i turn the invitation down. so, its just all my fault. hahaha :D hopefully everything will going smoothly. i'm not just worried about the costume but also the present. i don't know what to buy for her and fortunately, she's a girl. LOL XD if he's a boy, ohh~ i don't know what to give to him. ekekeke :D well, maybe on this week i'll try to bring my parent to maybe to ToysRUs or maybe to ToysWorld to get something for her. hehehei~ we can't just simply attend the birthday party without any present eh? ahahha :D that's rude. anyway, i'm worried about all of it. ekeke :D

and another things that i am very demanding for the time being is a brand new phones. Urgh! i can't stand to use my old phones. it just i'm bored listening to only two song. can you imagine that? that is just too limited for music-freakos like me! hopefully i can confronted both of my parent and tell them that i really need to get new phone a.s.a.p if they want me to stop loitering on the web. hehehe :) yes, my reason of surfing the web is because i want to listen to music lah. haiz~ if i can get new phones, i just put every song that i have in my Lappy and put it all inside the phones. ekeke :D urghh~ i'm so badly desperately want a new phone! oh God, hear my wish. hope i can have the phone that i desire the most! AMEN!

and also, i've been started to make story again. i make two new story this time. ekeke :D about what? well, that's a secret as i'm just getting started. I'll post it here after i finish writing it all :) it just short story, hopefully. ekeke :D so, i guess, that is all i wanted to tell for now. it's almost midnight now. so, good night and God Bless all of you~ thanks for reading (even if you guys only wanted to download the pictures :))

P.S : let your smile cover up your tears :)

VISION OF HELL FIRE AND FALLING FIRES

RAPTURE MIGHT BE VERY NEAR, STAY PREPARED ALWAYS AND MAINTAIN YOUR VIGILANCE.
by Apostle Chris Barnabas-Kargbo on Friday, June 16, 2011 at 8:03pm


PEOPLE ALL OVER THE WORLD, I AM NOT WRITING THIS VISION TO YOU TO MAKE YOU PANIC, SELL, GIVE AWAY YOUR BELONGINGS OR STOP WORKING IN ORDER TO WAIT FOR RAPTURE BUT THAT YOU DO EVERYTHING WITH ALL CAREFULNESS KNOWING THAT THE SECOND COMING OF THE LORD, WHO IS JESUS AS ANNOUNCED BY THE PROPHETS AND THE APOSTLES IN THE SCRIPTURE IS VERY NEAR AND SOON AS WELL AS THE DAYS OF SCARY BURNING FIRE. PLEASE! PLEASE!! PLEASE!!! LET US WAKE UP; RAPTURE IS AT OUR DOORSTEP ALREADY. TODAY, THE 16TH OF JUNE 2011 AT ABOUT 3.00 AM, I WOKE UP TO A MORNING PRAYER AND AS IN BED SINGING CHORUSES AND PRAYING, I FELT THE HOLY SPIRIT CAME UPON ME IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PRAYER (MY EXPERIENCE OF THE HOLY SPIRIT IS WHAT I CAN DESCRIBE AS A CHILLING, FRIENDLY, ENJOYABLE AND EXCITING SHOCKS THAT RAPS AROUND OR CLOTHS ME AS I PRAY, PREACH OR IN VISION AND DURING REVELATION)



AT CERTAIN STAGE IN THAT PRAYER MODE, I NOTICED THAT I WAS ALREADY SPEAKING IN TONGUES AND MAKING OCCASIONAL DECLARATIONS UNTIL I LOST CONTROL OF MY PHYSICAL AWARENESS.



FIRSTLY, I SAW MYSELF SUFFERING AND WORKING SO HARD IN A BAKERY AND BEING VERBALLY ABUSED BY THE OWNER OF THE BAKERY WHO HAPPENED TO BE A WOMAN. THEN, JUST AS I WAS SITTING SOMEWHERE FEELING SAD, I OVERHEARD SOMEONE FROM AN UPSTAIRS BUILDING SAYING; LET US MAKE CHRIS A GREAT MAN OF GOD, AND THE OTHER PERSON WHO’S VOICE I RECOGNIZED TO BE THE VOICE OF A PASTOR I KNOW PHYSICALLY SAID TO THE FIRST SPEAKER; WHAT DOES IT TAKE TO MAKE A GREAT MAN OF GOD! (MEANING I ALREADY GOT WHAT IT TAKES TO MAKE A GREAT MAN OF GOD BY MY PERCEPTION IN THE VISION) THEREAFTER I FOUND MYSELF IN FRONT OF A LARGE HALL WHERE BELIEVERS BOTH YOUNG AND OLD, BLACKS AND WHITES, MALE AND FEMALE WERE PRAYING VERY VIGOROUSLY TOGETHER. I COULDN’T GET IN BECAUSE MY SHIRT WAS VERY UNKEMPT (THE VERY ONE I WAS WEARING IN THE BAKERY TO DO WORK) SO I TOOK A THOUGHT TO LEAVE THE CHURCH PREMISES. AS I ATTEMPTED, I FELL IN FRONT OF THE CROWD THAT WERE AT THE OVERFLOW. I BECKON FOR HELP BUT NO BODY CAME TO SUPPORT ME STAND ON MY FEET, RIGHT THERE, I STARTED FELLING SOMETHING MOVING INSIDE OF MY BODY MUCH LIKE I WAS GOING THROUGH DELIVERANCE. THEN, OF A SUDDEN, I FOUND MYSELF NO LONGER AT THE CHURCH PREMISES WHERE I FELL INITIALLY BUT AT A PLACE THAT LOOKS VERY MUCH LIKE A TRASH-GROUND SOAKED AND SOILED ALL OVER AND STILL STRUGGLING AND UNABLE TO STAND ON MY FEET WITH NO ONE AROUND ME, I STARTED NURSING HOPE THAT JESUS WAS GOING TO COME AND HELP ME OUT OF MY SITUATION. JUST AS I WAS THERE STILL STRUGGLING TO PUT MYSELF TOGETHER, A YOUNG MAN OF MY SAME AGED 36, WALKED TO ME AND STRETCHED FORTH HIS LEFT HAND TOWARDS ME. I TOOK A GRAB IMMEDIATELY AND STOOD ON MY FEET, WE STARTED SETTING OFF LIKE GOING SOMEWHERE STILL HOLDING HIM HAND IN HAND WITH HIM IN FRONT LEADING, SO I TRIED TO TAKE A LOOK AT HIS FACE IN A WAY TO SEEKING TO KNOW HIM SO THAT I COULD INTERACT WITH HIM BUT HE WOULDN’T TALK TO ME; I NOTICED. HIS EYES LOOKS FRIENDLY, BEAUTIFUL AND ATTRACTIVE, SUCH THAT I HAVE NEVER SEEN ON ANYBODY IN THE WORLD. HE WALKED ME A LITTLE DISTANCE FROM WHERE HE HAD HELPED ME STOOD ON MY FEET AND I STARTED SEEING FIRE FALLING FROM THE SKY LIKE HEAVY RAIN HITTING ALL OVER AND BURNING ALL GRASSES, WOODS AND JUST EVERYTHING AROUND WITH FLAMES LIKE A BURNING MASSIVE FIELD. THEN, IT OCCURRED TO ME TO LOOK AHEAD AND I LOOKED AND BEHOLD, A FIERY BURNT LARGE AREAS WITH NOTHING IN SIGHT OTHER THAN HOT-RED FIRE WITHOUT FLAMES THAT COULD ONLY BE DESCRIBE AS A BURNING FURNACE AS THE BIBLE PUTS IT OR LIKE A FIELD OF MANY BURNT RED-HOT IRONS LOOMING TO THE HEIGHT OF THE SKY AND POURING OUT PARTICLES OF FIRE AND MOVING GRADUALLY ENGULFING JUST EVERYTHING AND TOWARDS WHERE WE WERE COMING FROM. ON SEEING THIS, I PULLED OFF MY HAND FROM HIS HAND AND SET OFF TOWARD THE DIRECTION WHERE HE HAD EARLIER HELPED ME STOOD ON MY FEET AS HE DISAPPEARED. IT IS NOT ANYTHING TO COMPARE WITH THE FIRE OF A VOLCANIC ERUPTION. WE WERE NEAR TO HELL FIRE, I PERCEIVED. THE FIRE WASN’T YET MUCH AT THE AREA I RAN TO, BUT IT WAS STILL POURING FROM THE SKY. THEN, I LOOKED UP IN THE SKY HAVING ESCAPED THE HOTTEST REGION IN ANTICIPATION TO SEEING A SIGN OF JESUS COMING BUT THERE WAS NOTHING EXCEPT THESE PARTICLES OF FIRE RAINING FROM ALL OVER THE SKY. SUDDENLY, I MET A GROUP OF BELIEVERS I RECOGNIZED ARE FROM THE CHURCH I CO-FOUNDED WITH A BROTHER WHO IS NOW THE GENERAL OVERSEER, CALLED ‘CALVARY ARMY MINISTRIES IN MY COMMUNITY IN 1994. THEY WERE GATHERING UNDER A HUT. I STAGGERED THROUGH THEM TIREDLY AS I WAS WEAKENED LIKE A DRUNK. BY THIS TIME, AS I WALKED THROUGH THEM. THE HOLY SPIRIT CAME UPON ME AND I STARTED POURING OUT TONGUES AGAIN. I TRIED TO STOP THE TONGUE ON MY OWN SO THAT I COULD TALK TO THEM IN A LANGUAGE THEY COULD UNDERSTAND BUT I COULDN’T. THEN, I WENT OVER TO ANOTHER AREA, JUST A DISTANCE AHEAD OF THEM.



I FOUND A SHADOWY PLACE WHERE I TOOK A LITTLE REST, BUT THE FIRE KEPT FALLING. SO I MANAGE OUT OF CURIOSITY TO PICK A PIECE OF THE FALLING FIRE TO EXAMINE WHAT IS IT THAT IS BURNING AND FALLING FROM THE SKY. I DISCOVERED IT WAS LIKE ACHES FROM BURNT WIRES. JUST AS I WAS THERE IN THE SHADOWY PLACE ALMOST LIKE IN A HIDING, I OVERHEARD A GIRLFRIEND ACCUSING HER BOYFRIEND OF MAKING HER TO MISS RAPTURE AND HAVE DUMPED HER FOR ANOTHER LADY. SHE WAS ARGUING AND TAKING A STAND THAT SHE WOULD NO LONGER HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH HIM. FROM HER CLAIM, IT LOOKED SHE WAS A CHRISTIAN BUT MISSED RAPTURE DUE TO FORNICATION. THEN, SHE SAID SHE WAS GOING TO FIGHT FOR THE LAST CHANCE AND THAT THE BOYFRIEND SHOULD NOT COME NEAR HER ANYMORE BUT THE BOYFRIEND SEEMED UNCONCERNED AND RELAXED BECAUSE I DIDN’T HEAR HIM SAY ANY WORD. THEN I HEARD HER FRIEND (THE THIRD PARTY AND A LADY WHO IS A FRIEND TO THE GIRLFRIEND) TALKED TO HER IN AN ATTEMPT TO DISCOURAGE HER SAYING; WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT TO DO AGAIN, YOU NEED NOT BOTHER BECAUSE SO MANY PEOPLE HAVE GONE ALREADY.(MEANING MANY FAITHFUL BELIEVERS HAVE BEEN RAPTURED ALREADY) IT WAS HERE THAT I REALIZED THAT THERE IS A SECOND CHANCE BECAUSE I WASN’T AWARE THAT RAPTURE HAS TAKEN PLACE UNTIL I OVERHEARD THEIR ARGUMENT. IT MUST HAVE TAKEN PLACE AT THE TIME I BECAME CONSCIOUS OF MYSELF ON THE TRASH-GROUND AND WAS HELPED TO MY FEET BY THAT YOUNG MAN; I THOUGHT AND CONCLUDED. THEN, I MOVED OUT OF MY HIDING DETERMINING TO GO AND FIGHT FOR A SECOND CHANCE WHICH IS THE LAST CHANCE.

I WALKED A LITTLE LATER FROM THERE AND MET A LARGE CROWD OF PEOPLE BEING BEATEN, CONTROLLED, DRAGGED AND DRIVEN BACKWARD TO WHERE THEY WERE RUNNING FROM WHICH IS THE DIRECTION OF THE MOVING AND ENGULFING FIRE WITHOUT FLAME ALMOST LIKE A MOVING AND CONSUMING FURNACE BY DEMONS (THEY WERE HUMAN IN APPEARANCE WITH PAINTED SCARY FACES, BIGGER IN SIZES AND LOOKING TOUGH, THEY HAVE POWER TO PUSH A PERSON TO WHEREVER THEY WANT WITHOUT ANY RESISTANCE FROM THE INDIVIDUAL) THEY WERE PREVENTING PEOPLE FROM ESCAPING THROUGH THE LAST CHANCE. AS THE MASSIVE CROWD OF PEOPLE RUSHED TOWARDS A DIRECTION SIGNALING SAFETY. A KIND OF WHERE PEOPLE COULD RUN INTO AND BE FREE FROM THE FALLING FIRE, TORTURE AND TORMENTS OF THE DEMONS. THE AREA WAS MUCH BRIGHTER AND FRIENDLIER THAN ORDINARY DAYLIGHT BUT LOOKED LIKE DAYLIGHT.



AS I LIFTED MY EYES ABOVE THE CROWD AND SAW THE AREA, I ATTEMPTED TO RUN IN AN EFFORT TO BREAK THROUGH THE CROWD TOWARDS THE DIRECTION BUT A CERTAIN DEMON WITH A HEAVILY WHITE PAINTED FACE WAYLAYED ME AND PUSHED ME BACKWARD. I ATTEMPTED TO FIGHT HIM OFF MY WAY, BUT HE PUSHED ONE OF HIS RIGHT FINGERS THROUGH MY LEFT EYES AND I LOST THAT ONE, HE THEN GRABBED ME IN THE SOCKET OF MY PUNCTURED LEFT EYE AND DRAGGED ME TO THE GROUND TOWARDS WHERE I HAD PREVIOUSLY ESCAPED AND WANTING TO GO TO THE PLACE OF DAYLIGHT (THE PLACE OF HEAVILY BURNT AND ENGULFING FIRE) I MAINTAIN MY STRUGGLE SCREAMING AND CRYING; JESUS, I WANT YOU, I WANT YOU, I DON’T MIND EVEN THOUGH I LOST EVERYTHING ON MY BODY, I WANT JESUS AND ONLY HIM. THEN, HE PUSHED HIS FINGER THROUGH MY MOUTH IN A WAY TO STOP ME SHOUTING AND CRYING JESUS, AND I BIT THE FINGER HARDER BUT IT WOULDN’T HURT HIM, NO MATTER WHAT I DO AS I PERCEIVED. HOWEVER, HE REMOVED HIS FINGER AND I CONTINUE MY PERSISTENT CRY TO SEE JESUS. I TOLD HIM, HE WOULD RATHER KILL ME BUT I MUST SEE JESUS. IT WAS AT THIS STAGE THAT MY PHONE RANG IN THE PHYSICAL AND I OPEN MY EYES AND PICKED THE CALL, TALKED TO THE SISTER THAT CALLED AND SHARED THE VISION FIRST HAND WITH HER IN BRIEF. BY THIS TIME, IT HAS GONE 8.30 AM WHEN I CHECKED MY WATCH. THE VISION MUST HAVE LASTED MORE THAN FIVE HOURS. MY SISTER THAT CALLED THAT HOUR IS RICHLY BLESSED WITH THE ANOINTING TOO. THINK ABOUT THIS VISION OF RAPTURE AND THOSE THAT WOULD MISS IT. IT IS REAL AND COMING ON US ON EARTH BUT THE EXACT DAY AND HOUR REMAINS UNKNOWN. BE WARNED. MAY GOD BLESSED HIS VISION AND PRESERVE US FOR HIS GLORY ALONE IN JESUS’ MIGHTY NAME. AMEN.

N/B. BRETHREN, STRIVE AND FIGHT HARDER TO ENSURE A PLACE IN THE RAPTURE OF THE FIRST FRUITS OF OUR LORD AND SAVIOR WHO IS JESUS CHRIST THAN TO SLIP DOWN FOR SECOND AND LAST CHANCE; IT IS SO SCARY AND DREADFUL. IT IS GONNA BE VERY SORROWFUL FOR THOSE THAT WOULD BE LEFT BEHIND. NO MATTER THESE TORMENTS AND TORTURE, NO BODY IS FREE TO HELP ANY BODY BECAUSE ALL FACES DIFFERENT TOUGH CHALLENGES FROM THE DEMONS WITH NO SIGN OR CHANCE OF WINNING BUT TO DIE FOR THEIR FAITH IF WILLING.



GOING BY WHAT I SAW AND EXPERIENCED IN THIS VISION, NO HUMAN BORN OF HUMAN WAS ABLE TO PENETRATE, ESCAPE OR CROSS OVER INTO THE PLACE OF SAFETY THROUGH THESE DEMONS THAT WERE ON GUARD.



STUDY: REVELATION 13:1-18, 14:1-20, 20:1-15, 21:1-27, 22:8-17.



IF YOU TRULY BELIEVE IN THE SECOND COMING OF JESUS CHRIST AND THE RAPTURE OF HIS FIRST FRUITS; PRINT THIS VISION AND SHARE WITH ANY TWO PERSONS.

UNTIL THEN, TAKE CARE AND REMAIN BLESSED, SEE YOU IN PARADISE AND GOODBYE TO HELL FIRE.

Can't Handle It! Everything Seem Completely Wrong :(

AnnyeongHaseyo, everyone :) today is another day I write my blog. yeah, I've been very busy lately as i have to attend the extra classes and the song practices. i really need rest for this weekend. hopefully nothing can stop me from resting. Urgh.. i feel so tired this week, i always going home late like 4p.m. Neomu Apayo :( hahahaha. well, its only for this year right? yeah. Next year i'm going to rest after SPM result come out, there i'm going to further my study. Huh, hopefully i really can further my study to foreign university, AMEN. hahaha :) Oh, SPM is 4 month ahead and i haven't done any revision yet. How to do revision if i haven't done my homework? ha? ha? tell me.. hahaha :D anyway its all my own fault de. I should discipline myself and put homework as my priority before i done anything unimportant like, Blogging. hehehei. I really do want to stop myself to prioritize anything that is not related to SPM but i just couldn't. Actually i can but i just can't help it :(

Oh, its raining, thundering outside. so badly. to be honest, i don't really like thunder even though i love rainy days. hahaha :) yeah, right now i should be scare but i'm not because i know that i'm protected by His blessing towards me. hehehe :) i love HIM for always be there and protect me from every evil. Ah, talking about evil. Yesterday my stupid brother gone mad because mum wasn't at home. i don't really know about it but for sure he really mad at mum. To be honest, i don't think he can scold mum for not being at home because mum is the one who gave him money, shelters even shirts. even how much mum cry, she always pray for his safety. I don't understand why he being so rude towards mum. doesn't he ever felt the love that mum always gave him since he was brought to this world? I just don't get it. even both of my parent care more about him than me. Actually, i am the one who suppose to be mad at this house as i'm just invisible here. Well, I'm glad though for not becoming crazy like him. hahahaha :) well, i'm so mad, hate, angry, dislike him right now. whenever i think about what he done to mum, i can't take it. i just pissed. i'm clueless. what more he want mum to give him? he had more than enough. even i think millionaire's son won't have the easiest live like he had. he don't even go to work. all he do is sleep then ask for money, bringing his friends home to hang out till dawn. then mum gives him enough food and then he scold mum. DUH! i just don't understand. Well, maybe that because he needs that thing so much. i mean, the drugs. Yes, i suspected him to involved in drugs. even my intuitive strongly say YES. My Lord, can you please tell me if my intuitive is right or wrong. I just demand for an answer.
     And to be honest, i sometimes wished my brother to die. haha :) i'm so bad eh? i know. but that only when i pissed off lah. sometimes i wonder, why can't i have normal family like my friends does? why must i have this kind of complicated family and troublesome brother? these are one of the reason why I don't want to grow up. growing up making you notice what you never notice when you are young. When you're young, you don't really care whether you hurting other's feeling or what happen at your surrounding. all you care about is your friends and the games you're about to play. I miss that childhood stuff. hmm...hmm.. whether i like it or not, i have to grow up right? i have no other choice. so, i think i better be calm and try not to mix my personal problems and school problems together. if not, i'm going to be dead-meat and have no future. LOL :D

Another thing that i am so worry about is of course, SPM. i wonder, will i ever make it? can i get the best mark ever or can i get straight A+ for my SPM? well, it only 4 month left. what can i do in this 4 month? for sure i don't know what i should do. hahaha :) i'm blur to death. eishh! i wish i never been this stupid. i just knew that Science subject is the most important subject to pass if i want to further my study and Tett, i failed every single science subjects that i took. LOL XD very funny. Chemistry and Mathematics, I have a bit progression i think. the problem now is Biology, Additional Mathematics and Physic. GAH! i'm so blur on what to do. how can i pass the science subject if History is already that hard for me to get A? i don't know what to do. no one is able to help me now unless i want to help myself. So, i really make up my mind that i want to do revision on this coming month of July. I really really really should revise or maybe do some practices. practice make perfect, right? so, that is what i'm going to do. then, we'll see whether in third trial later on, do i have progression or my grades are getting worsen. Ugh! hopefully not going to be worsen. hahaha :) i'm so scare and nervous. I may look relax, but inside, i'm trembling. hahaha :) haishh.. i started to feel sleepy lah. i don't knowlah.. because just now i thought of doing my homework after i update my blog but i guess today is not the day because i still can feel the tiredness. eishh.. tomorrow going home late again. I got Chemistry's extra classes and so do the song practices. Haizh..


I guess, that is all I want to tell for now. I want to rest my body a bit before i fell sick and miss one day of school. if i miss even just for 24 hours, i know that i miss many stuff. hehehe. i don't want to be the Blitz. ekeke :) so, see you guys in my next post. hehehe. annyeongiGaseyo! and sweet dream~
so, to end this post, i end it with Yu Ha Min's New picture :) ENJOY!

P.S : Let Your Smile Cover Up Your Tears :)