What's In My Mind :)

Awwww
Look at his puppy eyes! Omoooooooooooooo
I wish he look at me that way. hahahaha :)
Anyhow, today I'm Mrs. Ackles. hahahaha :) Yeah (=^__^=)
I just came back from Tumblr and I went to Dean Winchester tagged and spending my whole morning there. huahahaha :)
Well, not really whole morning as I woke up at around 9 today. wee
Anyhow, the reason I'm writing right now is that because I feel like updating lah. hahahahaha :)
No good reason though

and just now, as I'm going to search for Luke Castellan pictures, I saw Logan Lerman. Well, not really shocking though as they we're both starred in Percy Jackson, right? So I ignore lah. Then I went to hunt for Josh Hutcherson pictures, and I was like  LOGAN LERMAN?! what's the connection between Logan and Josh? hahahaha :D As far as I knew, they never starred in the same movie. hahahahha :D So, out of the blue, I have this little crazy fan girl ideas. so, check out below;

ahahahaha :) I don't know about you, but I think it funny though. ehehei :) Well, yeah... I'm a crazy fan girl of him. huahahahaha :D It..it just random thought. I have feeling that now I really have no chance to be his girlfriend. huahahaha :) Why I said so?

Well, last few days ( i think few weeks I don't know) I search for What Kind of Girl Logan Lerman like/love? so I read in this one website which I found really breaking my heart. huahahaha :D which it said that Logan Lerman like some sweet girl, who is funny and love musics and Movie as much as he does. ( sound like me, huahahaha. just that I'm not sweet. I'm sour )  But then, I noticed that it also said that he doesn't like girl who is a stalker and yeah, I'm somewhat a pro-stalker. huahahaha :) I stalk his twitter like almost everyday and I search for his picture like 24/7 and then the reason I hang out at Tumblr is to find gif picture of him. So, when I read this, I was like  yeah. I feel like end of the world. hahahaha :D So, I told my sis Jaba about it and she tell me to get over Logan and asked me to starting to like Josh Hutcherson. But Hutcherson wasn't really my type of guy. Well, yeah I do adore him and I love his muscle (Wooo) and I do like all his movies but I never like him as much as I like Logan >..< Yeah, I'm completely obsessed with Logan Lerman. Well, actually not before Milo Ernest character is exist. hahahaha :) Yeah, I actually never really like Logan Lerman. I like Milo Ernest. huahahaha :) Milo isn't from any official novel or movies. He just one of my sister fictional character. if you read my previous previous previous post, you know what I mean. and Logan Lerman is Milo Ernest in that Movie. huahahaha :) I just love it when he was paired with the strategist from Levedad, Fina Russo ( which is the girl name is Fergiee Fina Russo, my sister take my precious name ) huahahaha :)))

Enough about the sad stuff. I'm just pouring what I've been feeling like for few days now. hahahaha :) Just kidding, it just randomly popped out from my mind. ehehehei  Now, I have  Dean Winchester, my long lost love. hahahahaha :) I will forget Logan Lerman but I'll stay with Percy Jackson and Simon Silverstone. hahahahaha :))) Anyhow, I would want to promise myself once more that "NO MORE OBSESS WITH CELEBRITY CRUSH" hahahahaha :) Just liking them like normal, not obsess like until want to marry them la, be their girlfriend la. hahahaha :D that's sick! only psychopath do that ( Well, that's inner me) hahahaha :)
Wish me luck in that. huahahaha :D

SO,
now I'm going to ship Josh Hutcherson as he don't even care if his fans stalking him. hahaha :) that's how fans show their love towards their celebrity crush. ohohohoho :) I FRIGGIN LOVE YOU JOSH!

Yes, Josh Hutcherson.

I choose you

like Ash choose Pikachu.

hahahaha :)

Just kidding.

I'm your fans since Brigde of Terabithia. 

But that time

I hate you for leaving Leslie Burke.

hahahaha :)

So, YEAH.

and Luke approves! hahahahahaha :)

I'm currently in love with Hollywood Undead. Well, yeah. I'm freaking love this guys! hahahaha :D their lyrics are beyond awesome and I love it how they express how they feel about the world converting it into their songs. Oh My... I don't know guys, even though they cursing a lot in the lyrics like most of the time. hahaha :) I think this world, where we lives nowadays seriously deserve all the fucking curse words. yeah, I said it. I hate this new world of ours. I rather lives in the past where the kids know how to play outside, never worried about how beautiful they are, don't know what loves is but just full with imagination. I prefer kids with wild imagination rather than kids with iPad, iPhones, blackberrys, or what-so-ever gadgets today. That stuff aren't for them, they should play real games like played tagged, running around the playground and be active, not sit in the room, chatting, play angry birds, 24/7 looking on the screen, facebooking, crushing at each other.They are too young to be in love. They probably know NOTHING about loves. Me, 18 years old, still don't know what's loves is while kids around 9, 10 already stated their mind about loves. Does it really what loves mean?

I don't know man.

I just don't feel right.

If this will continuously happen,

future generation of ours

will dooms 

and kids will probably doesn't know what's imagination is,

and they probably will think that

imagination is just something ridiculous. 

and NO,

they are wrong

Imagination is what makes them lives their world nowadays

Imagination is the source where creator mkaes gadget like iPhone, PS2, games...

Imagination make us a better world

Imagination in other words is ART

without ART,

earth is just EH.?

You want to live in EH or eARTh?

You choose,

Little fella.

So, againwe have to say goodbye.So, here is my newest picture to end this post :)Josh Hutcherson ( My Most Favourite )and my Milo Ernest :)and not to forget, My Kevin McHaleSo, thanks for stopping byand yeahPlease work together with me to make a better worldDon't let Imagination Sink like TitanicWe have powerand We can make this world a Better Place :)God Bless You Always :)

 


Peace Out!
P.S : Let Your Smile Cover Up Your Tears :)

This Happens When My Randomness Attack (=^.^=)

Yeah, Percy would definitely raging in anger now. hahahaha :)
And obviously, I'm now Mrs. Castellan. Like it or not, I'm officially Mrs. Castellan. hahahahahahaha
I'm in love with his two front big teeth. hahahaha :) Sounded ridiculous right?
But yeah, like seriously I thinks it so damn cute. hehehei :)
What can I do? I always attracted to something unexpected.
And now, he and Percy have to share me. huahahahaha  ( Delusional Mood is on the top of the galaxy )
Anyhow, I'm not liking Jake Abel. I don't even know him, ehehehe :) I just love Luke Castellan. and Honestly, it's not Logan Lerman which I like, it is Percy Jackson and Simon Silverstone. hahahahaha :)
That's the truth yaw!

So, enough talking about it as I'm now (For Now) I'm belong to Luke Castellan's two front teeth. hahahahahahaha :)

Yeah, I'm sorry to, Percy. hahahaha :) He just a better fighter than you are. Huahahahaha XD Seriously, it's not what I want to say. hahaha :) A bit out off the rail, I may say. ngeee <3 Well what I wanna say is that, I know that like obviously you can heard that my blog background song turn from kpop, cute, romance, heartbroken, upbeat to hardcore rock. hahahaha :) Yeah, I was like  I don't know why the sudden changes! hahahaha :) This happen after few days I've been straightly listening to Danger Radio and then I started to search for pictures of cute emo guy ( ahahaha ) and after that I ended up in Youtube listening to Screamo and what-so-ever rock song. hahahaha :) And yeah, right now I'm falling in love with Escape The Fate, Danger Radio, Vampire Everywhere, Hollywood Undead and Bring Me The Horizon. hahahaha :) No, I don't really like the bandmates as I'm not really into guy with lots of tattoes. It's kinda freaking me out. hahahaha XD but yeah, I'm falling in love the sounds of their musics, their appeareances and their voices. OMO  I love the sounds of the guitar bebeyh! hahahaha :) And like seriously, I'm more into Escape the Fate, my most favourite song from ETF is I'm Not A Vampire but unfortunately, the embedding is disallowed by SCMPlayer

I don't really know what's happening to me but yeah, all the beat that produced from their music instruments make me calmer and I feel like I'm being me. I feel like the old me is Back. Yeah, seriously I'm a rock die hard fans. hahahahaha :) But as I grew up, I'm more to pop end up in Kpop. But then, jRocks music brought me back. Yeah, this is my music! Screamo, Rock and Roll! :D Not to forget, Alternative rock as well. huahahaha :) and besides, most of the rockers, can sing without autotunes. Not most, I think all of them can sing lively without autotunes. Yeah, spring salutions. hehehei :) FOREVER MUSIC INDUSTRIES!

Okay, now I'm going to use this opportunity to send my Congratulation to Adele Adkins for winning all the 6 awards in Grammy :) Oh my God! I always adore her voice since the first time I listened to her song. And I still remember the first time I listened her singing live, tears running down on my cheeks. I could feel her emotion from the way sing she out and through her lyrics. Oh My, and my first thought of her was 'She is One OF THE BEST SINGER THAT EVER LIVE!' Hail Adele! hahahaha :) and and while everyone else think she's fat, I think she's fabulous and she has that cute face though. But seriously, no matter if she skinny or fat or average, as long as she had the talent, she's the best. Who we are to judge anyway? Music doesn't count look and sized. All that matter is the talent and the beautiful sound from the singers. That's what I call as music. You don't have to run around the stage to get attention from fans when you have that beautiful voice which definitely will attracts thousands, millions of human on earth :) That's true.

And yeah, today I'm having shopping day with sis Jon and Shawny. Sis Jon bought purple crystal pendant which i think very very cute one. and I bought myself newest episode of User by Zint. YEAH! I've been waiting for like 3 month for it. hahahaha :) Finally, i can make my inner otaku-self satisfied. WOHOO! thanks so much Zint! And no, I haven't read it yet maybe in the morning :) And I also bought some book much like diary. I don't really know what kind of book it is, I bought it because I found it cute, besides, it's One Piece. huahahaha :)) I love to buy stuff randomly. ekekeke :) And YEAHH! My prayer is answered! I bought Supernatural season 1 today! WOHOO  Thank you My Lord for the great blessing! Such blessing is rare! hahahaha :) I've been carving to watch supernatural like for few days now. hahahaha :) I was thinking if I didn't have driving class this Monday, I will watch it and finished it on Monday but if I do, then I'll start on Tuesday Morning :) Oh God, hopefully I don't have class this Monday! Please make it Wednesday! AMEN! ehehehe :) Not that I don't like to come for the driving class, it just that I feel like my driving instructor doesn't really like me. I mean, ya know... I'm very unpleasant looking when I'm with someone I don't really know. You can ask everyone that have known me for few years, like what are their first impression on me. I tell you, they definitely will answer you, "She's Arrogant" or "I dislike her," or something like, "She's really unfriendly." hahahaha  Oh well, I'm a Capricorn. I have trust issues. hehehehehe :) but those who know me, they know I'm just some delusional girl who always lost in her thought, hardcore otaku, annoying and very talkative. Heh. Don't believe? Ask my sisters. they know very well XD

About my story, I'm still trying my very best on doing chapter 7  I'm working hard and really seriously trying my best to do it but still, I can't manage to finish it >.< Not that I'm lazy but you know when there's are too many words you don't know how to express in English ( as the story is in english ) you will get so depressed. hahaha :) If according to myself, I would use bahasa rojak in the story like making sentences sound like for example " today, we're going to makai at the gerai mamak," hahahahaha :D I seriously want to do it. I did use Google Translate as my assistance and yeah, it's help a lot. but too bad, google translate can't translate Ibanese.  That's the most depressing moment in my life. hahahaha :) When this kind of situation happens to me, I will easily pissed and I don't feel like doing it for the whole day. I'm giving up easily but I'll continued it some other day. And yeah, I'm very good in imagination but I'm the lousiest writer ever. I can't convert my imagination into words. That's my biggest weakness in Art World.
P.S : I'm really easily distracted.

so, I'm reaching the closing now. Well, short message for Jake Abel then :)

if you ( Jake Abel ) is reading this;

JUST HONESTLY TO SAY THAT

I'M NOT YOUR BIGGEST FANS

AS I ONLY LIKE YOUR CHARACTER AS

LUKE CASTELLAN.

BUT I WANT TO HONESTLY CONFESS TO YOU THAT

I THINK I'M IN LOVE WITH YOUR

CUTE TWO BIG FRONT TEETH

YOUR SMILE MESMERIZED ME AND 

YOUR OCEAN BLUE EYES CAUGHT MY BREATHE

WALAWEH! ~

JUST KIDDING.

I JUST LOVE THE COLOR OF YOUR EYES.
AND THE TEETH THINGS, IS NO KIDDING. HAHAHA :)

ANYHOW, FOR SHORT

YOU'RE CUTE AND YOU KNOW IT! 

STAY CUTE, BRETHEN :)

HOPE TO SEE YOU IN LOTS OF MOVIES :)

BE HAPPY WITH YOUR FIANCEE :)

P.S : Mrs. Castellan

so, Umm... here we are. Closing!I hope you guys enjoy reading ithuahaha :)
So, thank you for wasting some of your time :)And God Bless You Always :DI love you!
So, here is Percy and Luke pictures and I edited it a little. ehehehe :)Enjoy XD

Prayer to Saint Michael the Archangel :)

Sáncte Míchael Archángele, 

defénde nos in proélio, 

cóntra nequítiam et insídias diáboli ésto præsídium. 

Ímperet ílli Déus,

 súpplices deprecámur: tuque, 

prínceps milítiæ cæléstis, 

Sátanam aliósque spíritus malígnos,

 qui ad perditiónem animárum pervagántur in múndo, 

divína virtúte, in inférnum detrúde.

 Ámen

May He Protect you from all evil :)

P.S : Let Your Smile Cover Up Your Tears :)

Keep Your Head Up Because You Got Me Backing You Up :)

Ola, Pgie is in the house! Oh!

Scratch that..

Mrs.Lerman is in the house!

Wait!

I'm Mrs. Ackles now. ( remarrying Jensen Ackles )

Eh? NO! wait!

I'm Mrs. McHale!
Umm..

hahahaha :D And now, I'm quite confuse who am I exactly marrying with.
Oh well, I'll decide it later :)
I have so much to tell you today
Well, not really that MUCH
just few
still, it will be quite long though.
hahahaha :)

"NOW, NOW, LOGAN. DON'T GET MAD. YOU ALWAYS BE MY NUMBER ONE HUSBAND :)"

-as none of my siblings and friends seems to be crazy about you-

-I'm the only person, though-

 

So, let me start with what happen to me yesterday. hahaha :) Yeah, I know yesterday was Valentine's Day but instead of celebrating that ( Which I never done before ) I went for driving test. Well, to be honest I was quite shock when my driving tester told me that i'm gonna test exactly on Valentine' Day. hahaha  Yeah, I'm not happy but not because I can't celebrate Valentine's day but because he had told me that I'm gonna test on 27 FEBRUARY! I've set my mind on 27th. Yeah, I'm half pissed. hahaha :D and then, yesterday I failed the section 2 test but I passed the road test :) Thank God! But seriously, I thought I failed both because I didn't see the second paper which indicating my road test. Yeah, I told mum that I failed both. ahahaha  If I did failed both, I'm totally going to kill myself. hahaha :D But Thank God! Thank God, I passed the road test! So, on 27 February, I only going to be tested on the parking lots. Wish me luck!

Kay, next up is about my story :)
I've been writing chapter 6 since morning. OMO! DID YOU GET THAT?!
I'M WRITING CHAPTER 6!  I never thought I would manage to write that long. Well, it is long as I'm usually writing 4 pages per chapter. Heh, I'm amazing! hahahaha XD Like seriously, I was abandoning chapter 5 for like 2 days ( If I'm not mistaken ) and yeah, I almost give up that time. I don't really have ideas and my mind is swirling and I'm started to see another dimensions. hahaha :) Just Kidding, but seriously, I'm stunted. My brain didn't function well that time. but then, I suddenly have the spirit to keep on writing. Well, let me tell you a secret that is not really a secret. hahaha :)

Actually, I was moved by Jaba's story and how she keep on writing it. Then, when she commented / making reviews on my chapters, I feel moved and I wanted to continue on writing it. I feel like appreciated, hahaha :) I just love it when there someone tells me that they like my story. Any kind of story actually. And yeah, like seriously, this one is my very first fighting and supernatural story. I don't know how to write this kind of story as I'm more into writing romances and friendships kind of story. ehehei :) But yeah, I'm moved by her. Like I said, she inspired me in world of writing.

but, today. I saw her hanging out at Tumblr. She was nagging about she doesn't have ideas to write chapter 18 ( Yeah, 18 chapters in just one month ) I was like . But well, as Miss Optimist I knew she must be tired. hehehe :) yalah, who wouldn't? she had been working so hard for like a month :) But THEN, she told me that she wasn't able to concentrated on VS because she kept on thinking about LastLove and again I was like . She shouldn't have to think about Last Love first as it was going to be both of us who's going to do it. She got me to back her up, right? We can talk about it, Like when we're meeting each other this weekend. Seriously, when she told me this I kinda lost interest a bit in writing chapter 6. hahahaha :D #TrueStoryBro. But then, I think back. I shall give her support so that she could have that little hopes and realized that me ( her top reader and top stalker ) is waiting for her to publish the next chapter.

That is the least I can do. As she always give me motivational supports when  i feel like I can't continued the story anymore. So, now it's my turn to give her motivational support, boosting her confident to keep writing and keep her on track so that she wouldn't be distracted by the love story. I also wanted to continue the last love, Seriously. I AM and I've been longing to write that story like for ages hahaha ( Metaphor )

I told you, it's gonna be a long post. hahahaha :)
Yeah, right now I'm kinda out of topic on what should I write. hehehei :D And after posting this, I think I'm gonna continue writing chapter 6. hehehei :) I want to listen Jaba's review. yeah, I've tried my very best to write this one. hahahaha :) Nah, no action yet but will be soon. SOON and I mean it. hahahaha :) chapter 6 is only about they spending time in Athens, Capital City of Greece and also the moment they know something big is going to happen to them. hehehei :) What's gonna happen? WAIT~~ ehehei :) Patience is the key of success. hehehei XD

SO, that's my (not really latest) newest picture :) I edited it like yesterday. hahaha :) It's been a while though I didn't edit my pictures. So, that's one of many pictures of me being edited. hehehei :) 

So, that's all I wanna talk about :)Gonna continue chapter 6 now. hahahaha :) Suddenly ideas struck me.So, wish me luck!Hopefully I can finished it up this evening :))So, see you peeps in next post !

P.S Let Your Smile Cover Up Your Tears

Hatred Poems For My Brother

This broken pieces of heart
shattered to the ground
by the merciless of your heart
By the meaning of nothing
you crack this fragile souls
and make joy turns sorrowful

leaking thousands of tear drops
by the meaning of your stupid anger,
you broke my souls but you care not
you just care of your need
but i would wanna ask,
Have you ever thought of us?

Mum,
loves you more than anything
sacrifices her time and works
just to fulfill all your needs
you yelled
you cursed
you make her cry
but that never stop her from loving you
she give you everything you need
she bought you everything you wanted
she approves all your desires
but what did you give her in returns?
You just know how to crack her heart even more
you scratch the wounds she had restore
you killing her souls by each fucking hurting words you said to her.

You know I'm mad at you
I'm fucking mad at you
you should be my hero
not my stupid zero
you should guide me to be a better person
not some fucking person
you should be my second parent
not hurting our parent.
You should be the one who protecting my heart
not the one who scarred me for life.

Dad,
He may look senseless to you,
but everything he does is for you
he work hard and stay months in the sea
just to make sure us here having a wonderful life
he never mad, he never yell,
he just love, care and respects.
he loves you more than I am
you're the son and you're the eldest among us
he wants you to be a good son as well as a brother
but all you did to him is
you cursed him to death
you hate him for all your life
you make him lost in wisdom in words.
Still,
he had that tiny hopes
hoping you would change one day
and turns to a better person
Just like what he always wanted.

I do fucking hate you
i'm rarely hating people
but congratulations,
my loveliest brother
i may say
I fucking hate you now.
I don't care if hating you would cast me to hell
What I care most now is I fucking hate you
and all I ever wanted now
You're souls is going to hell and never is forgiven
Wish your souls tortured for eternal in the flame of hatred
May the devil chain your soul and torment it forever

You give me bad memories
I should have known
I should never ever give you another few chances of forgiveness
for you wasn't the right person
who deserves the fucking forgiveness.
I shall never cherish our siblings relationship ever again
I shall perish all memories about you from myself
For everything is meaningless to you
I'm just doing the fucking same.

Oh Lord,
forgive me for this
but I just don't feel he deserve my forgiveness anymore
He hurts my parent a lot and
I wasted my precious tears on someone like him
There are millions of people who needs my tears more than him
He just some fucking uncivilized person who is loved by many
but don't know how to be grateful.
He just some fucking stupid guy that I call as brother.