~2010 IS TOTALLY BAD YEAR FOR ME~
ANNYEONGHASEYO! A VERY LOONGGGG TIME NO SEE~ ahahaha XDD. YEAH! my purpose on putting Teukkie's photo as my start is just to show you guys how deep is his responsibility to his groupmates. he treats them very well and concern about them. he's the best leader. I wish i could be like him but i just can't be one. I'm the WORST class monitor that ever exist. yepp :D thats true. you know why? because i don't have what leader should have. i mean, i'm lack of resposibility, i don't really care what my classmates need, i'm too playful and act childishly and i'm just LACK OF EVERYTHING. i've told my class teacher about this and i even explain to her CLEARLY but still she didn't give me any answer. I don't deserve a second chance because i know, i can't change myself in a very short time. its take 2 or three years if people want to be very responsible. i'm very disappointed but for sure, i'm trying my best to be full responsible. thats is about my part in class.
I guess i never sort of problems. problems always come after me where ever i go. i took it as a challenge which GOD gives as my friends, Yie always said, He have His purpose on doing it. Well, maybe she's right. but i can't take it. i think i had enough. i'm so broken. almost everday, i see my mum cry. its all because of my stupid brother. asked for money non-stop! working?! if he talk about work, the world is nearly ended. i wish he was DEAD. my life is better without him and i can feel it and i'm pretty sure, my life will be wonderful without him and i think he's drug addict. Bad eh? IDK! i just wish he's dead! fullstop. he ruins my life, he breaks me from inside. he care? CHEH! hell no! he just care about himself! go to hell, laa bro! honestly i'm so freaking mad at him right now. not just now, everyday i hate him and i will hate him until i die. there nothing to forgive anymore. i try.. i try my best to not hate him. i know, hating people is sins but i'm already a sinner anyway. i wish i could go to somewhere where nobody there so that i can scream out loud. i could not lives like this anymore. living like my brother is no different like lives in Hell eventhough i never go there. And i haven't spoke nicely to my dad over this few days. he seem becoming more quieter. everythings change in this house. that's why i rather spend my whole day at school with my friends.
My problems doesn't ended there. Don't worry. ahaha XDD love life? yeah~ well, i admit i have crush with somebody but i think i want to forget about it. i'm tired of crushing. teehee <3. give up? maybe.. i think its better if i'm not crushing with anyone for now because i have a tons of problems to face. at least i can reduce my number of problems. ahaha XD actually, the one that i've been crushing with is actually crushing with someone that is hundred times more better than me. ahaha XDD and someone like him really don't deserve somebody, i mean someone 'nobody' like me~ i think it is more better if i just continue crushing on my korean boyfriends. ehehe XDD they really do shine my day. call me crazy, but HEY! their smile and voice make me feel much better~
its 3.13 a.m later i got moral test. and then i have to stayback and will be home at 4.30p.m. feuhh~ what a day heh? sleep? arr... i already take a short nap from 5p.m until 10.00p.m.. i think i rest more than enough already but i don't guarentee la whether i need to sleep or not. hehehe. wait and see later. if my eyes want to sleep, then i'll be sleep la. if not, then, i'll be awake for the whole day ^^. later on, i want to have a great laugh with my dearest besties and friends. i just want to make myself feeling more better. ahaha XD do my besties know? NOPE~ i didn't tell them. i don't want to worry them thats all. its my problems and they have nothing to do with it. my problems, i have to solve them my own. ^^. so, urmm.. that's all for now. i want to study my moral. ehehe XD don't want to fail for the second time. teehee <3. so, ADIOS!
Dearest UKISS will end my blog :D good Morning MIRI!
remember, let your smile be fake. just don't show others your sadness.