Cancer

Turn away,
If you could get me a drink 
Of water 'cause my lips are chapped and faded 
Call my aunt Marie
Help her gather all my things
And bury me in all my favorite colors, 
My sisters and my brothers, still, 
I will not kiss you, 
'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you. 

Now turn away, 
'Cause I'm awful just to see 
'Cause all my hairs abandoned all my body, 
Oh, my agony, 
Know that I will never marry, 
Baby, I'm just soggy from the chemo,
But counting down the days to go
It just ain't living
And I just hope you know

That if you say (if you say)
Goodbye today (goodbye today)
I'd ask you to be true (cause I'd ask you to be true)

'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you
'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you 

Humans

Deep, deep inside of your heart
There is a weight that still needs to be lifted
Cover it up, but the pain never stops
Sometimes I wish that you'd just listen

Deep, deep inside of yourself
There is a soul starving for some affection
Been waiting for years and the time passes by
All you ever wanted was to fit in

So I wrote you this song
I hope that you like it
Cause you light up my life
And I know you can fight this
You're the most beautiful girl in the world
And I wanted you to know

Constantly waiting for life
Starving for love to surround it

If you only looked right by your side
You'd find that it never had left you

You've lived through so much and seen so many things
Through your eyes and I wish you could just see
If it were up to me I would construct a key to your heart
And finally set you free

So I wrote you this song
I hope that you like it
'Cause you light up my life
And I know you can fight this
You're the most beautiful girl in the world
And I wanted you to know

You can call me
You've got no reason to hide

You're so lovely
Built with a beautiful mind

Wait for your time, it will come (you can call me)
And you will realize just how special you are (you've got no reason to hide)

There's not enough hate in the world (you're so lovely)
To bring you down (built with a beautiful mind)

Built with a beautiful mind (built with a beautiful mind)

So I wrote you this song
I hope that you like it
'Cause you light up my life
And I know you can fight this
You're the most beautiful girl in the world
And I wanted you to know 

Ridiculous, but Worth it (^___________________^)

<--- Love my eye :) hahahahaha. It's pretty, I know! hahahahahaha :D Undeniable gorgeous. huahaha :D
alright, enough self-praising. hahaha :)
Anyhow,
Greetings and yeah, I'm writing again. hahahahaha :) today, I got my internet connection back! WOOOO!!! I'm partying all night, hahahaha XD yesh! that's what I'm going to do tonight, partying all by myself, celebrating Internet Connection Comeback. hahahaha :D Oh damn, you never knew how bad is my life without internet. Everything sucks! well, except for Sherlock Holmes book. hahaha :D about the book, I stopped reading it for a while, maybe I'll read it up again after mum bought me the electronic dictionary, which is maybe take up 2 or 3 month ( waiting for my dad to come back from the sea) hahahaha :) Yeah, my dad is a mermaid. huahahaha XD he work at the sea. hahahaha :) Uh, to much haha-ing. hmmm... so, I got a lot to tell but not going to tell all lah. hahaha :D I want to keep some of it, which I think is too personal, for myself. hahaha :) Aww, don't cry... hahahaha :D Don't waste your precious tears, darling. hahahaha :)) So, let's get straight to business :)

Today, nothing much happen though. Just some random stuff. You know, stuff I hate and stuff I like. hehehe :) but everything kind of making me sick. Especially my brother and you know why. Seriously, I tried to hate him you know, but I just can't. But no, I don't love him or care about him anymore. In fact, most of the time, I wish for his life to be cut off soon for I'm tired of seeing him yelling at mum and make her look like some idiotic person. Urgh, feel like want to throw him into Sungai Miri already. hahahaha :P Honestly, I pitied him, actually. Because he doesn't know and doesn't even realize mum and dad loves him too much. He should be grateful for having such good and caring and patience parent right ours. Hmmm... seriously, I pity that guy like a lot. Wonder why he had that closed minded? and very low IQ. oh God, I don't know how to describe him. He is... like... the worst of the worstest guy I ever met in my whole life. I don't know if there got others just like him, cuz I don't care much about this walking dead breed. I don't know lah but sometimes, he scared the hell out of me even though he never mad at me. Sometimes, I just want to scream in front of him, telling him to GET A LIFE. he has no life, maybe he think he has one, but no. He has no life. He's dead. Call me bitch or rude, I don't care. He's not my brother and I don't need to respect him. My brother has loooonnggg gone. My brother is a good person, and that guy is not him. He's just some fucking stranger that happen to be called as brother. but no, I tell you. My brother isn't there anymore, he lose by the fucking stranger. Hmm..... stop cursing, Pgie. Get hold on yourself!
Ngeee :) and P.S I'm much stronger person now. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA *evil laugh*

And today I chat with sis Jaba. YEP :) We're back with our usual routine. Weeee ^___^ Gosh, how I missed to talk to her in virtual world! hahahaha :) Well, yeah.. we do seeing each other every weekend but that's doesn't count lah. this one is different. hahahaha :)) When we chat in MSN, I feel like, you know, we're getting closer with each other ( even though we are closed ) hahaha :) Yeah, I feel like umm... talking face to face with her and yeah, seriously when I read what she type kan, I sometimes can listen to her voice as if she was talking to me and I also know how her tone is. hahahaha :) creepy ehh? I know.. But that's make it a lot realistic. hahaha :)) but maybe it because I got this huge tank of imagination and that's make me can hear her voice. hahaha :) Speaking of imagination, yesterday I watched bridge of Terabithia with my mum and I cried a lot hahahaha :D feel like watching it for the first time :) I think, I've watching the movie like 10 times or more. hahaha :) I just love the movie. and when I watched the movie kan, I learned few things about life and friendships. Leslie and Jess taught me to cherish my friendship and no need to care about what others think about how weird that friendship would look like, as long as we're happy, then just go on with it. And then, they both also taught me that gender doesn't matter in friendships. well, I know this since forever of course, but I just want to make reminder for myself though. hahaha :) And there are few quote from the movie which I really like which is;
Jesse Aaron "That's what Leslie Burke says. She told me to keep my mind wide open"
Ms. Edmond " Leslie Burke is right. Mind like yours wide open, you could create a whole new world."
Leslie Burke "My dad says the TV kills brain cells. " ( I kinda agree with this one )
                   " You are who you are - not your parents"
Jack Aaron "She brought you something special when she came here, didn't she? That's what you hold onto. That's how you keep her alive. "
Mrs. Myers "Be forewarned. If you download any essay off of the internet, you will be downloaded into detention."
and my favorite one is by Leslie Burke  "Just close your eyes, but keep your mind wide open." 
Right now, even just reading the quotations, my eyes is teary. hahahaha :D oh god~why~~~ hahahaha :) Leslie taught not only Jess, but me as well. She told me that when your mind is wide open, you can have anything you wish for, imagine things that seem impossible and brought it to lives. With mind wide open, we also can make our own world and no one else but us can control or destroy it. huh, this movie is the best Disney movie that I ever watch in my entire life. Now, movies all bored, everything about loves, fame and what-so-ever. I kind of missing the part of the movie where it shows how important Art in our life and how arts bring all the cartoon characters to life. hmm.... Tim Burton is my only hope now. Hopefully, he'll continue producing Art's movies :) So do to the director of Pirates of the Caribbean, harry potter too :)

These guys are my favorite since forever. hahahaha :) from chapter prelude, hell they caught my heart. hahahaahahha :) Milo always be my number one in my heart though, but if according to my personal interest, I think I like Quinn better and then Terri, and then Sammy, and last Hendrik and Milo :) hahahahahaha :D yeah, if you could read my Saving Chrystella McLaren, I pick my top 3 Seamus guy to join the Levedad on their adventurous journey :) hehehei :) Well, of course Hendrik and Milo will take part in the story too but not from where the real adventure begins. Hehehei :) And I try real hard to connect the Seamus boys character with their original characteristic in GH, Jaba's story. I just hoping that I won't wrote them until they came out to be different people. hahahaha :) I can't afford that when it happens later. ehehei :D and speaking of story, I post the Levedad's newest story today (haven't publish it yet la ) hahahaha :D And I've told Jaba to read it up but still I don't know what she thinks of it because she said, she's gonna review this saturday, 2 more days yaw! ahahahaha :D Uh, I can't wait! Please time come fast!! XDD And so, the latest story is also about the Levedad, the Seamus Boys and this time they will have adventure around America Country. The levedad, not all of them will taking part though. In this one, I want to focus more only on Jaba and Pgie and for my future story, Moon and Kevin will be the main character :) So, the title for my newest story is 

"LEVEDAD LITTLE ADVENTURE"

which tells about the two girls on a mission taking Moon's back to Laurencia safely before Erik Minions know about her wandering around America, without her guardian Kev. 

So, here is my cast in the story. ehehei :)

Notice Terri? Yeah, I put him again because I often described him as a good friend of Pgie, like in SCM, I make him as Myth Geeks like Pgie and they both pretty much open with each other though. Ekk... I know! I should have ask permission from the character owner first. ( jaba la, who else ) But I think it's too late now. hahaha :D Nah, hopefully she read this post later morning. hahahahaha :D so that, I don't have to ask her, and explained everything then, get killed. huahahaha XDDD

And yeah, Introducing my own character ( support character only la hahaha )

Asa Butterfield as Alias

Demi Lovato as Demetia

and

Kevin Mchale as Neal

Who are they? Well, just wait for the story to finish. hahahahahaahahaha :DDD

PS ; Do read Ghost Hunter Fics to know where I got all this character, alright?

Actually I got Chapter 9 and 10 to catch up with :)I've been working on my ass out on Lev Lil Ad for the whole week and almost dropped dead the SCmclaren. hahahaha :DBut no, I didn't forget about itAT ALLwhenever I open LLA, I'll open SCM as well.Yalah, who knows kanwhen I don't have Ideas on LLA, I can continue on SCMI'm multifunction anyway?hahahahahaha XDjust that I don't functioning very well latelyekekeke :DJust got stuff bothering my head,Nah, this one, I'm not gonna write it up laLike I saidIt's more personal that you thought.hahahahaha :))
So, I'm gonna end this post as usual, with prayers for protection.

Saint Michael the Archangel,
defend us in battle.
Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil.
May God rebuke him, we humbly pray;
and do Thou, O Prince of the Heavenly Host -
by the Divine Power of God -
cast into hell, satan and all the evil spirits,
who roam throughout the world seeking the ruin of souls.

Amen. 
Let Saint Michael guard us where ever we areand deliver us from all evilPray that He will take a good care of us, mind and soulsso that we can keep on sing Praise to our only Father.and keep our faith stronger Amen.
P.S : Let Your Smile Cover Up Your Tears :)

Life without WIFI (T___T)

Ola, Amigos. It's been a while I'm disappeared from here. hehehei :)

Well, yeah I got problems with my Wi Fi 

So, I can't connect to the net

Urgh

7 days feeling like 7 million years to me

fortunately, my good neighbor's Wi Fi is in good condition

until yesterday

So, today

Thank God

Mum let me drove to Phoebe's house to give her doggy eat

and as miss opportunist, 

I use this chance to update my precious blog.

So, greatest thanks and love to Phoebe and mum :)

And yeah,

as you can see,

I'm no longer into Dean Winchester

For I am now more into Castiel

"The Angel of The Lord"

Gosh!

Misha Collins,

I love his eyes and his epic poker face

when he's tilting his head, squinting his pair of aqua

Damn!

ahahahaha :)

that seriously turning me on.

huahahaha XD

But too bad, he already married :)

Never mind. He's too old for me anyway (^___^)

Just that, I can't resist his cuteness. Huahaha

Have a happy marriage, Misha Collins :)

Enough about Misha Collins. hehehei :) Yeah, that's the picture of my two favorite fictional character :) Dean and Castiel :D and in Supernatural, I kind of like their relationship. I mean, their bro-mance things. hahaha :) I like it when Dean teasing Castiel and Castiel just squinting his eyes wondering what's Dean jokes mean. Castiel is too naive to be with Dean. hahaha :) But so far, my likes on Dean Winchester decreasing especially on Season 4,5 and 6 as he doesn't want to accept his destiny to be Michael's vessel and he thinks that he could save the world without faith and believe in God. I was like, "What the Fish?!" hahahaha :D If I'm the vessel, I may say yes at the moment all the angels ask me to. hahaha :) I may be scared but if it for saving the world from evil, I bet I can sacrifice my meat for Heavenly being :)

In other words, I'm not really like how Dean's acted. He said, he doesn't want Adam to take his destiny but in the end, he looks like he was relief that Adam's took his place as Michael Vessel. Hmm... I don't know, that's not my job to judge anyway because Supernatural is definitely a very magnificent work of art! Spectacular~ and the story line, is AWESOME :)

 Last few weeks, if I'm not mistaken, on the day when my relationship with Wi Fi still in a very good shape, hahaha :D I was roleplaying as Aaron Lexon ( One of the character in Ghost Hunter Fics ) and Jaba was roleplaying as his little brother, Adrian Lexon. hahaha :) It kind of fun though. hahaha :) And three people follow my tumblr blog when I'm roleplaying as him last time. ekekeke :) but then, I suddenly felt boring roleplaying. So, then I change back to shiningstar94 but then some anonymous ask me where the hell is Aaron Lexon go. hahahaha :) So, I tell them that he'll be back shortly as he went for hunting things. hahaha :)) He's a slayer I think. I thinkla. huahaha :)) Anyhow, maybe I'll be Aaron again soon enough maybe everyone like it better when I become someone that I'm not :)

Ba dum tss! hahaha :)

 

And speaking of story,I've made it until chapter 9 but still I don't know how to end it up. hahaha :) chapter 9 is almost there but I don't know how to describe it. huahaha :) besides, I'm not always at home for this few days, as I'm more spending time at my good neighbor house and when I do, I will definitely distracted by stuff at home. huahaha :) but yeah, I'm working it out. I know, I'm so full of excuses but not going to deny it for I am miss excuses. hahahaha :)))

And I was making two story at the same time. hahaha :) Yeah and one of it is somewhat a fan-fiction for Supernatural though, hehehei and speaking of fan-fiction, actually I just realize this one fact. uh-huh, a fact that I'm actually a fan-fic writers since forever. hahaha :) Well, accept for my love stories of course. I was convincing myself lately that I'm making movie for GH but for outsiders, I'm actually making fan-fiction for it. hahaha :) You see, different story line, using the same character. huahahahaha :D I realized this when I'm reading supernatural fan-fiction the other day and i was like, "Oho!" hahahahha :) and for the supernatural + Levedad, I'm admiting it was a fan-fiction as well. ekekeke :) Oh well, maybe I am born to be a fan-fic writers. *sighed* hahahaha :) 

I really wish I can make out my own story with my own character one day. But of course, my permanent character; Pgie, Jaba, Moon/Phoebe and Kevin will stayed. hahahaha :))

Urgh! Damn, I really wish I have at least one, my own story. *finger cross* One Day ! XD

And as for this few days, I've been reading Sherlock Holmes story collection and I'm really saluting Sir Arthur Conan Doyle for he has given me lots of new vocabulary and teach me how to write even better :) And yeah, I wanted to read it until the last page of the book and buy another volume of it. Oh my God, who knew, maybe I could be a detective like Sherlock Holmes one day, solving cases and got paid billion dollar. Oh my, that's heaven on earth, baby! hahahaha :) 

Anyhow, sir Arthur is the best writer I ever saw. God! Thank you for giving me chances to know this one talented writer of all :)

SALUTE FOR MR. ARTHUR!

So, here we are.. the end of this post. I don't know when we can meet again here. Just hoping for my mum would let me have broadband in the future for I can't live without internet connection. hahahaha :)

Anyhow, I hate to say good bye but mum already calling us to go home. hahahaha and the weather is not so good right now. It's gonna pour out rain! XD

Another day to drive under the rain. ahahahaha :))) YAY!

Pray for me, everyone :)

So, to end this very post, I shall put pray for protection so that God and His Angels come to protect our souls from evil temptation.

O Lord, support us all the day long of this troublous life until the shadows lengthen and the evening comes, and the busy world is hushed, and the fever of life is over, and our work is done. Then, in Your mercy, grant us a safe lodging and a holy rest, and peace at the last. Amen.

 

"God indeed is my savior;

I am confident and unafraid.
My strength and my courage is the Lord,
and He has been my Savior"
Isaiah 12:2 NASB

P.S Let Your Smile Cover Up Your Tears :)

Not Gonna Say... I Need a Rest.

(How I feel Right Now..Not gonna Say)

Hey, babe. How are ya?

hahahaha :)

I feel hopeless. that's how. hahahahaha :)

Nah

Not gonna tell why.

I'm just feeling down right now

Actually, I don't feel like updating

but umm...

I don't have other place to state my shattering pieces of hearts.

Huahahahaha :)

Not gonna say anything about it

I just feeling restless

I'm spending my whole days

Keeping myself away from everyone

Still...

Not gonna say why

ahahahahahahahaha :)

I feel like writing poems

oh well maybe I am

Crappy poems

Crappy is my middle names
Because everything I do is CRAPPY
like CRABBY.

Not gonna say....why

I think I just gonna stop

maybe for few days

I need to heal this broken heart

my heart needs to be heal

and I'm still

Not gonna say why

ahahahahahahaha :D

So, goodbye.

Leave me here

forget my everything

Let me rest.

Not gonna say why...

P.S : Let Your Smile Cover Every Fucking Tears :)

Oppss... Sorry Niall darling. hahahaha :D

Slipped of the tongue... hahahahahahahahahahahaha XDD

I'm gonna stop using it soon.

Sorry :)

Love You, Niall.

huahahahaha XD

Short Confession I Make :)

hahahaha :)

I mean it...

His cuteness overwhelm me.

His eyes mesmerizing me.

His teeth...OMO~

ahahahaha :)

For SHORT,

He's cute!!! >U<

Niall Horan, Irish

He was born on 13 September 1993 :)

(Older a year than me :)))))

And and and

I wanna thanks his parent to give birth for him

huahahahahaha XD

Good Job, parents.

hahahahahahaha :D

and my most favorite picture of him :)

Los altibajos (=

Ola
I'm here once again :)
Well, today is quiet a very fascinating day for me
Lots of loads happens. Some bad some good...but hey! That's life :)
And this is just a new beginning for me though :)
I know,
there's more waiting for in the future. All I can do is wait for it to happen and faced it with great strength
And I know,
Kevin Mchale and Logan Lerman is somewhere out there, fighting for me
(delusional again) hahahaha :)
Anyhow, I can't tell if this post is long or short.
Depends on how many stuff I can remember lah. hahaha :)
( I think Logan Lerman is cursing me right now, ahahaha )

Anyway, let me start with what happens this morning. hehehe :)
Like this~
Today, I was attending my second driving test as I failed at Bukit part last time.
and yeah, I'm so freaking nervous that time and I feel like my whole body is shaking, my heart pounding so hard like it feel like almost jumped out from my chest. hahahaha :) That's serious, I know.
Anyway, blessing from God, I pass the test with flying colors! Oh my God! I was like, WOW, SERIOUSLY?! I PASS? WOW! hahahahahaha :D
I would thank my mum as well for blessed me with the holy water right before she send me off to the institution. ehehe :) Yeah, I felt so relieve right now
No more wake up early!
I can party all night on 9gag and Tumblring. Ohohoho
Oh wait!
I just remembered!
I'm fasting. hahahahaha :)
I want to try fasting from 9gag, Tumblr, TWITTER and Facebook ( My Biggest Obsession Of All Time )
Today, I failed fasting because I automatically entered 9gag. huahahaha ( intentionally, actually ) I can't help it. ohohohoho
So, I'm going to start tomorrow. I will only be in Blogger and Google :3 ( As I have to post my modified chapters and reading GH, of course. hahaha )

Speaking of modification of stories,
I got this little hurt feeling from my love one. hahahahahaha :) Yeah, it's not until I bleed to death, no. but still it's kinda hurt. ohohohoho
Just now, I was modifying my chapters ( from chapter 1 until 8 *as I haven't done my chap9 yet* )
I'm doing it because I feel something not right about the whole story. hahaha :)
I feel like each chapter that I post, didn't connected to each other.
And yeah, as I was doing the modification with extreme focus ( hahaha XD )
I was as well chatting with her, my lovely sis Jaba :)
So, as I was finished modifying chapter one, I put on the page la and told her to read.
Yes, she read it
and she said, she feel like reading it for the first time and I was like, WOW, SERIOUSLY?!I feel like flying and I deep in my heart tells me that I did a good job.
So, I was trying to troll her la and asked like, "Or maybe because you forgot the story line?"
And she said yes.
The moment she replied yes, I was like  hahaha :D True Story. hahahahahaha :)
But oh well, she said sorry though and I know she went through a lot. So, Yeah :)
Ya know, I feel like crying as well. hahahahahahahahahahaha XD
Nah, not telling her that I was about to, I just said, It's okay. ehehehe :)
Small matter

P.S JABA: Don't worry dear. I forgive you :)

Well, thinking on the bright side, maybe it's my fault for making such boring story like that. Yeah, like seriously, if the story is not boring, surely its would not easy to forget. ahahaha XD Anyhow, I kinda love the story plot anyway. I find it is very nice. ahahaha :D Oh yeah, of course I think that way because I WROTE IT. ahahahaha  So, well I'm getting cured from the hurt feeling right now. (thanks to 9gag.com) So, maybe...MAYBE I'll continued on doing the modification stuff and trying to make it more interesting. Ohohohohohoho :3 now I'm thinking, I should have doing my love story instead. I know from the first time, I don't have talent in this fighting and adventuring kind of stories =.=; oh well, dare to start, dare to finish it lah. hahaha :) Will try harder to finish it because I spend like 20 minutes in shower to think of the story plot and real shower for only less than 10 minutes. hahaha :)

Hmmm....
Wonder why I made such a boring story. hahahaha :3
Never mind, I'll try to make it better :))

And last time, when Shawn is still here, he broke my headphones and seriously, that was my very first time ( maybe few times) I'm so freaking mad at him. I almost yelled but yeah, I have to control myself. hahaha :) He just a child anyway. But still, it's my precious headphones. He can throw my phones, can color my diaries, can smack my lappy, can eat my food but Hell No, NO TOUCHING MY HEADPHONES. but thinking on the bright side, I can get new headphones instead. hehehei :) But still, I love my old headphones, I can hear better, and imagined better with it :) Feel like I'm ONE with it. ahahahaha XD Just kidding, Oh well, as I can't lives without it, I would like to purposed a few bucks from mommy and get myself a brand new headphones :) It's easy ma. hahaha :) No need to make simple things complicated :D So, yeah. I was hoping to get one by this week. I can't live without it. Like seriously. Today, I feel like my day is incomplete and the times goes by so damn slow. Urgh, I'm losing my mind, I need music, yaw!





So, here we are again.The closing, peeps :)I hate to say good bye actuallybut too badI had a boring lifeNothing extra ordinary happenshahahahaha :)Well, maybe somedayWhen I marrying Logan Lermanin the futureOHOHOHOHO
So, Good DayFellas :)

Be with Me Christ

The cross of Christ be with me;

The cross of Christ overcomes all water and every fire;

The cross of Christ overcomes all weapons;

The cross of Christ is a perfect sign and blessing to my soul.

May Christ be with me and my body during all my life

At day and at night. Now I pray, I [name], pray God the Father

For the soul's sake, and I pray God the Son for the Father's sake,

And I pray God the Holy Ghost for the Father's and Son's sake,

And I pray God the Holy Ghost for the for the Father's and the Son's sake,

That the holy corpse of God may bless me against all evil things, words and works.

Prayer for Protection.

P.S Let Your Smile Cover Up Your Tears :)