You Will Never See Me Cry Anymore :D

Annyeong! today i skip school again. well, no reason.. okay, i lie. i do have reason. hahaha :D actually i just don't feel like going to school. why? because there something about school makes me hate to come. i don't know what. i just can't figure it out. but my heart keep telling me that there some people hating me but they pretend that they liking me. heh? lame right. they think i don't know. HELLO? i'm human, i have feeling. but i just can't figure out who and why. For their information, hating me doesn't lead me to change myself. if they hate me for being myself, so, i think they better GET THEIR ASS OFF ME for i'm not going to change and i'm gonna stay like this until i die. well, maybe until i have my own child. hahaha :DD i have the worst day of my life yesterday.

my brother, which i hate soo much make me cry. how? he steal my money! i can't stop my tears and i cry kinda very bad yesterday. i just can't believe that he steal my only money! i do suspect him for he is the last person who enter my room. even i, myself didn't enter my room for a very long time! i know he is dealing with the shitting drug *sorry for my bad word* but he shouldn't steal!! he could just ask! hate him hate him hate him!!!!

   I cry, cry and cry in the car because i was following my sis Ina to Guardian store. on our way, she motivate me and keep telling me that we have just have to focus on our own life before worried about others. she also make me smile and laugh. i'm totally forget about my fucking brother. i really thank to her. she always give me motivation which really help me to improve myself. she tell me what wrong and right. i really do love her. She share her life experience and makes me curious and wanted to know more about life. she just like my second mother. * just that she's my sister* hahaha :DD  Just like sis Jon *juliet* she also always be at my side. even she say nothing but she really does understand and she really good in motivating me whenever i have love problems. ehehe :D i share with her too. they both are sisters. i wish they are my real sister *hahaha, they are, idiot* and sis inut just like sis ina. she's really full of motivation and whenever she have chance, she'll tell what to do and give advice to me. she always tell that study is important and i kinda agree with that. hehehe :D these three person is very important in my life and i would do anything for them and if outside there got someone who wants to hurt them, i swear, i will kill that person with my very hand!

 

And the most important person in my life beside my mum is sis Jaba. the one who care and love me most. the one who understand me more than i understand myself. the one who i share interest and hobby with and the one who always be there whenever i need someone to talk to. and of course she is my personal secret keeper. we are like twins, we have same interest, hobby, dream and even our personality is almost the same. sometimes, our family members can get confuse with our voice. hahaha :D we always make them confuse. hahaha XD. she is the person that i respect most. hehehe :D if i want to talk about her, i think i won't be able to come again to school tomorrow for having fingercramps! LOL XDD.

You will never see me cry anymore because i have these FOUR goddess who always be there when i'm down and happy. these four goddess is the besties goddess that i ever met and i am so grateful to have them. thank you lord for giving me precious sister like them. I won't cry because of my idiot brother and those who hates me. i only will gonna cry when i'm going to lose them. thank you sisters~

The Day You Went Away

The day you went away

i feel so broken

but what else i can do to stop you

because you choose to go

i'm so lost without you

you are part of my life

but you doesn't seem to care

for you choose to be apart

i thought you are my endless friend

the one i share my life with

but then you change your mind

and be apart from me and them

you choose your mother

i don't blame you.

but i know who behind all this

behind all the reason

you apart from us all

even if i demand you to go home

you'll never be home

for you rather be apart

and leave us with memoirs

we have when we are together.

you put my heart into pieces

for i trust you very much

you are the one who always shed my tears

the one who will lend shoulder to me

but in the end

you're the one who brought me to tears

and hurt me badly

i wish i could stop you from leaving

but i know i couldn't do that

for its now just to late

you already leaving us behind.

i want to thank you

for leaving me with the beautiful memories

thanks for listening to all my problems

and thanks for shed my tears and always be on my side

i'm gonna miss all the things we've done together

thank you and goodbye, Phoebe :D

The Story Of My BestFriends.

This is the story of my dearest friends
we know not for long
but i know we meant to be besties
on the first day we met.

prudence the great

i called her dence which suit the way she dance.

she's calm, she wise

she's my besties since we still child.

i adore her for her loyalty to Christ.

She's taken by someone name Christyan

but they arent officially become couple

as she promise to my dearest Val

for she's the one who kept her words

so that our friendship never ends.

This girl known as Valerie the smiling God

she smile, she laugh, she jokes

nobody ever know the pain she ever felt

she thought she can fool me like the others

but she wrong from the start

I know her not for long

but i can tell i know her well

behind those smile there's a secret

unknown secret that no one could tell

a secret which brought her to tears

which i hope i can be the one who shed those tears.

This girls is Fiona Bassy

one of my besties friends

but now it just a history

for she have found new friendship

which i think more suit her personality

just like my dearest dence

i know her since we're young

but when she have someone special

she forgotten that we're always on her side

i thought i know her well

but i don't know anything about her

she's there but i can't see her

now our friendship has become history 

for she have met her new besties.

The name is Cynthina

her smiles can melt a thousand mens

but her heart is belong completely to Him.

for she is one of His loyal followers

I knew her not for long

but i can tell she's the best secret keeper

her face show nothing

but her eyes shows everything

i wish i could know her more

so that i can understand her well.

and can create the bestfriend bond

between me and her.

This is the story of my besties friend

the one i share my laugh, my pain and my jokes

some gone, some stay

but thats life.

i can't blame them for leaving

but i would love if they would stay

i want us to be together

till death come and tear us apart.

Lost In My World Of Imagination

    Annyeong and Happy Halloween everyone! i've been skipping blogging for 2 days and i'm purposely doing that because i'm not in mood. hahahaha :D last 2 days which is 29th October, its was my mum's birthday. yeah, we do celebrate but i haven't wish her happy birthday yet because i was waiting for my report card as a present. hahahahaha :D she thought i forget that day was her birthday. hohohoh :D well, let she thinks that i'm bad. LOL :D actually that noon, we have a little fight ^^. love her very much though~ if i don't fight her, i feel so lonely you know, hahahaha XD okay. enough about that.

As you know, i'm addicted to Hyuk Min. So, i've search a little about him on the internet and what really suprising me is that he is smoking T^T. honestly, i don't really like someone who smoking. i hate smokers. when i found his photo which show that he's smoking, i was like "OMG! he's smoking!!" and my heart break onto pieces! because i'm so terribly addicted to his cute face, i feel like my heart broken like i was in love with real person. i mean, like he was really my boyfriend. hahahaha :D the whole day, i don't feel like online. i'm weird. i know! too much obsession on him! but then, that night, after i told dearest sis Jaba, i feel a little better and starting to accept that he was smoking. he's a model, right? and weather at Korea is still cold even on summer, right? so, he's smoking because he want to get his body fit and to warm his body up ^^. *try to think positive*. so, i guess keep on admiring him ^^. and last night, i upload his photo to my phone and use his photo which is one of my favourite photo of him as my wallpaper. i keep my phone open *i use flip phone* because i want to see his face 24/7 and before i went to bed, i stare at his photo again. LMFAO XD aigoo~~ i really need meet with mental doctor. hahahaha :D sorry HyukMin! I'm really really sorry! hahahaha :DD i don't know what make me becoming really obsess with you. its feel like i was in spell. hahaha. DUH! i'm abnormal. well, actually this is not my first time being to obsess like this. my first obsession is on Jiyong oppa a.k.a Gdragon ^^ i'm addicted to GD for 4 years. amazing eh? hahahaha :D but still can't compete with Benji Madden. okay. back to HyukMin. hahahaha XD. and whenever i think about him, i feel like i was in heaven but when i wasn't in my dreamland anymore, i feel like stupid and saying "like he will ever liking you back, you idiot! babo!" hahahaha :D i kept saying those things but still it didn't stop me from dreaming to be with him. hahahahahahahaha XDD.

Obsession can make me believe in anything eventhough its not really them. hahahaha :D i can't imagine. what if he really do have facebook? what if i met him accidentally? what if he become my friend all the sudden? KYAHHHH!! hahahahahahahahah XDDD i know. i know. thats not gonna happen. please somebody who read this post, help me and tell me the best way how to get rid of this obsession. hahahahaha :D later he'll sing "why are you so obsess with me?" hahahahaha :D i wish i'm an ulzzang to so that i can see him and maybe team up with him. or at least i can team up with Park Tae Jun like Hong Young Gi. hohohohoh :D i'm so envious with those ulzzang. because it seems like their world is just so perfect. Oh ya! i did some theory on how they can be ulzzang. hahaha :D
my first theory is "that someone must be a bad boy/girl" because so far, i found some photo which show that some ulzzang is kissing in public 'WHOA' and they smoking. and some of their photo show that they have been hang out at some night clubs and karaoke centre. hahahaha:D so that is my first theory. it just A THEORY. and my second theory is that "these ulzzang people must come from rich family" because so far, i saw their photo and they was talking photo in their room like YoungGi. and i saw her room is pretty nice ^^. and i think most of the ulzzang have the Canon camera. i mean the advance camera which The photographer use. so, that is my second theory.

And once again i want to said that i really hate my brother. i thought he stop being crazy! Urgh! Don't want to talk about him anymore. BLAH! make me gone mad.

so, that is all for now from me :D i want to eat pizza made by my dearest cousy, Ina..
adieu everyone! XD

Bye :D

My Curiosity Level Is Rising Up! T^T

Annyeong~ i'm just having my tea-time at my aunt house. thanks to my cousin for giving me opportunity to have tea time at their beautiful house. hahaha :D the truth is, i  always come over to eat. well, not always. sometimes. I may come without invitation but i do eat with their pemision. hehehehe :D i still have my pride. i drank milo and eat chocolate cake that my uncle bring from his workplace. i don't have idea where it from but i know it from some of his bestfriend. ehehee :D thanks to that person for giving me to taste the delicious chocolate cake. today, before i check on my facebook i search few i mean dozen of his new photo. I tell you, i;m so addicted to his pretty cute face. i wish he's mine. hahahaha :D but that is not going to happen at all~ because person like him, of course he had a girlfriend already right? hmm..hmm.. well, let's not talk about him first. 

   well, the things that i wanted to say is about this one boy who just enter my class. he's not new in the school but he already being kicked out from school for collecting to much dimerits mark. he's one of the most problematic boy from my school but if you just look at his face, you'll never know that he's the baddest because his look is soo damn innocent. He entered my class today, after recess. our lead discipline teacher call me up and then told me to watched over him and keep my classmates away and never talk to him no matter what. and then i met with my class teacher, mdm.Christina and she warned us not to talk to him and just abandoned him there. i am so curious about, what is their motive to put him in our class if they don't want us to talk and treat him well? i've been thinking about this and i've asked few more discipline teacher like Mdm. Tiong andf Sir Lau. they keep telling me the same thing. they told me, they don't know and they even said that they can't tell. well, if they can't tell me the WHOLE STORY, then at least tell me their motive on doing such things? why must our class? why not others? and why can't we be friends with him? why? why? WHY?! 

   well, i've heard a little about him from some people which kinda know him a little. *yes, i'm investigating* and they said that he's not that bad when we were still in middle school *yes, he's the same age as mine* he's good and even he ever be together with one of my friends. they said that he's changing after we enter highschool. i think he's pick the wrong group of person to be friends with. hmmm.. one of my classmates told me that the reason all the teachers put him in our class is because the teachers want him to be bored with school and drop out. but some of them told me that he want to learn well and change himself to be a better person. ahh~ i don't know! Nan Molla! i've been discuss about this matter with my classmates before sivik class started this evening. some of them said that, they feeling guilty for ignoring him and they think that we all should talk to him once in a while. well, you see. its really hard to be abandoned and ignoring someone that have done nothing wrong with us, right? and i've made few theory about this. one, i agree with what the teachers told us which that is ignored him and second, we could talk and treat him good but not be too close to him. but then when we talk and discuss this matter with our sivik teacher, she said that we just need to ignored him as the head of discipline has told us to do so and she said that like we have no other choice other than to ignore him. this make my curiosity grow bigger. you know i have a very high curiosity. I think i really need to know the real motive and why our class, i mean MY CLASS. my class, my responsibility. i'm the monitor of the class and i do think i have my right to know more about this. I may not a very responsible class monitor but i do care about my dearest classmates safety as the teachers themselves told us that the boy is dangerous. and i did this for my BFSPS's sake! so, i think, i must start to investigate a little by little and i think i can reveal the truth maybe not now but SOON ENOUGH. i just need few helps from few people. that's all.

     Ahh~ enough about that matter, now back to my dearest future boyfriend. ahahaha :D he may not going to be mine but my heart is soo just for him right now *eventhough he didn't know* hahahaha :D we never met anyway. and today, when the last bell rang, the one boy that i've been crushing on *the one only that i never mention here* whether i'm mistaken or not, i think he really does give a glance on me. HUAHAHAHAHAH :D i feel like flying! LMFAO :D ahh, HyukMin honey, just for "eye-wash" no worry, i won't cheat on you. ahahaha :D but about i'm crushing on him is already just a history. i have no feeling on him anymore though. not completely NO, i do have a little but i'm just liking him and adoring his cute face. teehee :DD but his cuteness can never compete with my Hot Korean Boy especially my HyukMinnie~ hmmm... ahh yes! i won a standing medal today for Debate Competition. hahahaha :D unbelievable right? yeah! i hard believe it. we can win third place?! hahahaha XD thats because my teamates, my daddy and mummy who put us in victory. i'm just making the debating worst. hahahaha :D what else to talk about? hmmm.. yeah, yesterday cikgu Annuar give me RM2 for helping him buy two cans of Chrisanthemum Tea for him and CIkgu Pirabu ^^. i did say NO when he gave me but he insist me to take it. so, i just take it. hehehe :D i thank him ^^.. but next time, i hope that he or other teachers who asked help from me, please don't give me anything for a return because i help with all my heart and not just to get any reward though. i'm happy if they could do this next time ^^

so, for end this post, i'll put another photo of me and my dearest HyukMin :D enjoy and don't be jealous for he is mine~ huahahahahaha XDD

Cute combination right? huahahahaha XD i know! ehehe :D so, i off my post today. see you in the next post :D ADIEU!

P/S : Let Your Smile Cover Up Your Tears

having tooth-ache but still going to participating in debate T^T

Annyeong~ long time didn't use kevin's photo to start my blog. ekekeke :D ahh~ really miss his beautiful angelic face ^^. well, today i have a very bad and long day. You see, right now i'm suffering from tooth-ache T^T. my two precious cute front teeth is sick right now. i really love them both as i think they make me look cute. huahahahaha *shameless* oh well, everyone experience tooth-ache right? ehehe :D as long as i'm not losing them, i'll satisfied. teehee XD. i can not even eat a single food today *liar* i only able to eat junk food T^T. hopefully both my tooth will recover soon so that i can ate my favourite chocolates and candy again ^^. School? not so bad just that fiona and i didn't get along well today. she seem to be different lately. since she be friends with caroline and siew mei. not that i blame them. NO, thats not my point. what i want to say here is that fiona seem like don't have the guuts to talk or hanging out with me, prudence and valerie anymore. maybe because the three of us still immature and don't really participating in any school activities. i mean, we're not so called active student and also not a very good grades student like them. we also not famous and not everyone know us. i know where i am and i understand very well if she don't want to cope up with me though ^^. maybe because i talk loud and embarrasing her infront of everyone she knows. not my problem. like it or not, i'm not going to change it. i was born with it so i have to live with it ^^

 And tomorrow i'm going to participating in english debate. I'm going to sit in Opposition side and the topic will be "television does not destroy lives". i'm so freaking nervous right now because i never participating in debate before and i'm scared that, when i got to much nervousness, i will do stupid things in front of everyone T^T. i'm scared. as i always said, my english is not good and even if i use english at home, thats only on weekends as i speak to my son in english T^T and that is the only time i use english at home! at school, i speak malay with my english teacher! aigoo~ i'm so dead tomorrow. but thanks God, the topics isn't bad enough. i can think of the ideas very well. hopefully its not out of topic. hahahaha :D i was team up with my mum and dad (prudence and christyan) hohohoh :D and that what great about the debate~ >_0. prudence said, " we are unseparateable" hahahahah :D i guess she's right! LOL XD then she even invented something like BFF thing and if i'm not mistaken, its was sound like this : "BESTFRIEND SINCE PRIMARY SCHOOL" ahahaha :D BFSPS for short. LOL XD. i can't stop laughing whenever i'm with her. same goes to Valerie. ekeke :D i really wish that the three of us were in the same class but if that happen, our classmate would be very dizzy as we're too loud! hahahaha :D i can imagine because we've experienced that before XD.

 

and so here we are, the main things that i really want to talk about. huahahaha :D i just found out he have a dog. his dog is soo look like my chubby~ only his dog is smaller *but chubby is cuter*  hahahaha :DD we soo meant to be together! LOL XD (hopefully he never read my blog) hahahahaha :D if he does, i don't know how to face the world because of my shameless public admitation. LOL :DD oh well, like he will like me back~ and his dog name is... undefined. LOL XD. i don't know where to look for it. i'm not official nor unofficially related to this Hyuk Min guy. well, maybe after i couple with him later, i'll tell you guys. LOL :D like that will EVER happen. i was made by Him alone though~ hahahahah :D just kidding ^^. So Sorry MY LORD! eynnnn...what else? hmmm.. suffering tooth-ache? check. debating? check. HyukMin's dog? check. Ahh! tomorrow i'm going to sit for 4 paper that is Math I, history I, Biology and EST I. hopefully i can do my best in all 4 exams~ teehee :D and i hope after this i can concentrate and study my biology! uh-oh! i was suppose to study history! oh well, i only bring my biology book to my aunt house just now *my house is just next to her house* hahahaha :D lazy to walk bahh~ like parents always said, girl can't go out at night. hohohohohoh *lame excuses* by the way, i've think of making my own comic after this final exam but i guess its will be a very long time for me to finish it up as this is my first time on making comic. hahaha :D hopefully i don't lost hope in doing one! wish me luck! Hwaiting!~!!

so, i guess this is good bye as i really need to study my biology and remembering my debate script~ wish me luck for tomorrow! 

so here the picture of me and Hyuk Min~ teehee *obviously its photoshop* and also will be one of my favourite photo :DDDD

see you guys soon! bye-bye for now!!

ADIEU! everyone~~

P/S : Let Your Smile Cover Up Your Tears :D

Shopping Or Eating? hahaha :D

Annyeong~ we meet again! today, i woke up at exactly 12 :00 pm. hahaha :D i have more than enough sleep. well, actually i slept at 2.00a.m so no wonder i woke up by noon. well, then i go shopping with my dearest sis jon and my lovely son, Shawny. we went to Merdeka Mall. Its a new mall and there got a lot of cute clothes store. Hwaa~ i was like in heaven! hahaha :D but i didn't buy anything at Merdeka Mall as i'm saving money to buy some Manga. hahahaha :D Manga is the most important! Shawny got his toy truck from department store at merdeka mall but he hasn't got time to play with it as his mum demanding my mum (shawn's grandma) to send Little Shawny home. Aigoo~ i really don't want Shawny to go home but still his mum need him right? what else i can do? hahahaha :D back to the topic. At merdeka mall, Sis Jon buy me Kokoberry. we both order Double Chocolate. ehehe :D thanks to her :D there we start our eating routine. hahaha :D then, the three of us went to Esplanade and again, sis Jon buy us a couple of sausage with fishballs, coconut juice, 'cucur pisang' and 'buntut ayam' hahahahaha :D then after we finish eating, we went to Boulevard Shopping Mall and there i bought 4 Manga books. hohohohohoh :D and before we went back home, sis Jon buy us Mcflurry Oreo and SiewMai and also popcorn and cotton candy for Shawny. In car i asked her " we went shopping or eating? " hahaha :D because we didn't even buy anything except for food, food and food. LOL XD this is my first time seeing her buying only food. hahahahaha :D whenever i recall this memory, i laugh because it just to funny. hehehehei. At home, my aunt and mum asked me to join them for dinner. and of course i said, i'm full. but then after i finish showering, i saw sis Jon eating her dinner, i was like " whoa sis! can i join? " hahahahaha :D i just about to say that actually but she invited me first then, we eat together. today is the day where i ate a lot. hahahahah :D gain weight but fun ^^

The second things i want to talk about is my boyfriend.( dreaming before sleep) His name is HyukMin. Cute ha? sorry, he's mine now! well, i've found him in some website. that time, i was surveying the net with my dearest Jaba while watching some Thai's horror movies. he caught my heart at that very moment. hahahaha :D he's an uljjang too! i found that he have the same interest as i am. we both loves arts, music and even our fashion sense also the same (we both love harajuku's style) hahahaha :D well, this is what people call as Fate. huahahahaha :D he lives in japan since he was young but i think he's back to Korea already as he's currently studying at Seoul National University and took a graphic arts major. I don't know much about him as i just met him. he's father was dead and he's really close to his mother. i think he really loves his mother. teehee! that's make him twice cuter. i wish i see him and know him better. but that is so not going to happen even i cried until blood comes out to replace my tears. hohohohooh :D aish! whenever i think about the things that i will never can get, i felt so dissapointed. yeah, who doesn't if their dreams can't come true. ehehehe :D what ever it take, i will find my way to go to Japan and Korea before i die! if mum allowed me, i want to find part-time job and saves money so that i could travelled with the money and she and dads doesn't need to spend their money for my dream journey. hohohoh :D then, if i can go, i would like to invite dear Jaba to come with me so that we could spent our journey together. huahahahahaha :DD

i guess that is all for now as i need to sleep because tomorrow i have exams.so, i'm off now. as usual, i put HyukMin photo to end my post ^^

ADIEU!

hope to meet him in the future :D so long everyone ^^

P/S : Let your smile cover up your tears :D