Emotional Part of The Year. *the first and the last, i hope*

        Ohayou! hehehe. long time no see~ i miss to write blog. i really want to but i don't know what to write T^T. Actually i want to write last night but my cousin borrowed my laptop as hers is damaged. so, i'm going to write everything that i want to write last night, today ^__^. as you see, i'm having a big problems with my brother. yeah, he did make my parent lost tempered again and i, once again become the victim of the situation. i'm so stressed out last night. i really want to cry but my tears won't come out. maybe because i'm feeling overly stressed. haiya! i wonder what is he thinking? i don't think he using his brain or maybe he don't have brain at all. sometimes, i really wish that he was never born and i rather become the only child of the family. he just acting too much! and now, my mum is sick and i completely blame my brother because he always make my mum lost tempered and mum always cry because of that. i wonder, when will he change? when can i lives my life peacefully? i just don't know what to do anymore. i really wish i can speak  up and give him a piece of my mind but im just to scared to do so. coward me! 


       But then, i'm so thankful to my cousins for making me feeling more better. Especially cousin Ina, phoebe and Juleetz. they really make me forget about those bad things and make me laugh really hard. hehehe. and to my maknae farah, buwbuw and malen, thanks for being there for me and make me happy ^__^ sarange <3 haiz! i'm feeling lucky to have them besides me. 

       

   - THEY LIGHT UP MY DAY AND MAKE ME HAPPY-

          Wah! i surely can't forget jiyong oppa! he's cuteness really make me going crazy. i thought, xander can replace his place but i was wrong. nobody can replace my jiyong~ T^T. oh well, he just like lee hyori right. just like xander. Xander also like lee hyori. who doesn't anyway? hahaha. seeing them both liking lee hyori, i'm now on my way to liking lee hyori too~ i'm in love with her song. Ahh~ well, now i'm feeling better as i can have my jiyong again ^_^.  from now on, i won't let him go no matter what. unless he get married. ehehe. ahh~ actually its all my fault because accusing him for something that he didn't do. hehehe *sound like real girlfriend to him* LMFAO! keyh keyh. enough about jiyong baby. eehehe

           tonight, i'm going to celebrates Gawai dayak with my family. proud to be Ibanese. hehehe. ah~ can't wait. really-really can't wait for tonight. Hopefully, tonight is the BEST GAWAI CELEBRATIONS ever! wohooo~ AMEN. ekeke. to all, ibanese around the world, SELAMAT NGINTU ARI GAWAI DAYAK, GAYU GURU GERAI NYAMAI! 

so, here's the picture of gawai dayak celebration for villagers and of course, its end my blog for now. Adios!'

GoodBye My Love - 8eight

this song is really touching deeply into my heart. i don't know why but its really-really makes me wanna cry. maybe because my namja's is being taken by others.

click here to see the vids, ne? : goodbye my love MV

Translation Goodbye My Love

Hello, have you been okay? Is your face cute like before? A bit of my late regards and our late parting,  I put into writing.  Won't you ask me why i send you a letter? A message from someone's homepage is more common Holding my pen, maybe i won't be able to express my feelings right I feel like i can't do this in another way It was very hard when i loved you Nothing could ever be like i wished I promised myself that I wouldn't bother you again Even if I wait until I die, you won't come Goodbye my love, I'll send you off now The memories and remembrances, i'll forget them all I'll erase and erase and remove any mark of love From my heart They say if bodies separate, hearts separate too That's pointless to me, it's all lies As time goes by, everyday I get more tired Everyday I asked myself if we can't go back I could squeeze out my longing heart and scream out but you won't listen At the end of our memories, after I got conscious of our break up I send you off of my heart, goodbye Goodbye my love, I'll send you off now The memories and remembrances, i'll forget them all I'll erase and erase and remove any mark of love From my heart If time kept passing I thought I would forget you Again and again You keep getting into my heart No, my love, I can't send you off You, you, I should forget you Even if I erase and erase, I think you're the only one for me I'm sorry

LIVING THE FUN LIFE FOR BEING A TEENAGERS

Aloha~ I'm back! wahh~ after a very long time I didn't update blog, I feel like I have abandoned it. Sorie, bloggy! Well, not much I want to talk about this time as I have not much extraordinary things happen. hahaha =D. well, maybe when I meet with Jiyong oppa next time, then i'll use the whole page to talk about it. LOL =D.

Well, as usual. My brother making mums angry again. And making me losing my mood to study. He never stop giving mum trouble. I thought he's already mature but dissapointedly I said, he'll never change. I hope he could be more mature and stop acting like kids. People who was the same age as him, had already plan their future and even they already start to look for

their own life. My brother are so different from everyone that I ever met and know. I wish my brother could do something good at least look for a job. whenever he hurt mum feeling, i really wish that i could stand up for mum and scold him. but i just couldn't do it because i have no courages to do so and sometimes, i even wish that i never have brother before. Well, i know I should do that but he give me to much pressure even that he didn't mean to give it to me. But as long as i see my mum hurt, i feel the pressure. I don't know what to do anymore. i just hope that i could talk to someone who could help me to cope with this problems. 

hahh! enough about the sad things. Well, today i have a very good laugh with my besties. they are so funny and for me, they are the funniest person in the world. i mean the second most. hahaha. ( because my first are my family ) They really got the guts. we talk about nonsense but still we have a lot of fun together. that is why i love them <3. my besties always manage to make me smile and forget about the bad things which happen in my life. sometimes, i wish i could spent more time with them. well, I am as 4 of us join the same clubs and activities at school. hahaha <3 sarange chinguya! 

This one is the most things that i hate today is that girl who was given a name as MIMI. she really piss me off. and of course val too. haiz! that girl never learnt a lesson. dasar perampas. I really hate her. not because she takes my besties' dreamboy but she always annoyed me. she annoyed everyone i think. even some of her friends doesn't like her. Ahhhh~ hate her. 4 of us hate her. hahaha =D picture of siwon and heechul. phiakk! so cutee.

So, the picture end this blog today ^^ see you people next time ^^

Fan- Epik High-

hehehei. on my first time of listening to this song, i'm kinda falling in love with it and i immediately online and search for the lyrics (in english) and then when i read the lyrics, i found that this song is very connected to me as you all know that i'm in love with celebrities which never know me. hahaha, so, just the lyrics then, you'll see what i mean =D enjoy ~ <3


fan - epik high




Oh! (Even if I can't have you)

Even if it’s only in my mind

(Even if I can't touch you)

Even if it’s only a meaningless dream

(Even if I can't talk to you)

Even if I hide and watch from far away

(You know I do)

I love you

(Even if you don't know who I am)



Oh baby don't you know, you don't even know my name

I spend my sleepless nights gazing at you

Oh so beautiful, your solo picture clutched in my hand

The heartbreak of my crazy love buried in the cheers of the world

You’re not even listening, you wouldn’t even know if I died

Even in your next life you will live without knowing who I am

I want you so bad and it’s too late to turn back

Even tonight I want to kiss you so I clutch my pillow tight



Today is our first meeting right?

Only you have this sort of dialogue

Again today I talk to your retreating figure

It’s always the same thing but still I give a nervous hello

Even though the whole world’s stops listening, I only need you to hear me

The further you are the hardened my heart becomes, please listen to me

Farther, and farther, fortune works wherever

Will I be able to see you? (Tell me)



Oh! (Even if I can't have you)

Even if it’s only in my mind

(Even if I can't touch you)

Even if it’s only a meaningless dream

(Even if I can't talk to you)

Even if I hide and watch from far away

(You know I do)

I love you

(Even if you don't know who I am)



Darling, why are you not smiling today?

It would be nice if it was not a big problem

I couldn’t look at your face filled with anxiety

It would be better if I was in pain but the impossibility of that brings regret

Hold me, the one who could respond to your question of “how are you?”

Can’t come close, can’t touch, you’re the one I can’t hold

I’m going to go meet you tonight in my dreams



Even if in my dreams everyone ridicules my love

Even though everyone says I am crazy and the entire world disappears

Babe you belong to me, but why are the worthless multitudes talking you away?

No, there is no way. I’ll make you see only me

I’ll give you everything, I’ll make your lips meet mine, I’ll go get the world and give it to you

I’ll make it so you can never leave me, I’ll keep you in my sunken heart

You are My star, I’m your no.1 fan

Baby please, take my hand



Oh! (Even if I can't have you)

Even if it’s only in my mind

(Even if I can't touch you)

Even if it’s only a meaningless dream

(Even if I can't talk to you)

Even if I hide and watch from far away

(You know I do)

I love you

(Even if you don't know who I am)



Boys and Girls in a crazy love say oh! oh! oh!

Boys and Girls in a stupid love say oh! oh! oh!

Boys and Girls in a meaningless love say oh! oh! oh!

Boys and Girls in a love like mine say oh! oh! oh! 

~ Saranghamnida ~

-i kinda like this song for the meaning. hehehehe. well, i knew this song from one of my Facebook friends and thanks to him, 규현-아들, 정말 감사합니다 !! hahaha =D


Saranghamnida- TIM


-Romanization-


Nappayo Cham Keu Dae Ran Saram..
Heo Rak Do Opshi Wae Nae Mam Ga Jyeo Yo
Keu Dae Ttaemune Nan Him Gyeob Gye Sal Go Man Inneun De
Keu Daen Mo Reu Chanayo

Arayo Na Neun Ani Ran Gol
Nun Kil Jul Man Keum Po Jal Got Op Tan Gol..
Ta Man Ka Keum Shik Keu Jo Keu Miso Yogi Nae Gae Do
Na Nwo Jul Sun Om Nayo
Pi Rok Sarang Eun Ani Ra Do..

On Jen Gan Han Bon Jeum Eun To Ra Pwa Ju Gyet Jyo
Han Op Shi Twi-e Seo Ki Da Ri Myon..
Oneul Do Cha Ma Mo Tan Ka Seum Sok Han Ma Di..
Keu Dael Sarang Hamnida

Oje Do Chaek Sang-e Yop Deu Ryo
Keu Dael Keu Ri Da Cham Deu Ryot Na Pwa Yo
Nun Neul Ddo Bo Ni Nun Mul-e No Ka Heu To Jyo Itton
Shi Rin Keu Dae Irum Gwa
Hot Win Param Pun In Nak So Man..

On Jen Gan Han Bon Jeum Eun To Ra Pwa Ju Gyet Jyo
Han Op Shi Twi-e Seo Ki Da Ri Myon..
Oneul Do Cha Ma Mo Tan Ka Seum Sok Han Ma Di..
Keu Dael Sarang Hamnida

Ije Nomu Na Do Nae Gyen Ik Sok Han
Keu Dae Twi Mo Suem Eul Pa Ra Po Myeo
Heu Reu Neun Nun Mul Chorom So Ri Om Neun Keu Mal

Keu Dael Sarang Hamnida




-ENGLISH-

So bad..a person like you..
Why did you take my heart away without my permission?
Im living with so much difficulties
But you dont even know.

I know.. that its not me
That im not worthy enough for even a blink of your eye
But sometimes cant you share your smile with me too?
Even if its not love

Please turn back just once sometime
If I wait endlessly like this today
Again its the one word in my heart that I cant keep inside
I love you.

Yesterday, I layed my head on my desk
And I think I fell asleep grieving for you
When I opened my eyes, the tears had smudged
Your name and hopeless doodles

Please turn back just once sometime
If I wait endlessly like this today
Again its the one word in my heart that I cant keep inside
I love you.

As I look back at your image
which I got so used to it
I say those silent tear-like words,
I love you.

 

-HeartBeat-

- SUDDENLY THIS SONG HAUNT ME -

 -DEDICATED TO SOMEONE-

[romanji version]

Can you feel my heartbeat?

Heartbeat... Heartbeat...
Niga jitbalbgo ddeonan simjangi ajikdo ddwigo Isseo geugeotdo neoreul hyanghae

Ijeuryeogo amuri noryeokhaebwado
Saengro-un saramdeuleul amuri man-nabwado 
Gyesok dasi, ddo dasi 
Dolaseomyeon wae ni saenggagman naneunji
An hallae geumanhallae 
Amuri nae jasineul dallaego ddo dallae
Bwado amu soyongi eobseo nae
Simjangi gojangna beoryeosseo wae

Wae ajikdo naneun ireon babo gateun jiseul haneunji
Meorirok algetneunde gaseumeul wae ji mamdaerokji
Neoreul jabdo nohjireul mothae jigeumdo niga naui gyeote 
Itneun geot gatae ibyeoleul midji mothae

Nogool mannado maeum sok hangoseun yulji Mothago gaesok ni jaril biwonwa

Ol liga eomneundae oljido moreundago wae Minneunji gaseumi wae mareul an deunni

Listen to my Heartbeat...
It’s beating for you 
Listen to my Heartbeat... 
It’s waiting for you
Ggeunnatdaneun geol ajikdo molla 
Wae ireoneunji ihaeha anga
Listen to my Heartbeat...
It’s beating for you 
Listen to my Heartbeat... 
It’s waiting for you
Neoui saenggake ajikdo apa 
Gaseumi ddwil ddae mada saenggagna

Ijeoya hae ijeoya salssu isseo 
Jiweo beoryeoyaman hae an geureomyeon naega jugeo
Stop trying to get her back, she ain’t coming
She’s gone, gotta be moving on 
Gasseo oji ana geunyeon ni saenggag haji ana

Geunyeoneun naega gidarineungeol 
Jeonhyeo moreun chae jal salgo isseo
Geunyeoneun imi nal ijeosseo wanjeonhi jiweosseo
Wae naneun geureokhe mothani

Listen to my Heartbeat...
It’s beating for you 
Listen to my Heartbeat... 
It’s waiting for you
Ggeunnatdaneun geol ajikdo molla 
Wae ireoneunji ihaeha anga
Listen to my Heartbeat...
It’s beating for you 
Listen to my Heartbeat... 
It’s waiting for you
Neoui saenggake ajikdo apa 
Gaseumi ddwil ddae mada saenggagna

My heart is beating...
Faster and faster
My heart is beating...
Faster and faster
My heart is beating... 
Faster and faster
My heart is beating... 
Faster and faster

[english version]

Can you feel my heartbeat
the heart that you stepped all over and left
is still beating. and it’s beating for you

no matter how hard i try to forget
no matter how many new people i meet
why do i keep thinking of only you when i turn around
i don’t want to do this anymore. i want to stop.
no matter how many times i try and try to stop myself
it’s no use. my heart is broken. why

why do i keep doing such foolish things
i know in my head, but why is my heart rebelling
i’m holding on to you and can’t let go.
it still feels like you’re next to me.
i can’t believe in farewell

no matter who i meet, i can’t open up one part of my heart and i keep your place empty
there’s no reason for you come back, but why do i keep thinking that you might come back
why isn’t my heart listening

listen to my heartbeat. it’s beating for you
listen to my heartbeat. it’s waiting for you
don’t i know that it’s over. i don’t understand why i’m like this
listen to my heartbeat. it’s beating for you
listen to my heartbeat. it’s waiting for you
it still hurts thinking of you. i think of you every time my heart beats

i have to forget. i have to forget in order to live
i have to erase it. if i don’t, i’ll die
stop trying to get her back. she ain’t coming
she’s gone, gotta be moving on
she left. she won’t come back. she doesn’t think of you.

she doesn’t know that i’m waiting for her, she’s doing well
she already forgot about me, totally erased me.
why can’t i do that

listen to my heartbeat. it’s beating for you
listen to my heartbeat. it’s waiting for you

my heart is beating faster and faster
my heart is beating faster and faster 
my heart is beating faster and faster 
my heart is beating faster and faster 

I Surendder In A Game Of Love But I Find Real Friendship

   Good Evening everyone! Long time i didn't write here, heh? hahaha XD. I miss my blog too. I want to write but i feel soo lazy to do so. Well, yeah. I have new boy now. hahaha. meet GiKwang. LOL. <3.He's kinda cute right? hehehe. I KNOW! thats make me feel in love~ 
   That is just for my introduction. hahaha =D. hmmm, yhea. As you know, I like Changhyun right? ahahaha. thats what i want to talk about today. Changhyun.. Changhyun..Changhyun. hahahaha... i should write this last week as i know this matter last week. hahaha :D. Its all about Changhyun is in love with someone else LOL! Thanks God I already forget about him and stop hoping that he is mine. LMAO! i laugh at it. really-really hard as i know that someone very very well. hahahahahaha ^___^. I knew about this from my besties. Oh well, im happy to know this. hahaha so that i can completely let go of him. YAYY!! I have my Kwang now. LOL. what? you said, what about Jiyong and the others? They still mine. nothing to worry about. hahaha. but for now, im more to Kwang. hahahhahaha >___0.

    What else ha? hmm. oh ya! Fiona wanted to tell me something that can make me faint. but till now, she haven't told me anything. I'm waiting for the books as she said that she would write about it in that book. can't wait to know. hahahaha =D. thats the other things. hahaha. arrr.. homework? as usual. i had them all. and they are getting more and more. the teachers never stop giving me homework. yhea. my own fault. ahahah. laziness is conquering me. i really really want to change my habits you know. avoiding online for the whole days. and maybe for a month. but i just can't i don't know why. well, for sure, i blame Facebook for that. hahahahaha =D i hate it but still i can't avoid it. 


  Oh! happy part. and of course totally my favourite parts. hahaha ^^. I have all my besties back and that is the happiest things that ever happen in my life. well, for my friendship. 4 of us is getting along very well and i hope this will be last forever. hahahaha =D as you can see in the images below, Dence is park Bom, Valyie is Sandara Park, Fion is Chaerin and Me is Minzy!! i hope that our friendship will be as fun as 2nE1's.

I think thats all for now. i will write again soon.  ^^ Adios~