Not Gonna Tell Because I Want To Keep Smiling :)

Hehehei, what's up? Annyeong and Greetings :) Today I'm gonna tell a fairy tale. hahaha :) Just Kidding. I'm not really good in telling story XD  Anyway today is another falling day for me which make me feel like want to ripped off my heart from my body so that I would stop feeling hurt. ehehehe :) Emo-ish... Well, that's new me :) So, my day wasn't have a good start today. first, I don't get enough sleep because I'm watching special KingDom Hearts MV on Youtube last night. then, I found out that flu got me. Oh yea, I miss having flu.. it's been a while though. hahaha :D third, I have three story to deal with which is my CuCO, and the two, I just got it since yesterday. Gosh =.=; and fourth, as I drew just now, suddenly I feel like crying as you know, my parent disapproval for my ambition. (( suddenly conquering my mind bah )) and then, my parent fought for something ridiculous. Ahh, what a lovely bad day, eh? I know, some of you might envy with my life, right now. ekekeke :DD I'm in the middle of world war III and Oh YEAH! I had fun with it until my tears of joys won't came out anymore. hehehehei :) I have such a beautiful day :) Don't you agree? T^T. and right now, my heart is sinking like titanic. ahaha :) I wanted to cry but I try not to, because.... my room isn't private enough for me to cry. ahahha XD as my parents got my room key. they can burst in at any second :D

So, yesterday I was playing kingdom hearts II and I'm now successfully level 20+ I don't exactly remember the exact level. hahaha :) and suddenly I felt my heart is so heavy when I watch Sora fighting the nobodies. Then, I realize that I want to play as Roxas not Sora. I know that Sora is the main character but he have a very good life; he have friends, he's very joyful, he have family and he have lots of love from people around him. Unlike Roxas, once he had everything but then he lost everything that he once had as he sacrificed himself for Sora. He was one of the nobodies as well.. he is part of Sora and he was never exist. He just, Umm.. How to say this, um... A heartless soul of Sora, the bad version of Sora. Well, I knew that he's a protagonist in the game but I'm kinda pity of him as he never knew who he really are as he wasn't even real. he's kinda zombie; he's moving but don't have memories. I don't know how to explained (( I've told you, I'm not good telling story )) hahaha :) so, I recommending you guys to play Kingdom hearts yourself, then you'll know what I meant or too make it easier, just search for Kingdom Hearts videos on Youtube. ekekeke :)

And today, I got driving class and my instructor complimented me. hehehe :) he said that I can take my driving test soon, maybe around Mid of February. Hopefully I can mastered all the driving skills soon so that I can pass my driving test easily. wohoo :) then, as I arrived home, I felt like writing my newest story line which I would love to entitle as "The Secret 7: Sacred Hearts. The character will of course consist of me and my lads (( my loveliest brothers and sisters )) and also some of it would come from Kingdom Hearts and my imaginations. ehehehe :) I can't wait to write lah as It's been a decade, I didn't do handwriting's story :) I think, I'm gonna leave CuCO for a moment though as right now, I'm not really feel like Kpop freak. hahahaha :) Now I'm hardcore otaku and a gamer too :) Umm... What else? oh yeah, the other story I made is about an ordinary girl who have family crisis and met with a boy who is very mysterious but very friendly to her. he was pale, have blue eyes, and a golden blonde hair. So, what I was trying to tell here is, I'm thinking of doing some vampire story.. but I don't know about it yet or maybe instead of a vampire story, I would make ummm.... Oh well, I can't think of anything right now. hahahaha :)) a prince charming maybe. huahahaha :DDD Just Kidding :)

<----- if you notice, I kinda love to take my pictures from the side nowadays. LOL :D I don't know why... maybe it making me look even cuter than usual. ekekekekeke :) and yeah, I haven't took any pictures since forever. LOL XD I don't have feeling to take picture and not just taking pictures, I don't have feeling to eat as well. I felt fat and especially when someone mention about weight or fat or anything related, I lost my self-confident. Well, I am fat.. hahahahaha :) if I'm not born tall, I'm totally an overweight girl. Seriously, I am.. hehehe :) I try my best to control myself from eating but I just can't especially when I'm feeling down about something and eating is my only solution and the only thing I can do to make me forget about that kind of feeling is food. =.=; Still, I have tons of food in my room. hahahahaha :D and today, I bought some and kept it to myself again. well, just in case I'm feeling down in the middle of the night and felt lazy to walk to the kitchen. hahaahaha :)) Oh well, maybe I am destined to be fat. LOL :D but I wish i'm not... T^T

Today, I asked my parent to send me to Boulevard as I wanted to buy Anime CD's and that's was their punishment for making my day worst today. ahahaha :)) And I bought this three anime CD's. I'm thinking of watching it starting today. and seriously, I actually wanted to buy Blue Exorcist and Starry Sky anime.. but Boulevard Speedy doesn't seem to have it. Kinda disappointing actually. Oh well, maybe it's not really my day.. I can buy it next time though :) Just wait! Urgh, hopefully nobody will bought it before me! >.< hahahaha :)) and today as well, I was thinking to buy Bleach CDs but as I saw it has too many episode, so I change my mind. huahahahaha :D not enough money to buy all de... I only can afford the three CDs. Oh well, maybe next time. I will buy it "ansur-ansur' ehehehehe :)) and maybe I would buy One Piece as well lah. hahahaha :D Wish me luck for that :)

Today is really not my best day but I'm not going to tell about it as it just going to make me feeling more bad later on. hahahaha :) So, I'm just telling the best part then. hehehehehe :) I just wanted to be happy, and contented with life... I do have beautiful life. Just that, bad day ruining part of it. And I'm really are looking forward for something better to happen tomorrow as I'm just feeling restless today. And besides, this isn't the first time I felt this kind of feeling and yeah, i'm sick and tired of crying over it. Now, I hope that I could keep on writing something good and valuable starting today in my blog even though how sad I am by that moment. *sighed* hehehehehehe :) I just want to keep it for myself from now on though... and even if I wrote it here, when I feel like reading my post all over again, I will feel down again and I don't want that. I want to be happy and I want to keep the smile on my face.  I don't want to tell people how hurt I am. I don't want to be pity, I don't want to be love by pity. I just want to be Happy. Yep, that is all I want for... Happy :) So, that's all then. needing bath. hahahaha :D Adieu XD

Last but not least, I distributed this picture to my loveliest sis Jaba. hahahaha :D 

* You must be New~* ahahahahahahahaha XD 

(( just the two of us knew the history behind this.LOL XDDD))

P.S: Let Your Smile Cover Up Your Tears :)

updating thru phone :)

annyeong and greetings, readers! today is my first day and first time i.update my bloggy through phone :) actually i'm just testing it lah and accidentally i saw that i can update mr.bloggy through phone. ehehe XD just that i'm not reqlly use to the.keypad lah. ahaha :D umm.. actually, i've got nothing.else to say here.as i was.just going.to.test how does.it.feel.to.update blog by phone... ehehehe :) so, that's all. i'm sorry if there got.so.many typos.yah?! adieu XDD

p.s : let your smile.cover up your.tears :)

I'm 18 and I Know it

Annyeong and greetings, readers! Yep, I'm officially 18 years and 3 days old today. ahahaha :) I got lots of presents from my family members :) and <------- that Domo-kun bags is my favourite one. it's from my sis Jaba ahahaha :) Yes! I brought it shopping today :) It matched my watch though =) mum even said that sis Jaba really know how to choose present for me (( does she meant that I look cute with the bag? ahahahahaha XD )) And, about my blog songs, I kinda like it though eventhough, some of the singers, I don't really know much about them. ahahah :) seriously, the songs resembling my mood this few days :) Especially Lonely Days by S.O.A.D. I don't know why but yeah, I'm so lonely, lonely lonely, lonely, lonely ~ ahahaha :DD 2NE1. but I'm okay with it though, like I'm used to it though :) I'm strong enough to keep surviving my lonely days :D Anyways, lets stop talking about lonely days as I have lots to tell about today though :D I have lots and lots of interesting and very new that happens in my life :) Well, maybe that's what we get when we are 18 years old. ekeke :D

This morning, I go to driving institution to start my very first lesson. At first, I was so nervous, even my hands shaking but after a moment of driving, I get use to it and my driving tutor starts to ask me drove to Lutong. I was like, "Whoa!" ahahaha :D so fast! I had great laugh with him though even though I sometimes don't really get his jokes, I just laugh. ahahaahahaha :D Bad ehh? But honestly, he's very nice :) I did few mistake but he just laughing at me instead of mad at me. ehehei :) I'm just learnt bah. so , tomorrow, I'm gonna go again for my second lesson. I can't wait! I wonder if he'll ask me to drive to Lutong again tomorrow, Oh how I wish! XD Um... then, right after I finish my driving lesson, my parent said something about buying me phones. At first, I go blurred as before, when i asked them to buy me one, they was like "Why do you want phone anyway? you already have one?" I just shrugged and grinned that time. ahahaha :) yeah, I have no reason to buy new one though. ehehei :) Well, they did bring me to Boulevard and ask me to find my desired phone O.o and Taa-daa~ I got my dream touch screen phones and it was jeng3 N8 plus 1. ahahahaha :D N9 to be exacts. Yeah, i've been telling that I want an N8 before but when I saw N9, I quickly falling in love, ekekeke :)) so, now I officially have my N9 :) but I haven't use it yet because my sim card didn't fit in. and even if my sim card fit in, maybe I won't use it for some times, because I still love my LG 580 :) that is the longest phones that could stand me. ahahaha :) I'm so deeply in love with my LG GD580 :)

And at around 2p.m I went to Phoebe's house to tutor her as she is SPM candidates for 2012. Yes, I don't want her to repeat the same mistake that I've did last year. ekekeke :) she must be prepared starting from the early month. I want her to pass this time :) ehehehe :) Well, I'm not saying that I'm very good in subjects, (( In fact, i failed it all, before )) hahaha :)) but I'm seriously trying my best to tutor her :) she's clever enough and I know I can make her understand more about her school works. Umm.. I'm focusing on her form 4 syllabus... because last year, when she was form 4, she was always ringo-ringo and failed most of her subjects except for English. seriously, her english is dang good! ahahaha :)) she's an English people. ekeke :) Even her BM is very not in good state. ehehehe :) not saying that mine is very good but when she making sentences in BM, it always sounds like sentences that primary schools always make. =.=; I don't she's a malaysian. ahahaha :D just kidding. Anyway, I'm going to try my best to her tutor. and P.S I'm doing it for free. ahahaha :D seriously, I've think about this last few days ago as I'm thinking that I've been so bored at home and I have nothing else to do.. and of course I'm sick of playing facebook games, online-ing, lacking of ideas to continue my story line, and playing my PS2 (( actually, I'm just don't like playing PS2 alone though )). So, why not I'm making something beneficial by tutoring, right? Besides, I can moved my brain cells by doing the thinking and solving those twisting code of chemistry, biology, mathematics and add math ;)



So, that's all I want to say though :) be seeing you peeps in my next post :D Adieu 
*ME GUSTA*

Currently addicted to this game :)~ Kingdom Hearts ~
I prefer Roxas (the blondie ) than Sora.. but to bad, the main character is Sora T^T. ahahaha :)
P.S : Let Your Smile Cover Up Your Tears :)

My Real Wish on 2012 :)

Annyeonghaseyo and greetings  It's my first post of 2012. wee♥ I'm still alive! hahaha :)))Anyway,  its seriously just the number of the year that changing, my life? non changing ehehe :D well, of course I'm looking forward for something good to happen this year :) If I could just wish. And yep, it's gonna be my third year together with my Mr. Bloggy. ahahahaSo, Umm... what else?  Oh ya, actually I'm just about to continue on my story but I was suddenly have the mood to write my blog first as I haven't yet wrote anything since the 2012 is here, so... here I am... hehehe :) And seriously, I want to apologized first to those who read lah... because what I'm going to write is going to be a little sad though. Yeah, I shouldn't start with sad stuff. But it's what i felt though. Don't blame me... Blame my feelings. ehehehe :) And Oh, <--- that's my old picture. I found it inside my hard disk ngehehehe :) cool eh? I know right? Always be photogenic one :) Anyhow, let me start with it... I just need all my tears to flow like a waterfall tonight or i'm going to stay with this fake smile until I can't hold it any longer. ahahaha 

Okay, seriously my 2012 start real great because I have surrounded by my loveliest family :) No kidding, I have blast. I woke up on 1 Jan 2012 at 1 p.m. hahaha :) I was drunk by drinking to much of juice. ehehehe :D Nah, I'm not an alcoholic person, I hate them. ehehehe :) But none knows that even though I look like I'm enjoying myself, I still  have that little funny feeling inside. The sad feeling. Well, I don't know.  I just automatically thinking of my big brother. As this year, he didn't celebrating New Year with us all and it was the very first year he didn't join us. He was here, in this very house. But I can't feel his existence. It seems like his body is here but his soul isn't here. I don't know how to explain, but it something like it lah. heehee :) Anyway, he seems to keep on avoiding us and he didn't even take a peek on what were we doing. I did wish that he could just walk over or stood there for a moment, it's already matter for me. But I didn't even see him go out from his room. Haish, (( Right now, I'm wondering... why my tears won't fell off? As long as it stay there, I'll be forever sad :( Uh )) ahaha :D just kidding though :D like seriously, I felt that my new year celebration is nothing special... I felt empty. My mum especially... She does look happy but I know she's hurting inside. She have the toughest stuff to deal with in her life but I salute her for her big patience in life and she never show any sign of giving up :) That what I love the most about her. And on that very new year night, my brother ask another hundreds ringgit and his usual friends came over and they keep themselves locked inside the room doing what ever things they do lah... 

And just now, I reminisce back how happy my life back then. When I was still just a little girl. My brother treat me so well and he even shared everything with me. I remember once he bought me stuff like food, toys... he was the best brother that i ever had. Well, literally he is my only brother though. hahaha :) I still remember the day he picks me up from school. He's car was becoming the talks of my schoolmates and I was like "Oho, that's my brother," ahahaha :D yeah, I'm proud :) and no one dares to put their hands on me because of him, he just protective you know... And one time, I remember the day I help him tackle this one girl. ehehehe :) I help him with my cuteness. that was the best memory I ever had with me. and we both often celebrates our birthday together as we both born on 9th ( but he's on December and i'm on January ) I still keep the picture you know.. and I think, that's the last picture we took together though and it was almost 10 years ago, we all still young that time. still budak hingusan and sis Jaba still telling me her Ghost Hunter story. ehehehe :)) I wish he never choose this wrong path. it may not hurt him, but its hurt me a lot as he is my brother and yeah, I did tell that I hate him but I found that I can't hate him no matter how much he hurts my parents. He may be stupid, and I may say out loud to other out there that I hate him so damn much but it just an empty word. I could never ever ever hate him. even if he was caught murdering someone, I will still always forgive him and will never hates him. I know, he may done wrong. He just some rebellious adult. and people out there may think or say that he's useless but no matter how useless or how stupid he behave, he always be my only brother, the one that I love, the one that I respect, the one that I hope that he'll turn back to live the right path. I never lost hope on him because I believe, everyone deserve a second chance and I do believe that he'll change one day.

My real wish on New Year 2012 is that I wish that my brother would change and be the son that my parent always dream to have. I wish that he could turn back to the right path and behave like others normal brother.  I hope that God would open his heart so that he would believe in Him and always pray for goods and healthy. and I wish that he could be someone better and stay out of trouble. I wish this 2012 would happen something that can reset his mind and make him change into someone better. I wish that he would grow up and be matured. I wish that he never breaks mum hearts and never ever make my dad lose hope on him. I as well wish that all his negativity would be replace with positivity so that he could differentiate the good and the bad things to do. I wish I wish that he would never getting involve with drugs or anything related to it anymore. I wish he'll stop doing all the wrong things and start to do the good things. 
                 

So, that's all I need to say about my brother. Yes, I realize that was my real wish on New Year :) I really hope for the best for him. I want my brother back, this person who live in my house isn't my brother.. I don't know who he is.  My brother never done anything bad like for years. My brother was someone who believe in himself, a gamer, protective, creative, dreamer and I know he may acting aggressively before but past is past.... I will always try to find something good about him and always try to forgive him in no matter what he will do. Because I Believe, God is with me and He will always protect me. I'm not afraid to this new brother.  and I as well believe that my Father in Heaven will bring my brother back to our family. :D
P.S : Let Your Smile Cover Up Your Tears :)

♥ New Year Resolution ♥

Hey hey~ What's Up? hahaha :) Me Gusta! that's my new greeting, I bet... I never had that kind of lameo (( In fact, all my ideas lame)) huahaha :)) Don't care. It's sound cute though. ahakz! Anyway, If you look at my post title, then you'll know what I'm going to tell for now. hehe :) I finished listing my resolution last night and I got more than ten :) Oh well, I just listed all the non-impossible-to-do one. ahahaha :)) So, Umm... here we go :



  Learn Cooking Various type of food :)

  Finishing My newest story :) ((This one has the hardest story line))

 Collect Money. I want to buy myself a new phone N8 yo! ;)

 Loss a little weight. Maybe lose about 15 kg. ehehe :))

 Eating more Fruits and Vegetable, Less Junk Food :)

 Improving my drawing. *Still lacking of skills*

 Pass my driving test ^U^

 Go on Vacation. I really need to get out from Sarawak. hahaha :) 

 Become clean person. I mean like half clean-freak as I always dream to be one. LOL :) I'm weird.

 Go stylish! Weehoo :)

 Cherish my family and friends. Never lost contact with anyone of them :)

 Improving my handwriting. This is because my handwriting is worse than kindergarten kids. hahaha :)

 Get rid of my scars on my both legs :) I want to have nice leg. huahaha :))

 Improving my bedroom. Collect money first, then I want to paint my bedroom :)

 Attend Church every Sunday :)

 Go for sin confession on Easter :)

 No more lazybones :)

 Completing my Figure Dolls :)

Ahaha :D what A list? I know and yeah, about next year... I'm freaking out. You know, SPM result is going to be announce. My heart pounding so fast every time i thought about it because I know I didn't do it right :( Oh God! I didn't aspect for something like straight As la.. I just target... urgh! I'm not sure! Just hoping that I didn't get any red marks! Oh God! I really wish I won't fail my SPM. Keep Faith, Pgie! :) 

So, to end this post and the last post of my 2011, I let my newest bias of 2011 to end :) MIREU ♥

Like seriously, I have thought of writing "I want BANGCHEOLYONG as my boyfriend in 2012" but I decided not to do it. LOL :)))

Adieu ♥

P.S : Let Your Smile Cover Up Your Tears :)

ME GUSTA!

Short View Of My FanFics :)

. Pgie sighed and went back to the restaurant, “What happen?” Prudence asked as she noticed Pgie came inside with a disappointed look, “I just got call from Jaba,” Pgie answered as she took her handbag and her shopping back, “She said, got emergency at the office and I need to be there as well,” she added, “Aw, we’re just getting started…” Fiona pouts, “I know and I’m sorry,” she frowned; her facial fill with guilt. “It’s okay… it’s not your fault,” Valerie flashed a smile. Then she noticed a familiar Black Vios parked outside the restaurant, “I’ll see you guys tonight,” she said and left her friends. Pgie hurried her steps towards the black Vios.

“Hey,” she greeted a skinny girl with a shoulder-length black straight hair who drove the very car. She was her sister namely Jaba, 21 years old. “Hey, has a good shopping?” Jaba asked.

 “Pretty good,” Pgie shrugged, “So, what do you know about our meeting?”

“Not much, I just knew that our client is a male, looking for a bodyguard and an investigator and he come from South Korea. The owner of J.Tune Fashion Company and rather popular in business industry, have lots of business enemy because everyone is envy of his success. His nemesis name JunPyo. Other than that he’s single.”

“That’s quite a lot of information you got there,” Pgie amazed with her sister, the best stalker among them, “What is his name?”

“That’s the main problem… I don’t know,” Jaba shook her head.  Pgie nodded, that person must be protected really good, it is impossible for Jaba can’t find the most simple thing to look for. ...

Hahaha :D what you guys think? tell mehh~ if it good, i'll post it online. if not, let I published it for myself. only :)

Happy Birthday Mr. Bloggy!

Ngeee :) Happy 2nd Birthay my love Mr. Bloggy :) Wahh~~~ It's been two years :) ngeeeeee ♥♥ hahaha :D Seriously, I never thought that you are only some kind of social network but I always thought you as a person. My bestiest friend, my diary and Of course you're one of my memory supporters. ngeee ♥ Yeah soo, for your birthday I just wanna say thank you so much for always be with me through thick and thin, through tears and laughter, through happiness and sadness, through stupidness and craziness :) You are the bestiest social network that I ever had in my whole life :) nothing else can be compared with you, even Tumblr, Twitter nor Facebook... they just ordinary. Not like you, YOU ARE THE BEST :) Nuga Jeil Jal Naga :) hahahaha :D you are the only place I could share my not-so-secret-stuff. ngehehehe :) I'm glad that I know how to use you at the very first place ;) Thank You So much for staying with me (( as you never ever go lagg )) You are my best friend :) I Love You, My One and Only Mr. Bloggy :) ♥ Love you forever :D

Love,
Doraemon94 ♥